I'm dealing with a young ass of a guy who got me pregnant on purpose now he won't step up

Esther - posted on 07/05/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I don't know how to feel I'm feeling back stabbed hurt everything emotions are everywhere I'm only 19 and I have family support but it would be nice for me to have him there like he said he would be from the beginning :( I can't stop crying at all I don't know how to fix this situation alone

6 Comments

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Helen - posted on 07/07/2014

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Hi Esther, sorry to hear you are goinf through this. A friend of mine also got pregnant in a similar situation and she has no communication with her ex-boyfriend since she was on the week 20. Now her LO is 3 years old, she is quite happy and independent. She has even started he own busines as a private make-up artist. Please stay strong, thing will get better soon!

Ev - posted on 07/06/2014

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It is hard to raise a child no matter if you are alone or not. Even married couples have issues when raising kids. I know women who take care of the kids and house and work and husband does nothing but have fun with the kids. But what you guys are denying these kids of is a relationship with the father and if he should decide to take you to court to get his visitation or even joint custody, he can get it and just might get what he wants out of it. Not all men are like those you two have described but at the same time you do not have the right to decide if these men are to know their kids or not; that should be up to the judge. And if you are not going to take him to court to get the support, visitation and custody worked out, then that is on you.

Brooke - posted on 07/06/2014

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I am also 19 and i had a baby four months ago and i don't have his support either.hes here but doesnt help.honestly if he isnt going to help out leave him.its hard doing it on your own but it hurts more doing it on your own with him there

Ev - posted on 07/06/2014

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You did not relay that in your first post. So if he took advantage of this fact, why did you not report him to the authorities? Also, if he chooses to take this to court and try to get his rights and he can, the judge will be the one that decides if he sees this child or not; you will not have a say in that.

Esther - posted on 07/06/2014

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I didn't have sex with him willingly I was on my medication I didn't allow him to have sex with me he took advantage of me therefor he will not be in my child's life

Ev - posted on 07/06/2014

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I am sorry you are going through this without support of any kind from this man but you did have sex with him willingly and so I do not think he just up and decided to have a baby with you. Also, think about it, he might not want to be a dad yet just as you might have not wanted to be a mom yet. I do not know for sure your thoughts on having a child all of a sudden but just supposing you were not ready for that. It took the two of you to get together and do this. You can not force him to step up so when the baby does come go seek a lawyer and get custody, child support, and visitation set up as soon as you can after the baby gets here. The courts can MAKE HIM responsible for his part.

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