I'm debating about my daughter knowing the fairy-tale world or not introducing her to it ¿ideas?

Ashley - posted on 04/23/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Let me start off as I am a young mother of a 5mnth old and my husband and I were talking about what he expects and what i expect out of family issues, before they come. As in children asking mommy and she says no then going to daddy. The how we will deal with things...... NOW we r stuck on FANTASY WORLD.



I know that there is disney world and universal studios, but as a ONLY child growing up I was opened up to the world of princess and prince characters. Saying that as a mother and knowing how little girls fantasize about being swept away by prince charming I'm at a stand-point if I should even allow that. Not saying that there is a problem with fantasy! Just really at a lose of how to's:



And I understand that heart ache is in growing up either way there is no way around it, but what would you say or ideas to how to go about this.

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Kimberly - posted on 04/23/2010

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Fantasy abounds in kids whether it's in books, movies or their own imagination. Fantasy is a healthy thing to encourage. Where would we be if there was no Imagination and role playing. I totally agree with Rachael that little girls and boys learn about relationships from watching people they love and trust.
Disney should make a movie showing Snow White and Cinderella changing diapers and making a meal that no one likes! LOL
That's the fun in watching and reading fairy tales, we know it's not real! It's meant to be an escape from reality. As long as she is raised to know the distinction, she'll be fine

Rachael - posted on 04/23/2010

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Of course you should! Girls are not damaged by watching Beauty and the Beast or The Little Mermaid! They are damaged by parents(especially fathers) that don't raise them to know the difference. Using imagination and making little girls feel like princesses is something that we as parents need to instill in our children!

Our children son't learn how to have relationships from disney, they learn it from watching their parents marriage. If your daughter sees that daddy treats mommy with love and respect than she will grow up and set that as her standard for any guy she dates. Fathers should treat their daughters as princesses and eventually as smart beautiful woman so that they grow up to have a health image of men.

Teenage girls don't sleep around because they have healthy self esteems and women don't get into abusive realtionships because they want to. They do so because their fathers didn't teach their daughters that they should never settle for less.



Bottom line is that I encourage you not to take away disney, but to encourage your husband to treat you and your daughter like the beautiful women you are. Plus, prince charming may not ride in on a white horse, but a man that cherishes his family and loves his women is certainly a prince in my book.

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Dee - posted on 05/22/2012

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My two and a half year old believes we have fairies living in our garden. We have trees in our front yard covered in solar powered fairy lights which come on at night. She believe the fairies leave them on for her at night time. Every night before bed we rug up and go outside in the dark and look to find the moon and say goodnight to the fairies. Her little eyes are just so full of excitement and wonder. I have no problem with her believing in fairies, just like I have no problem with her believing in Santa, The Easter Bunny and other imaginary things- this is the magic and wonder of childhood where anything is possible. My mum told me fairies were real when I was a little girl and I still find so much joy remembering the times we spent looking for them in our garden or painting pictures of them. We all grow out of it- I say embrace the magic of the fairytale world!! :) :) :)

Meghan - posted on 04/23/2010

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I am 23 years old and I still believe in Prince Charming...like you, my father was around but royally sucked sometimes. A girl can dream right? You both have to lead by example and like some other mom's said, she is going to run into that situation sometime! I use Disney movies as a great excuse to resort back to childhood-nothing like putting one on and cuddling my son! ( even though half the time I end sitting there watching it by myself lol) Good luck!

Kristin - posted on 04/23/2010

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Unless you intend to keep her in your house until she reaches the age of adulthood, she is going to encounter much of this. There really is no way to miss it. Take a look at the story books, and not just for the older kids. Where is the reality in a duck and pig potty training? Many of the fairy tales and stories of princesses and princes teach more than the overall story. Many, in their original form, served as a warning to children about behavior. Think about the boy who cried wolf. Then there are Aesop's Fables.

Ultimately, every child is going to go through a fantasy period. This is normal and healthy. It shows that your child is developing in a very healthy manner and her brain is developing normally. A child usually only retreats to a fantasy world in times of great stress for them. It's a safe place where they are in control. Talking with your daughter, as she matures, about these stories, films, and games will help her to allow them to coexist with reality and to be able to draw the line between the two. As her parent, you get to choose when she begins to be exposed to most of this. If you have concerns, read, listen to, or watch it first. Then you get to decide if she has the maturity to experience this without it causing nightmares and whatnot. If you don't want her to see something at a friend's house, you can talk to the other parent, offer something else instead, or just not let her go. Your job is to guide her through this.

As for adult relationships portrayed in many of these stories, she is far from being able to understand or care what is going on there. Her best example will be you and her father, her grandparents, extended family, and her close friends' parents. The desire to be swept away will come from more sources than the fairy tales she encounters in the next 10 years. Think about the romantic comedies we adults watch now. Even without the influence of film, literature, and our friends, we all want that one true love that lasts forever. It's totally normal. But to find someone even close, we try on relationships and other people for size. Some are truly blessed and find it quickly, others struggle but get there eventually, others never do. There will be heartaches, but that is how we learn to make better choices in all of our relationships, not just romantic but friendships as well.

Sorry if this sounds like a major something. I really only intended to say that she will develop a fantasy world anyway. It is a good thing. Imagination is wonderful and spurs humanity on to greater things. Just use your best judgement and good luck.

Ashley - posted on 04/23/2010

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I want to thank all of you for your input. Like i said i was raised with fantasy but i also did not have my dad around and when he was around he DID NOT show how a lady is to be treated. That is one thing my husband and i have discussed. Children learn from their parents and pick up on everything that they do. Of course girls attach to their daddy's and boys attach mostly to their moms. Lately i have been listening real close to these songs that really have meanings behind them and putting it in a journal i have for my daughter when she gets older. I just want to be the best mother i can.

Darbie - posted on 04/23/2010

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I agree with Rachael Toupin. I'm a 23 year old, mother of two daughters. My oldest is 20 months and my youngest is 8 months. They both absolutely love disney and I love watching my oldest interact with all her Disney movies. When children watch not just disney movies, but any movie that gets them to use their imagination, that's great. They need to learn to imagine things. When you get older, knowing how to use your imagination, can be a very good thing. The bigger your imagination, the better. Because you can come up with ideas for big companies, that someone else would have never thought possible, nor thought of at all. Now yes, making sure you let your child know what is fanatsy and what in not fantasy, is a must. They need to know that somethings are not, going to happen like they do in fairy tale endings. For example: Kissing frogs, so that will he will become your prince charming, we all know that the only thing we get from kissing frogs, are warts. Or rubbing lamps, we also know that, no geanie comes out, to give you any wishes. What you wish for, you have to work for. But you get the idea. If you let them watch the Disney movies, then just teach them fantasy from none fantasy. Also, alot of movies depict, fiction from none fiction, things that are real and thongs that are not. If you think about it, our lives revovle around all this. If you truely want something in life, you have to work really hard for it, before you can get it. Sometimes even working though, things don't come true. BUT, GOOD LUCK Ashely!!!

Lisa - posted on 04/23/2010

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Fairy Tales and fantasy stories are always good stories that teach moral behavior.



Every good fairy tale has a good, kind main character who has found him/herself in a difficult situation that they must solve with quick thinking and good behavior. The villians always suffer for their bad deeds and the hero/ines are always rewarded in the end.



These are important good vs. evil concepts that are important to impress in our children. As they get older, it's okay to introduce them to more complicated stories that reflect a more complicated reality, but fairy tales are an excellent way to gently begin their moral education.



It is a GOOD thing to let your daughter relate to the heroines in these stories. Let her see herself in the good characters who are kind and loving and fair and smart and all the other things fairy tale princesses are.



After all, role playing is just "practicing" different behaviors. We want their play to reflect the values we hope to instill. If you are worried, steer clear of helpless maidens who can't do a thing to solve their own problems and emphasize quick thinking, independant, brave girls.



Don't worry too much about Prince Charming now. He may look like a cartoon Prince, but in her mind, he will always behave like Daddy. A good relationship between the two of them will have the greatest impact on the kind of White Knight she chooses to ride away with when the time comes.



Good luck!

September - posted on 04/23/2010

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I think that introducing your daughter to the "fantasy world" is ok as long as she is old enough to understand that it's just that...."fantasy world" and not reality necessarily. Good luck with whatever you decide :)

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