I'm feeling resentment & anger. Help.

Monica - posted on 06/26/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )




Today is one of those days that I feel down. I just found out my Ex got engaged. I have been apart from him for 3 years. I initiated it as I endured many years of Emotional Abuse from him. I was abandoned from him as his priorities were more about what was best for him & that meant heading to the Cabin every weekend regardless if we had our children's birthday parties planned. He always wanted to have life's whole package....marriage, wife, kids, home, money. But we weren't happy.
I fell in love with my Best Friend after we split & have been very happy. The only thing is that my Ex manipulated people into believing that my new Boyfriend was the reason we split. He will never take owness for his mistakes. Sure, I made mistakes & one of them being was getting into another relationship so fast. I was so neglected that I felt that I was single for the last 5 years of our marriage. Even our intimate moments were controlled by if he was in the mood. I was dead inside. Can anyone relate to that.
My Best Friend had been in my life for many many many years & he was always supportive of me trying everything to make my marriage work & I did but it takes 2 to make that happen & when someone cannot or will not recognize the problems, it won't work.
My kids liked my Boyfriend at 1st but now my kids hate my Boyfriend now & after taking them to a Psychologist, I found that what the problem is that they will forever feel, that because of him, we didn't have a chance to get back together (my ex & I) What they are too young to understand is that my boyfriend was just what I needed and without any effort. I truly believe that my Ex would of had to work to make himself change but it would of worn off & he would of settled into the norm again.
My boyfriend lives in another province because I didn't want to rock the boat in our household. The kids were already upset about the separation. They threatened me that if he moved here that they would move in with their Dad. I couldn't take the chance. My Ex still believed that he knew me better than I knew myself & he told me if I continued with the Relationship that I would lose my kids. He met a girl that the kids approved of & life is wonderful for him. This Girlfriend has resorted to calling me a Psycho & wants nothing to do with me but is involved with my kids. My kids are very secretive about everything to do with their Dad & his now Fiance.
It hurts me to know that I cannot live a life normally with my Boyfriend. He wants to marry me & I do love him & realize that he is perfect for me. Our long distance relationship has given us such good communication. WE see each other once a month but its taking a toll on me. He is willing to move but finding a job is hard here.
I don't want to resent my kids from preventing my happiness also.
I keep thinking why is it that the ones that don't treat others nicely & that are so selfish always come out on top. I mean my Ex was charged with a serious crime & blamed his Employer for making him do it & he got a slap on the hand & continued for years to go at another job. I turned a blind eye because he told me that it was ok. I do not trust him at all.
Is my Ex so believable in everything that he says. Or is it me that? It's taken me a long time to realize that I am a good person & a great Mom. He can't take that away from me as hard as he tries to discredit me.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms