I'm feeling selfish

Taylor - posted on 04/30/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a 9 yr old son from a previous relationship and I would love to have another child with my husband, but when our niece is born she will be taken away from her mother, I wanna help and take this child in but I know I won't get a chance to have another biological child... I know that is selfish but it's how I feel...any thoughts on this?

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Taylor - posted on 04/30/2015

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That's what I say... lol and my brother n law and his wife are taking care of the other child that was taken from them and they r financially struggling now they can't afford another one but me and my husband both work and we just bought a house we have the space and means to take care of more children... it's mostly I fell selfish cause I don't think my husband will have child with me if we adopt her... and the mother I'm not sure if they are stripping her rights but when know right now as soon as she has the baby the state is taking her way from her

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2015

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I see your point, but if you and your spouse don't get on the same page then you are looking at a lifetime of resentment. What about trying to keep the kids together with your BIL? When you say unstable, is she being stripped of her parental rights at delivery? I have four kids and if you wait until the right time, when you have the right job, or make enough money, you will never have kids. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have two so close in age, raised together? Money should not stop from having a baby of your own with your hubby. if you conceived multiples, you'd deal with it, so why not roll the dice. The more the merrier.

Taylor - posted on 04/30/2015

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I would.. but it's my husband that would protest to having a another child and adopting... her biological mother is not stable and neither is the father and my husband's brother and wife are already taking care of their son but can't afford second child and I feel as though we should at least try to get custody so we can try to keep the kids close to each other... but I know if we do my husband won't want to have a biological child..I'm torn on it... I feel selfish for wanting to carry and have our own but I also don't want that poor baby girl getting lost in the system

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2015

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Will you be adopting your niece permanently? Why are you the one taking in the baby? If you were to get pregnant, who can say whether you'd have twins to raise anyway? If you want a bio-child and can still open your home to your niece, then do it! why not?

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