I'm having a problem with my daughter who wants to see her dad and wants to live with him and she has unreasonably high standards for him! my problem with this is that he disappeared alittle over a year ago!! hasnt been around since. just ran off after i signed a joint custody order. I dont think its healthy for her to have such high expectations of someone she doesnt know all that well and hasnt seen in over a year! not to mention when I was with her father he was extremely abusive!!! Someone please! I need advice .

Morgan - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm having a problem with my daughter who wants to see her dad and wants to live with him and she has unreasonably high standards for him! my problem with this is that he disappeared alittle over a year ago!! hasnt been around since. just ran off after i signed a joint custody order. I dont think its healthy for her to have such high expectations of someone she doesnt know all that well and hasnt seen in over a year! not to mention when I was with her father he was extremely abusive!!! Someone please! I need advice .

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Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012

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Are there any other male role models in her life? If you have any male family members maybe they could spend once a week with her, even just going to the park with you two. She may just be gripping onto a male role model here.



At least if she has someone who sees her consistantly maybe she won't need to put her father on a pedastal. How old is she anyway? It's not unrealistic for her to have high expectations of her father, she probably loves him dearly no matter what he's done. Especially with him being away that gives her the opportunity to idolize him in an unreal matter.



This is a tough situation, on one hand you shouldn't make negative comments about him, but he's also done the wrong thing.



I would find another person who can be a responsible and consistant male role model in her life. If you're really worried maybe you can get her a councellor to talk about all of this? It must've been hard for her being without a father in her life for a year.



It's a tough spot to be in :( I hope it works out

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