I'm in love with a man who wants to move out of state..

Angie - posted on 05/12/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




I'm in the middle of a divorce....I met my boyfriend during the process. I have two children who are quite young. My boyfriend & I are in love with one another, like that destiny waiting to be found. Only thing is, he doesn't personally have kids and he has always wanted to move out of state for a long time, and he's retiring soon from his current job, date set. He told me he won't be moving out of state for another year or so. I know I can handle the long distance relationship, he said he could too, we've talked about it. We barely talk about him moving anymore though because it bothers both of us, he gets pretty bummed about it. I don't want to be a reason to hold him back from traveling, moving, he's always wanted to do that. But at the same time my heart gets sad and scared at the thought. Do you think in a years time when he has said he plans to move, that he will perhaps change his mind? He hates it here, this state in general. He wants to live near snow and mountains, I wish I could too because I hate this state as much as he does. I know he wants to get married and have a family one day when he moves, I am just scared because I can't move with him with my kids and I secretly want to just ask him to wait for me. I know he wants to be with me long term too. But I don't expect him to stick around for me....or do you think in time he would wait for me?


View replies by

Raye - posted on 05/13/2015




If he's not going to move for a year, you have a little time to figure things out. Is there anything that can speed up the divorce? Would your ex ever consent to you moving out of state with the kids? It will be tough on the kids with the divorce. They may not be ready to accept a new father figure so soon. And if you do end up moving out of state, that's another hardship for the kids. Are you sure this is THE guy and not a rebound?

Michelle - posted on 05/13/2015




All I'll add to Jodi's reply is: You don't want him to resent you in the future because he didn't get to move like he had always wanted to.
We also have no idea if he is going to change his mind, that's up to him.

Jodi - posted on 05/13/2015




It sounds like he really isn't particularly committed to you and your children's best interests. Is he young? He sounds like he is still pretty flighty with regard to his life in general - a bit restless. If I were you I'd be very careful in introducing your children to him or having him too involved in their lives.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms