I'm nervous about taking my son's father off child support

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

9

0

1

Hi My name is Tymeshiabaker2015@gmail Baker and I'm a mother of a 2 year old son. and his Father wanted me to take him off child support and give me money for my baby boy but what should I do? Take him off or keep him on the child support?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 12/31/2015

3,562

36

3907

Well, he has a right to request a DNA test. You guys need to stop arguing over the little things. I understand it must have been hurtful that he asked for a DNA test, especially if you hadn't had any other partners at that time. However, it is time to just take a step back and stop the bickering (both of you). Set up court orders for custody and visitation, and also keep up the child support, and if a DNA test is required, just do it. Don't set yourselves up to make your child some pawn in your disagreements with each other.

The fact is, you now have a child together. You can't change that. You are now going to have to co-parent for 18 years. That's a LONG 18 years if you argue over such basic rights for your child as child support and relationships with both parents. You need to take a step back and focus on your CHILD'S rights, not what is right for you or right for him.

I am not trying to be mean to you saying this, I am just being factual and giving you an objective opinion. Right now, it seems the two of you are playing some power game and it needs to stop. If he won't stop it, you need to be the one to take the high road, for the sake of your child. Stop playing his game.

14 Comments

View replies by

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

I'm not going to take him off....Michelle It was just a little thought but I'm not....

Michelle - posted on 12/31/2015

3,916

8

3246

Getting Child Support isn't revenge, it's the child's right to be supported financially during it's childhood by both parents. Stop thinking that you did it for revenge, it had to be done.
In regards to stopping it, DON'T!!!!! He will stop paying altogether if you do that. If he really wants to give you more he can.
Like Jodi has said, you also should get custody and visitation done through the courts. It's the only way to protect yourself and your child. That way everyone knows where they stand.

ETA: I would suggest taking your email address off your original post. This isn't a private forum and if you have seen all the autospammers posting you will see it's wise to follow basic internet security.

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

Yeah you're right.. But that situation request happened 2 years ago and now we decided to get along for the sake of the child and stop all the bickering and arguing for the sake of our 2 year old son....we talk on basics about our son but I had to grow up and leave the childish games behind... But we managed to have our conversation from time to time but I told him that I still love him as a friend and settle things down as friends...

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

He asked me for a DNA Test because he thought that I was lying about the baby was his and which it was and I said I'm going to get his ass back for putting me through hell and I said I got him with the child support...which my baby looks like him to....

Jodi - posted on 12/31/2015

3,562

36

3907

What do you mean? You put him on child support out of revenge?

Child support is not revenge. It is the child's right to having both parents support them financially. People need to stop using it as a bargaining chip. Don't feel bad about it, but stop allowing it to be used as the pawn between the two of you.

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

I'm not but I felt bad because its How I did it but I did it out of Revenge Jodi

Jodi - posted on 12/31/2015

3,562

36

3907

I knew there was a reason he was asking you to do this. Don't let him bully you into it. He's just being an asshole.

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

Right Dove and he wanna claim my son on his taxes and which he can't do that because my son don't lives with him....my son lives with me

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

I know right Jodi and I guess that he was getting tired of the child support...but I explain how the child support works.. He will Stop paying until the child turns 18 and graduate from high school

Dove - posted on 12/31/2015

11,897

0

1350

Keep the custody, visitation, and child support all legal through court orders. If he wants to give MORE to his son in addition to the court set amount... he is more than welcome to do that and there is nothing stopping him except excuses.

Jodi - posted on 12/31/2015

3,562

36

3907

That makes absolutely no sense. He can do more even if he is ON child support if he chooses to. He is just choosing not to.

Tymeshia - posted on 12/31/2015

9

0

1

He just aske me to take him off because he wanted to do more for My son Jayden and I'm thinking real hard about it because he's planning on giving me money for him...

Jodi - posted on 12/31/2015

3,562

36

3907

Well, there is no advantage in you taking him off child support. So why would you do it? The only person who is likely to benefit from this arrangement is him....did you ask him WHY he wants you to take him off child support?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms