I'm new and i j oined because I could really use some advise and ideas on how to get my son to stop whining. He is 4 years old and it started when I had my second child who is 5 months, i thought it would stop after he ajusted to his new brother but it is only getting worse!! Please any adivse/suggestions would help.


Amber - posted on 06/25/2011




I have always told my son that when he's ready to use his big boy voice so mommy can understand him, I will be happy to listen. Then, I have addressed that fact that I've heard him and he knows what is required of him to get the response he wants.
It worked well for us. I have a non-whining 4 year old and I've only had to remind him a dozen or so times, and that was months ago.

Neva - posted on 06/25/2011




Ah, yes, the whiney 4"s. Hehe. The best way to stop the whining is to not respond to it. You can tell him that you don't understand him when he whines and that you will only answer him when he speaks in a normal tone of voice. He will test you, of course, so you should just ignore him when he whines. When he speaks in a normal tone, then give him attention. You may have to remind him from time to time, that you just can't hear him when he uses that whining voice. It should start to get better. You must be consistent, though. If you give any type of attention, positive or negative when he whines, then you reinforce the behavior and it will continue.


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Misty - posted on 06/26/2011




wow these are some great suggestions!! Thank you all so much i look forward to hearing more suggestions but i will start trying some today!

Erin - posted on 06/26/2011




My daughter has started regressing BADLY. Im due in 2 weeks, and she is starting to realize that she wont be the baby anymore. Shes been whining, asking about bottles and soothers, and wanting to play with all the babies toys. I bet its some sort of jealousy thing, it'll come and go, whenever something reminds them that they are no longer the center of attention, or the baby. Time. Lots of time. I have had 5 years of only daughter, so I cant really speak out of experience, and im going to read througha bunch of these posts to see if I can get good pointers before I get myself into trouble here. Maybe make some special routine for each kid. Find out what each kid loves most, and do that with them. One special thing per kid? I dunno. My daughter loves playing the wii with her dad, maybe if my son loves bugs or something, she can get a new game and he can get an ant farm. I dunno. lol

Claret - posted on 06/25/2011




My kids (ages 6& 8) still whine, but less than they used to. I have told them that if they asks a question, I will give him a yes or no. But if they whine, it will always be a no because I can't reward that.

[deleted account]

I do the same as Amber. I tell my daughter that I don't speak that language and when she's ready to use her big girl words in her big girl voice then I will listen (she's 3 1/2). Usually she gets all mad and goes in the other room, but she always comes back to me and tells me what she was trying to say earlier with her big girl words and in her big girl voice.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/25/2011




When my daughter was young and started whining, I used a tape recorder to record her voice and played it back to her. She was amazed by the sound of her own whining voice. She hadn't known how she sounded. After several times recording her, when I let her know she was whining, she stopped.

Karli - posted on 06/25/2011




You can try asking him what he is feeling and thinking when he is whining, he might be having some issues with having to share you with someone else. He hears his little brother make some noises and probably gets your attention immediately, so he might be giving it a shot to see if will work for him. I am so set against just ignoring these things hoping they will just go away. I know that when someone ignores me it makes me feel unimportant and that is a terrible feeling especially for a child. You need to start asking him what he is feeling or if he is worried about growing up and someone taking his place. If he can give you some answers then you can figure out what to do next.

Delia - posted on 06/25/2011




Could be the age. My darling sweety pie ALSO just started whining now that he's 4 years old. I'll be watching the posts on this too!

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