I'm sixteen and pregnant and I need help

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/10/2013 ( 72 moms have responded )

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I just don't know what's best anymore. Idk anything anymore . I'm scared and terrified I just want her to be ok. Half the time I want to hate my boyfriend most the time I just pray he doesn't leave. I love him I do and he's gonna be a great dad . I just not gonna be able to support Anna maybe she should live with her dad when she's born no matter how much it hurts me..

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Ws - posted on 06/15/2013

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Not from this mother of adoption loss' view. It's a life sentence, with triggers galore. Kids movies, just seeing a kid, watching your other children cry.... This changes you as a person forever. You must learn to walk around with a piece of you missing. This is a last resort option. It is a lifetime sentence, and society does not understand. You will not be allowed to grieve publicly, you will be forced to do so in silence, as everyone believes the adoption industry's sensationalization of the sunshine and rainbows facade of adoption. The truth is, is is based on loss. Trust me, you cannot prepare for this feeling, as there are no words to make you truly understand what this does to you. How the gray cloud will be there over everything you do. Many women who lose their children to adoption suffer from PTSD, secondary infertility, and being forced to walk on eggshells if you buy into open adoption, because any negative reactions will give the people who have your child a reason to cut you off. Because it is too much for them to handle. I know, I'm living everything I just typed out here. Keep your baby, I will help you. Just let me know what it is you feel you are missing. Adoption does not give your child any guarantee of 'better', the only thing it will guarantee, it 'different', and the unique experience of being separated from the only person, voice, smell and taste he/she knew while growing inside you. YOU are ENOUGH.

Stephanie - posted on 06/11/2013

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You have some awesome posts already with great information, so I just want to encourage you to keep your head up. God has amazing plans for your life and that baby of yours also. He knows you better than anyone and loves you more too. You will be get through this time and look back as a stronger person. I became a mom very young and unexpectedly. I had ups and downs, hard times, and wonderful times. That's life. I'm stronger now because of those times. Definitely find some support; people that can mentor you, that you can cry on their shoulders, and that will be encouraging.

Urban - posted on 06/14/2013

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First off, I am hoping to adopt some day, so I am not opposed to all adoption. Just to be clear, since I began researching adoption, I learned that it should only come in to play when the parents are a danger to the child, or when they flat out don't ever want to be parents. This is what I have learned.
Now I will tell you my best friend's story. He was adopted by two psychologists. They were wealthy and educated, and actually award winning in their work. When he was about 7 years old, they figured it out. He was gay. Their highly educated, award winning answer to that? Take turns beating the gay out of him. That's right, one would hold him down while the other one beat him. When the beater got tired they would switch places. I know his parents and they are as charming, educated, and endearing as anyone could be. ( Of course they were going through a divorce already when they adopted.) I can't imagine not choosing them to parent my child (if I were looking)
My point of telling you about his story is so you understand that choosing adoption because you think it means choosing a better life for you child....that's a myth. People are people whether they adopt or give birth or whatever. They can be as ill-equipped as you at rearing your child. They get divorced, they lose their jobs, they get sick and die.....people who adopt are not immune to anything, just like you.
Now about your mother, if she is standing in your way, move out. Yes that will be much harder that I make it sound, but I doubt you would regret it as much as you would certainly regret not keeping your child in your care. There are places you can go that aren't exactly the Ritz Carlton, but you and your baby will be together.
One more piece of advice....please don't fall for that coercive language so many people use...like "Think of your child first, before your selfishness.) I would stake my life on believing the overwhelming majority of people do not with their mothers had given them away at birth, no matter how dirt poor they might have been. Adoption IS beautiful.....for the adoptive parents. Period.
Yes, you are only 16, but it's time for you to stand up and make some adult decisions now, no matter how scary. Call your favorite teacher or church or anyone you look up to and tell them you are pregnant, not giving your child away for adoption, and need some help and direction in taking the steps to secure housing and healthcare. You can do this, it's done every day in our country.

Meghan - posted on 06/13/2013

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I know how scary this is. The fact that you are so worried about your baby shows me that you have great maternal instinct. Trust yourself and follow your heart. I was 16 when I got pregnant. I said many of the things you are saying. I was terrified. Last week I got to watch as my son graduated high school.

I'm not even sure why anyone is suggesting adoption but you should really talk to women who have been through it. Open adoption is not legally enforceable and can be closed at any time so unless you can live with never seeing your baby again it is not the best choice.

DawnDee - posted on 06/12/2013

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Mom to be - your hormones are very imbalanced right now and your thoughts are normal even for someone older than 16 years of age. You need to seek a higher power than those around you. When you are in a situation where there seems to be now answer and no end - PRAY. Not to be religious or anything. But, there is a higher power and you need to seek IT.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. Websites such as this one is a great way to get feedback to your unanswered questions and uneasy thoughts.

Things will get easier - just hold on. You are going through a transition right now. Think of the weather and when there are Tornadoes it because so dark, rainy, windy, starts to hail. This is very scary and then when its over the SUN comes out and its clear again.

Mom--- that's how life is sometimes.

Peace be with you.

72 Comments

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Beckett-danielle7869 - posted on 04/01/2014

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Are you interested in having your daughter adopted by loving parents? E-mail me or Facebook me at beckett-danielle7869@hotmail. com

Junkheaddemo - posted on 03/10/2014

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I became pregnant with my first daughter at 16, too. It is a very emotionally trying time for your family, no doubt. All good moms worry about their qualifications as a parent, that just means you're aware enough to turn those doubts into faith! I'm not sure what your situation is, but it would be REALLY beneficial for you to have a strong support system to talk all of these things through with you. You should know there are maternity homes that accept pregnant teenagers, and most of them have a ton of resources for moms just like you. Just remember all of your decisions should be in the best interest of the baby you're carrying. Young love doesn't usually last, unfortunately, but being able to navigate these tough situations with a counselor with experience in this stuff would really help you sort through your options.

[deleted account]

KaylaaMechele ... I'm about to have my 3rd child & I still worry about being a good Mom... worrying about whether or not you are going to be a good Mom is normal. IMO it means that you care enough to want to provide the best for your child, whatever you choose that best to be. At 16 things will be tougher and times will seem bleak, but don't give up. Get yourself an education, push your boyfriend to get one too.
I felt a little animosity towards my husband too when we were expecting our first child, it is the hormones. Don't make any decisions about your relationship until you have had the baby and things return to somewhat normal. Sounds like your bf is trying.
As for your parents, mine were biological and things were not the greatest, I moved out at 18 & never looked back. Do what you need to survive in there until you graduate hs, then talk to your state about help while working & going back to college.

Kait - posted on 06/24/2013

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The money was not why I gave up my baby. I has no clue about any kind of money until after I was most of the way through the pregnancy and had already made my mind up on adoption.

Kait - posted on 06/24/2013

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look WS all im saying is YOU are the one who gave your baby up. It was your decision and you have nobody to blame but yourself. Its no one elses fault that you made the wrong decision for you. You didn't "lose" your baby you gave it up. And no the money dosnt give me assurance my baby will be ok. I have assurance because I choose the parents. All im saying is gladney actually cares about their birth morthers and you shouldn't be giving them a bad name because your upset with the decision that you made. I wasn't telling her to put the baby up for adoption I was just saying giving them a bad wrap because you made the decision isn't fair. And kayla im sure you will be a great mom. As long as you are there for her and you care your a good mom.

Ws - posted on 06/24/2013

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So, telling my story 'talks people out of' losing their child - great. Gladney didn't keep in touch with me, they didn't give me full disclosure as they should have, and I will not be silenced. KaylaaMechele has already said that she is not considering adoption. I'm glad that you are happy and that $1500 makes you feel better and helps you think that your child will be better off without you. That is YOUR story, and until you walked in my shoes, and lived through what I have, don't attempt to silence me. My truth, my story, and I have every right to tell it. Silence is acceptance, and I will never accept what they knowingly and calculatedly did to me to ensure I wouldn't back out on 'the plan'. For example, they never had me speak with adult adoptees, and especially not other mothers of adoption loss. I would've heard the truth, and I never would have let him go. No one offered to help me find a way to keep my son, especially not since that would've killed the business deal and they wouldn't have collected the $17,000 for my son. Not in their best interests.

All I do is try to help women find the resources and the condidence that they are ENOUGH that they are lacking, because if they feel they have no other choice, then it's really not a choice at all is it?? If we find all resources and build a support network for the mother to be, and she still chooses to not be a parent, then I will support her as well. But financial coercion is NOT a reason to lose your baby. It is taking advantage of someone at one of the most vulnerable times in a wan 's life, while she is pregnant.

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/24/2013

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I have friends and mine and his family are mostly supportive I'm just scared I'm not gonna be a good mom.

Kait - posted on 06/24/2013

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Ws - Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean that you have to go around trying to talk people out of it or putting down Gladney. You didn't lose your baby you gave it up. YOU are the one who made the choice they didn't make it for you. I went through an adoption with gladney. Sure it bothers me sometimes but I know that it was my choice and it was the best choice. They offered me counseling, an apartment, and financial assistance. My case worker has still kept in contact with me and they are very caring people that want what is best for you. Thanks to them I will be getting 1500 dollars back a semester from college. You don't lose your baby to adoption you make the choice to give it up and it CAN make your childs life better. It isn't gladneys fault that you choose parents who weren't going to keep in contact with you. If I had kept my child it wouldn't have diapers and it would probably be hungry most of the time because I wasn't old enough to work and no one was going to support for me. And KaylaaMechele I wish the best and just make whatever choice you feel is correct. Im sure you can do it just stay positive!

Michelle - posted on 06/23/2013

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Chantal: She never even mentioned abortion either. If you see her response she's wanting help on how to be there for her child.

Kaylaa: It's normal to be scared, you're venturing into the unknown and are going to be responsible for another life. You'll be surprised at how well you will cope when your baby comes along though. Do you have any other support?
Have a look into what is available in your area for young mothers. Find a mothers group that you feel comfortable with, you'd be amazed at how well you can do just finding others to talk to.

Chantal - posted on 06/23/2013

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Michelle, you don't know anything. Putting a viable option on the table is no crime. I would prefere to adopt from a older girl who understands the process. I have done my homework and applied to agencies. It is good to let them know they have the option of keeping contact. Adoption is better than abortion.

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/23/2013

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Thank you Michelle . Your right it does not in any where say I want to adopt out my baby and their not helping . I want to know how to be a good mom for my daughter not give her away . I don't want to revive pictures of my daughters first birthday or learning to crawl or her first words I want to see it for myself . I am her mother I'm carrying her for nine months I feel her kick I'm the one who sings to her and talks to her I'm the one that worries . And no one can love her better than me cause I am her mom . And I'm gonna do my best by her .

Michelle - posted on 06/23/2013

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If you read the OP there is NO reference to adoption at all! Kaylaa has NEVER said she wanted to adopt her baby out so all of you ladies that keep telling her adopt it out are not helping.
Chantal: we know what your intentions are and you have been warned numerous times.

Chantal - posted on 06/23/2013

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Ws Mom, there is no need to be nasty to young girls in difficult situations. It takes a strong and selfless person to give their baby a better life. There are alot of laws in favor of birth mothers now so they can stay in contact with their children. I am sorry you had a negative experience with adoption. Don't take it out on other people.

Ws - posted on 06/21/2013

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I call this 'the cycyle' adoptees losing their children.....if you research it in your natural family, you may find it goes back generations. It is so very sad. I'm glad you're ok with losing your child. I hope your child will be ok with the loss of you.

Chantal - posted on 06/20/2013

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You can't put up a post like this, ask for advice and get mad at us for responding. If your home life is bad and you do not have the means to care for your baby, adoption is a good option. Open adoption gives you the opportunity to stay in contact with your babies adoptive parents. If you had planned on keeping her why did you write the post?
I hope you the best of luck!

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/20/2013

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And my boyfriend is there for me when he can be my mother hates him now and barley lets me see him but he's trying he got a job and he talks to Anna on the phone every chance he gets .

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/20/2013

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I don't know why people are telling me to adopt either . It's just not for me I couldn't do I've seen her and felt her kick I just couldnt

Chantal - posted on 06/19/2013

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Dana, thank you for sharing your story. So many girls who would benefit from adoption shy away because of ignorant people and their opinions.
I know in my case I would encourage the natural mother to stay in contact with us.

Dana - posted on 06/19/2013

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Sorry, but I have to vehemently disagree with the women saying adoption should be your absolute last option. First of all, if it weren't for my birth parents loving me enough to place me up for adoption, I would not have had the life I did growing up or my parents. Second of all, I have also placed a child up for adoption, I picked his parents through the adoption agency & to be honest, I could not have found better parents for my son, Sam, if I tried. My daughter also placed her son up for adoption 2 1/2 years ago, she picked her son's family, as well, & it's a perfect fit for all involved. I had an open adoption with my son's parents for a long time, but we lost contact a while ago. (Totally MY fault) Sure, I think about him every day, but I KNOW he had a great life with wonderful parents. Same goes for my daughter's son...open adoption, we get pictures all the time, see him as often as possible. Neither my daughter or I regret what we did by placing our babies up for adoption. We both knew we weren't ready to take on the responsibility of being the kind of mothers our sons' deserved. I was 25 & my daughter had just turned 2 when I had my son, Sam. I was already a single Mom & knew having 2 babies was more than I could handle. I KNOW I did the right thing. I will admit it was difficult nurturing that child inside me for 9 months & then leaving the hospital without him, but when I thought about it, I realized that my selflessness gave another couple, who could not get pregnant, a chance to be parents. Not ALL adoption stories are sunshine & rainbows, but I just wanted you to be aware that sometimes, the hardest decision is the best decision.

Chantal - posted on 06/16/2013

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In my opinion Adoption may be the answer. My husband and I are desperately wanting to adopt and we would never ask anyone to "give up" their baby. Open adoption can be the perfect solution. You can receive pictures of your baby and regular email updates. In some cases the adoptive parents will even agree to visits. Explore all your options and settle on one you can live with. No one is a perfect parent for sure but the younger you are, the more obstacles you have.

Marie - posted on 06/15/2013

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at the time i didnt know i was pregnant, it happened so quickly, after he got off me i was a bit confused why he ruined a pair of pantyhose i was wearing that he had gave me as a bday present.

Marie - posted on 06/15/2013

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how did you feel when you found out you was pregnant.
was it a planned pregnancy.

Marie - posted on 06/14/2013

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hi!
i became pregnant on my 16th bday, its not the end of the world although it seems
like it.

Urban - posted on 06/14/2013

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There is only ONE way you can ensure she doesn't grow up in a house like yours. Only one way you can be sure the things that happened to you won't happen to her. There's only one way you can make SURE she grows up feeling loved and valued. Keep her with you honey.

Angela - posted on 06/14/2013

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Hi, I got pregnant when I was 16 as well, my advice is dont give up on ur child, having a baby is the biggest reward ever:) it will be hard, but just lean on God, he will help u through!! Maybe u cud apply for a government grant? I got $900 a month for being a single mom...

Ws - posted on 06/14/2013

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Contact me, I have a huge network of mothers of adoption loss willing to stand alongside you. You will not be alone. You are going to be a great mother.

Ws - posted on 06/14/2013

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I lost my child through Gladney and have NEVER gotten any 'support' from them. Not one thing. Only a call that I ever received from Gladney was when the 'keepers of my son for now' wanted to only send bi-annual pictures. I miscarried my lost son's full biological sibling 2 days later due to the trauma experienced from losing him not once but twice. I adVise you to stay as far away from Gladney. Trust me, I know, I'm living it. (BTW, we haven't received any bi-annual pics either, but Gladney isn't following up on that for us. So much for 'support', they dropped us like a hot potato after the product was delivered and the check was deposited, never to be heard from again!!)

Ws - posted on 06/14/2013

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Many CPCs are affiliated with adoption agencies. Please call ahead and to ensure you get honest to goodness support for you and your child, ask outright if the CPC is affiliated with an agency. If they are, please move to one that is not. Many CPCs also are 'rewarded' with $$ for referring you, so be very careful when reaching for help! Reach for the people who have nothing to 'gain' (your baby) from you but still want to help you succeed!

Ws - posted on 06/14/2013

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Please look into secondary infertility after losing a child to adoption. 40% of women suffer from it after losing a child to adoption. I know, I'm living it. We've been trying for almost 2 years now. So having another may not be an option.

Ws - posted on 06/14/2013

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Open adoption is a double edged sword. If she has any regrets, the 'open' will close. I know, I'm living it. No decision to 'chose' to lose a child to adoption should be made until mom is at least 6 weeks postpartum. Even most animals aren't separated from their mothers until they are that old, why do we separate humans? Because its how the adoption industry can better ensure that a mother 'follows' through with giving up her baby, before she even knows what that separation feels like, and by then.....it's too late.

Natasha - posted on 06/14/2013

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dont worry girl im 17 and my daughter is 7 weeks old, I feel the same about her daddy . My family is supporting me my daughter and her dad . If your bf is able to support ur daughter maybe he can support the both of you maybe move in togther? When she's born I say breastfeed like im doing it saves money and trust me its hard in the beginning but dont give up! If you want to talk more you can message me if you can on this website lol sorry new on this.

Rhonda - posted on 06/14/2013

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If we all had children when we were ready, we would have ZERO population.
Being a mom is the hardest job ever. and at times be very unrewarding. Develop a support system. If you do not have one or do not know how to do that... do what you did here and ask?
Here is a book that I recommend. YOUR CHILDS SELF ESTEEM by Dorthy corky Briggs.
This book will help you raise a child that you will really like and enjoy.
for you man,
have him read, THE GIFT OF FATHERHOOD by aaron haas.
This book is amazing for men and woman.
No MATTER WHAT DECISION YOU MAKE it will NOT BE THE WRONG ONE. for there is more than one right answer. please consider looking at this last sentence over and over again.

and then ask yourself, WHAT IF EVERYTHING I THOUGHT WAS WRONG, WAS RIGHT.
If you WOULD LIKE my help you may contact me and I will help you build your self esteem or point you into the right direction.

Call jewish family services, you do not have to be jewish and they will help you.

Mmine87 - posted on 06/13/2013

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I dont know why everyone is telling you adoption. And all this god stuff. But I would suggest going to a different site, like baby-gaga.com or cafemom.com to get REAL HELP other than most of these people saying adoption, I can take your baby... etc etc. I think you should consider all of your options abortion, adoption and keeping the baby. I know if you join baby-gaga.com I can find you and talk to you more about your options.

I am raising a son, I have had an abortion and I have lost a child to adoption. My son that I am raising was first born. I really hope that you can get the advice that you need. None of this is easy. There is no easy way out, despite what people what others say.

Erika - posted on 06/13/2013

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I am the child of a teen mom who was adopted. I don't buy into a "bio" mom loving a child more than the adoptive parents. However, my parents never hid the fact I was adopted from me and never said an unkind word about my birth mom. After I was an adult I was lucky enough to be able to reunite with my birth mom. We are close and I love her, but it's different from how I love my parents who raised me. I have been blessed to have so many people who love me. My step sister had a daughter with severe disabilities at age 16. She raised her with help from her parents. It can be done.
Whatever route you choose get a strong support structure.... family, friends, resourses, etc and best of luck to you!

Victoria - posted on 06/13/2013

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Hi. I just want to tell you that it is possible to raise your baby on your own. Everything the people who want to adopt your child can give her will not come close to the love you can give her! I lost 2 children to adoption. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. If you would like to talk about resources that you need to make it possible to take care of your baby please email me victoriagallegos@att.net

Merary - posted on 06/13/2013

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Kaylaa you've gotten some great advice on these posts, I just wanted to share my experience to give you hope. I was a teen mom too. Granted I was 19 not 16 but still a child and in no position to raise a child. Adoption was not something I felt I could do, it was not the right choice for me but that does not mean it may not be the right choice for you. The first 3 years were tough, my son's father offered little to no help, disappearing for months at a time. I did have a very supportive mom that helped whenever possible, but she had her own demanding job and life and couldn't always be there. Sometimes there wasn't enough money for diapers, or to pay the daycare bill or to buy formula. I will tell you if there is some sort of public assistance where you live, take full advantage until you feel you can do it on you own. There is no shame in that. I had housing assistance and transitional assistance for the first few years, that helped me get my bachelors degree, helped with the daycare bills and the groceries while I worked and went to school. Now my son is 7 and he is happy, healthy and so smart, I can't imagine my life without him. I have a great job which allows me to support both of us without the need of that public assistance that was so helpful in the beginning. And yes, I did it all as a single mom for the last 7 years. So as others said keep looking ahead, some days will be harder than others and there will be times when you can't imagine it could possibly get any worse. But trust me when I say that doesn't last forever. I made my son my reason for living and he was the drive and motivation behind everything I did. From finishing school, to working harder than everyone else at work until I got promoted to deciding to go back to school and get a masters, he is my motivation for all of it. It sounds like you have already put your baby first too so you are already on the road to being a wonderful mother. When I was in your shoes I NEVER imagined I would be where I am now, but here I am. It gets better Kaylaa. you may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet, but trust me it's there.

Lauren - posted on 06/13/2013

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If you do consider adoption, check into an open adoption where you still get to be a part of your child's life. This isn't for some people, but for others, it's a great option. Otherwise, stay strong. Every minute of struggle is worth it for that beautiful boy or girl that will come...give lots of love, set reasonable boundaries and be the example of what you want him or her to strive for...and take help when offered, say thank you always and rely on the support of great moms you know. You'll do great!

P.S. You're emotional right now being pregnant. Give yourself a bit of a break and time to process everything! :)

Danielle - posted on 06/13/2013

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I know how hard it is to think is my kid okay. I have a son that has dmd. And I can't have any more kids and all I want is to have another child. But a lot of girls out there do it on there own life is hard but it gets better. If u think about adoption email me @ sdcl2006@yahoo.com

Marilyn - posted on 06/12/2013

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I do want to say also, for those who say you can have more children later: Yes, that is true, but it does not erase this child. Putting it like that makes it sound as simple as getting a new puppy when it's more convenient. It can leave a child feeling like they weren't good enough to keep, and wonder what made the other, later children so special. That is not always the case, but one of my co-workers was given up for adoption as a baby and while she now has a relationship with her birth mother, it is rocky for that very reason.

If you want to adopt out your daughter, there are many loving families who would welcome her into your home, but I still believe strongly that a child will thrive best with her own mother who loves and wants her, no matter how difficult the circumstances. Pray and think about this, and you know you can count on all of us for support here.

Haylee - posted on 06/12/2013

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I was 16 and pregnant as well, facing everything you say. I was even 6 months pregnant when the father of my baby cheated on me and left us. We went through a lot, but what you are feeling is normal. What helped me is I made a decision that was best for me. Sounds selfish but I kept my baby. I thought about adoption for a long time but once I found out it was a boy and could feel him, I knew he was mine to cherish. And when the dad did what he did I knew I could do it by myself without his help. There are lots of support groups in your community, some at your school, at church, the government, such as WIC or medicare. Being a teenage mom is frustrating, but you will get through it and you will cherish every moment and opportunity. I am now 20 and my son is almost 4. The father and I did get married, but it was rough. Him being a teenage dad wasn't easy either, he dropped out of school and worked at a fast food restraunt. He left us multiple times, but we are all scared. He came back and he loves us both so much. Let me know if you ever need anything.

Freddie Ann - posted on 06/12/2013

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At 16 you have your whole life ahead of you and right now you have many conflicting thoughts going through your mind. With your youth and education being where it is and not having a stable relationship at this time. You should really think about the life of your cherished baby. I was adopted and am so grateful to have been given the chance to be raised and given a life with two parents who loved me and raised me with a chance to know who I am and to respect others and have an opportunity to go to college...not that a single parent can't do all of that but it is certainly easier for a two parent family to do it and certainly easier for a young girl to advance herself in life if she isn't trying to raise a child and go to school at the same time. These days there are many ways to adopt and with families willing to have open adoption, giving your baby up for adoption doesn't have to mean never seeing her again. But it can mean she will have a road to a better life. Pray and see if that might just be the road your baby is looking for. I know several families that are looking for a baby in their life. They are wonderful families with much love to share...your baby would truly be blessed in either of their homes. I know there are many more just like them!

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2013

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follow your heart.
There is some excellent advise down there.
My advice would be to try to sit with your self, calm your mind and your heart put the fear aside for a few moments and in your stillness you will find your answer. all the answers for our own selves is with in us, we just have to listen. Don't expect to hear the answer straight away, try this for a week or more. sit in the dark, sit in the park, by a river, in your room, on the roof, sit where ever you find that you are closest to your higher self/god/your soul. find some peace in jsut relaxing and allowing your thoughts to come and go. you are the only one who knows whats best for you. so know that, hear that and feel that.
seek advice and support while you do this. as it will only help you find your clarity.

I am 30 years old and just had my first, jsut as unexpectedly as your self. lucky for me i was with my boyfriend who I was, for the most part, sure i wanted to be with. but he is an australian resident and we have only known each other for 2 1/2 years. no matter what age there are challenges. and even at 30 the first 2 months was very hard.
A new baby is life changing, challenging, fun, exhilarating, and a blessing for sure.

Remember you have the answer to the path you are to follow in this life. everything that happens to us has a purpose and a reason for our personal growth. relax, seek support and follow your heart.
wishing you the all the best kayla.

Mary - posted on 06/11/2013

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Kayla, put some serious thought into letting a husband and wife who have wanted a child for so long and can't have one themselves raise her. She could be a huge blessing in their lives. I have four children. Two came from my body and two we adopted. Our oldest son and his wife had a baby the first year they were married and that is all the babies that came to them until my grandson was 15 and they were able to adopt a baby girl. I hope you will do this. Then you can finish school, get a higher education, marry and have a family. This is exactly what the bio-mom of my youngest did. She was 15 when he was born. She finished high school, went to college, now works in a hospital. She is married and has three more children. Think about it. : )

User - posted on 06/11/2013

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KaylaaMechele...

Please go to Crisis Pregnancy center....they offer a world of help to young ladies like yourself. Please don't make any decisions until you speak with some professionals. They can guide you and make you feel so much better about the fact you're going to be a MOM! This is a wonderful time for you, regardless of your age...look for support from people who understand. I am praying for you and your upcoming little one!
Sharon

Joy - posted on 06/11/2013

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Kayla, I have read your posts and others' responses. This is a tough decision. The post telling you to think about the future is right on target. You and Anna's daddy need to finish high school and get further education, whether it is a 4 year college degree or 2 year associates degree or a certificate from a technical college program. Education equals opportunities.

I also agree with the post about seeking help with churches. Often they have members who are willing to help or can connect you with reputable agencies. For example, I'm in the public school system so I have the summers off. I have helped two young girls get their GED. I could also help with baby sitting over the summer. We have elderly members that would pay for services they can't do like cooking, cleaning, cutting the grass, etc.

Adoption is a blessing to so many families. I tried for 8 years before I got pregnant. I've always wanted to be a mommy. We would adopted if I hadn't finally gotten pregnant. Remember that you are young and will probably be able to have more children. We will probably gave to adopt to have more.

Pray and ask God to give you a sign about what to do. If you don't know God, ask someone to tell you about his amazing love and what He has done in his/her life. I pray God blesses you throughout your life, but especially through your upcoming decisions.

Charlotte Gebauer - posted on 06/11/2013

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Kayla, I just saw your post and read some of the replies. How supportive most of them are!

Yes, raising a baby is difficult, but resources exist to help young girls such as you. I don't know where you live or I'd make more specific suggestions. However, I would recommend that you try to get to the nearest pregnancy counseling center. (Some of them are called PASS centers.) These counseling centers will help you work through the decisions you have to make, provide for your immediate needs, and continue to assist when your baby is born. I don't want to start a war here, but I would not go to Planned Parenthood; they are highly slanted toward abortion because it is their main source of profit. Wherever you go, don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that violates your conscience or that your gut tells you is not what you want for you and your baby.

Our daughter became pregnant. Although her circumstances were somewhat different, this child has become the light of our lives, especially since mom and baby
lived with us for six years. I don't know your parents and don't want to minimize your discomfort with them, but grandbabies can make a huge difference in relationships--not always, but often. Also, please don't dismiss adoption out of hand. The daughter I spoke of is ours by adoption; so is her sister. Many, many adoptees have had wonderful childhoods and loving relationships with their adoptive families. As with anything involving people, adoption doesn't always work, but then neither do the relationships between biological children and their parents.

If you are religious, try to place your burden before your Lord and let Him help you. If you have a sympathetic teacher or friend's parent to whom you can go, then do it. Most people are loving and helpful; even if they can't figure out what to do, they might be able to point you toward resources you can use.

Stay strong, young lady. God bless and protect you and your wonderful baby.

Sharma - posted on 06/11/2013

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I too was a teenage parent. It is hard. Harder than you can probably fathom at this point. Loving Anna is of course the most important part of parenting, but that is just the very beginning. Parenting requires supporting a child financially, emotionally, and educationally. It requires being a role model. It requires tireless sacrifice. It requires patience and fortitude.

Imagine your life 2 years from now. 5 years. 10. Where do you see yourself? Where do you see Anna? What do you envision? Will you be a high school graduate? What sort of job will you have? Will you attend a trade school or college? How do you plan to achieve these goals? Where will you live? Can you break the cycle of your own dysfunctional childhood and offer a better life for Anna?

Imagine Anna's life 2 years from now. 5 years. 10. Where will Anna live? Who will watch her during the day while you go to school or work? Are there good schools in your area? Will she play piano? Will she take swimming classes? What do you hope for her life? How do you envision her life when she is 16? Will she have the tools she needs to get a good start in life? Perhaps go to college?

Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. If you can envision a life in which you and Anna are both happy, then work toward that. Whether that means raising her yourself or adoption.

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