I'm sixteen, pregnant, and feaking terrified .

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/10/2013 ( 23 moms have responded )

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Idk what I'm going to do. My mom can't stand my baby's father now an she's gonna try everything to keep him from seeing him and doesn't want him to have anything to do with us . He is being amazing he's there for me when most people would've left . She scaring him away or she gonna push to hard and he's gonna leave. And I have no clue how I'm going to do this . My mom is trying to run my pregnancy and be the mother to my baby and she's not she's barley a mom to me she's not gonna do that to my baby. I just I'm scared and idk what to do :(

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Dana - posted on 06/13/2013

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Get emancipated your mom is toxic and doesn't even know it. Go straight to career school. It is time to start your own healthy family composed of yourself, your baby, and your baby's daddy. You must be a grown up for your baby he/she did not choose to come into this world, but you and his/her father made that choice for him/her. Take parenting at the hospital where you are going to give birth, go to WIC, go to every helping young mothers you can find, they are there to help. Dedicate to breastfeeding and insist on it, because if you are going to do this, you must be all in. That mindset will make you the best rockin' mother no matter how old or young you are. If your mom is not on board, sail your own ship.

Haylee - posted on 06/12/2013

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I can relate to you pretty nicely. I was teen mother as well, had my son at 16. I lived with my parents as well after he was born and my mother tried to take over. By 5 months of it I left my mother and went and lived with the baby's daddy. His parents would not let him come stay the night to help me (hence they were teen parents as well, very selfish). Anyways, since then I have gotten married and I got diagnosed with depression as well. I am on wellbutrin AND citolapram. ask your doctor if you need anything stronger, it also could be your hormones acting crazy to conteract the meds. My husband (the father) left plenty of times because he was 16, he didnt want to be a responsible adult at 16. It was hard, he loved him but he wasnt ready to take on the responsiblity. He is now, and you can see the change you will go through and your bf as well. Everything happens for a reason and don't let anyone tell you how you should raise your baby. It's your baby. How I took a stand to that with my husbands mother was i gave my child my last name and told her if her son and i get married later I will change his last name. make sure your voice is heard. You can do it. I graduated high school and college at the same time only being 18, so I know that anything is possible. look for support groups as well, with churches, schools, the government. get on WIC and medicare so you know that you are in control and not your mother. It's a bumpy ride, but thats how life is! let me know if you need anything!

Nathu - posted on 06/11/2013

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Hey sweetie:

First, calm down. Angelina Jolie used to cut herself when she was younger than you but she turns out real fine too. So, you will be fine.

In addition to the other's encouraging mom's reply, how old is your bf and does your bf's parent know anything about your pregnancy? Are they good parents and can they help you too? Have you consider that?

If the two of you are young, and your bf is a responsible person, you can check to see what kind of financial and medical assistance you can get from the state, county or city to help you through this period.

Do not spend money on new clothes - go to 2nd hand shops. They are cheaper and clean. Wash them again before letting your child wears them. Also, you need to start cutting coupons because they will save you a bundle, especially on disaposable diapers and milk powder, which can be expensive for teenagers your age, and if you dont have any income.

Ask around friends and neighbors if they have infant and children's clothes that they dont need. Most will be glad to give these to you. Go online and read up as much as you can about parenting, take a parenting class, read up on child development, what to eat or not, exercises, including every stages of child growth to prepare yourself to become a better mom. Go to 2nd hand bookstore or go to ebay or amazon and see if you can 2nd hand books as well, or go to the local library and borrow them. The more you know and is prepared, the less scared you will be, OK?

It may be difficult the first 12 months or so, but hang on, be positive, and you will be fine. Now buying can baby food like Gerbers or other brands can be expensive, so make your own.

Please be aware that you cannot feed your baby honey before s/he is 3 (to be on the safe side). I know telling you this is way ahead, but better to know this.

Finally, do not let anyone bullying you into doing anything you don't want. If your mom wants to play a big part in your child's growth, then perhaps a compromise can be reached. She cannot forbid you not to see the baby's father, unless he is underage. She can go to court to have custody of your baby. Therefore, it's better to work with your mom, if possible.

Good luck to you.

23 Comments

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KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/20/2013

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My boyfriend hasn't left me and our baby he doesn't plan to either . He got a job and is saving all the money for when she gets here and so he buy a lawyer to fight my mother so he can see our baby . And move out is a lot harder than it sounds my mom has to agree to let me move out for me to leave .

Misty - posted on 06/17/2013

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I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend left you, it might have been for the best, glad to hear everything turned out good. Just take it day by day. ;0)

Hailey - posted on 06/16/2013

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I just went with the flow and withe the little support and guidance I made it. Although not even a year later my boyfriend left me but I did it.

Misty - posted on 06/15/2013

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Hey Kayla, I understand what you are going through, I got pregnant when I was 18 and my parents were trying to do the same thing, they wanted me to raise my baby by myself and the father could come see the baby when ever he wanted, but I pretty much just told them that he wanted to be apart of our lives and not to many boys want to stay and help even though it is there responsibility also. I know you are only 16 and yes it is a little scary but things will get better, because it did with me I eventually married my baby's father and we have been together almost 15 years. Just need to have faith and pray that things get better for you and your family. Your mom loves you and she is just trying to do what's best, you are her baby in her eyes. Hope everything turns out for the best.

Grace - posted on 06/14/2013

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Hello- i too was a young mum- it is pretty scary isn't it! I was 14 years old when i first grew pregnant with my Hugo (now six) i gave birth at 15, ( by the way it was forced sex not out of choice..) Anyway, try to talk to your mum on a serious level about how you feel and that you really want to be a mum to your baby and that you and your boyfriend want to raise your kid happily. Hopefully she'll understand... heads up :)

Tina Marie - posted on 06/13/2013

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I agree with the other ladies. Yes, you will be fine, millions and millions of other parents have survived this and much much worse throughout the centuries.

I would add going to the library and learn all you can on budgeting, homemaking, living on one income, frugal lifestyle ect. Plus you can get free stuff in the mail by searching and signing up for Gerber and other brand websites. The library has other amazing resources besides free computers, classes ect.
Join a teen mother group, Mops, meet and ask for mentors.
Perhaps your mother is not communicating herself nicely, and she has all of her own fears, mistakes and concerns of failures in her mind as well as yours.
Write a mission plan for yourself. Things to do in the next two years. If you want others to treat you as an adult and with respect, then you must prove you are and treat them with such.
Keep a journal and include what you do daily as well. Then on the days you feel the worst you can look back and remind yourself of what you are actually accomplishing. (It really helps you when others say you are lazy or not moving forward too. ;) for ex: Does your mother see you doing nothing with your boyfriend when he visits or does she see the two of you researching details for a future? Education, careers, budgeting, grocery lists, loans ect.? Daily routine stuff that you would be responsible for on your own, that you will be very very soon.

The only real effective changes will occur in others begin when you begin making those changes yourself.

Good luck and we wish you well.

Tina Marie - posted on 06/13/2013

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"I went into labor during science class." THAT, is awesome! I love reality! Kudos for you!

Linda - posted on 06/12/2013

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I know exactly what youre going through im 17 just had my son annd my mom all of a sudden doesnt like my bf , she blames him for everything says hes stealing me away && ruining my relationships with my family wich isnt true they all are just pushing me away. But let me tell you this you and your boyfriend can do it if you really love eachother youll stick together and find comfort in talking to eachother about the hard times I know it sucks cause this is when you want him around but just know it will get better

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/11/2013

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Hailey, I'm inspired by you!! Can you explain how you managed through being such a young mom? How did u get through the tough times? Id love to hear how you managed to make it all work out

Hailey - posted on 06/11/2013

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Sweetheart don't be so terrified because I gave birth at 14 and I'm okay. I went into labor during science class.

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/11/2013

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He turns eighteen in December . He is responsible. His dad is completely supportive and loves me. And he hasn't seen his mom since he was six months old .

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/10/2013

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My aunt is gonna watch while I'm at school and I have but I have to have surgery in October so my doctor said it be best just to bottle feed

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2013

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If you plan on keeping the baby then go out and buy a few cute outfits ( they are just as good second hand). I know this always put me in a wonderful mood seeing all the sweet little baby things at the stores. You can get help from the government for many of the essential needs of a baby, and second hand stores are great for Low income families. If there's a will there's a way

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2013

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Tell her your desire to be a good mother. Tell her you want to learn and succeed and the only way of that being feesable is if she takes a back seat. No one can take away your rights as a mom regardless. Have you considered breastfeeding? It will give you an amazing bond with your child . Use your moms bad attitude as motivation to prove her wrong! She can't say anything if you show her that your responsible and are willing to step up to the plate. I know it seems overwhelming but it is possible for you to be a mother to your child. It will take selflessness and the willingness to grow up fast on your part but you will reap so many rewards too. Is there any where else you could raise your child so your mom isn't too much involved? A family member or your boyfriends family?

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/10/2013

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I have she put me on Wellbutrin but I've read things about it end I don't think it's working really and I know my mom wants to help but she thinks I'm unfit to do anything . And honest it hurts my feelings and when I tell her it does she throws my past in my face and says well that hurt my feelings .

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2013

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If you have need someone to talk to your more then welcome to email me at dmemmiegirl78@gmail.com. I had my daughter at 21 and am now 24 with my second child. I did plan my pregnancies but I had moments of absolute terror ( I think every first time mom does). Talk to a dr too if you feel your depression getting out of hand bc the life growing inside you needs you to be healthy mentally

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2013

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You will be ok sweetheart. I know your scared but just remember that there are many other mothers who had there kids young and succeeded. If your boyfriend is what you think he is then he won't go anywhere no matter how your mom feels about him. No one could stop my husband from being in his kids life and you have all the rights when it comes to your baby. You should speak kindly to your mom and explain that your so happy that she wants to be involved in the baby's life , but she needs to let you be the mother bc that's what your child needs. Your child also deserves a father and unless he proves to be an unfit parent then she can't interfere with this. Once you have your child, and you feel this overwhelming love that you never thought possible you will be able to see where your moms coming from more too. She's terrified right along with you. She sees her baby struggling and that will break any moms heart. When the baby comes make SURE you don't rely too heavily on your moms assistance or this will only encourage her behavior of trying to be mom instead of grandma. My mom had me at 17 and she made it. Motherhood is the most amazing experience in life and the power of sheer love is what will keep you going when you think you can't go no more. Good luck honey and God bless

KaylaaMechele - posted on 06/10/2013

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And I've been dealing with depression since I was young and it's just getting worse I'm honestly scared of myself cause I used to cut and I don't want to do that anymore because idk even know how I'm gonna explain them to my daughter when she's older . I'm just lost .

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