I'm so over this!

Amanda - posted on 10/16/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been a stay-at-home mom for 2 years now. I just started working from home, very part time, very little pay. I keep getting into this mood (lasts for days, sometimes weeks) where I don't want to clean anymore! I usually resolve to clean my house by the end of the day, but I always have to force myself into it. I am 37 years old and have worked almost everyday leading up to this 2 year sabbatical. I always loved to clean my house, being a little OCD, it was kind of an obsession. Now I do it every day and really have to convince myself to do it. It feels so repetitive and I never get the sense of accomplishment that I used to, not to mention pointless (I mean really how dirty can the kitchen floor really get when no one is in there).
The worst part of the whole thing, is I really don't have anything better to do. I find TV boring and there's only so much internet surfing you can do before you want to pluck your own eye balls out for wasting so much time. I just don't want to clean anymore!
Please tell me that I am not alone, or being selfish, and by all means any advice to amp up my cleaning drive would be greatly appreciated.

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Amanda - posted on 10/16/2013

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Thank you for the pick-me-up. I have to let you in on something though, I wish it was postpartum depression, my children are 11 and 8. I actually think this adds to the laziness though. They aren't home all day. I also wish that I could let it go until the weekend , but partially due to my ocd and partially due to my husband's subtle hints that because I am home all day the house should be spotless. Either way I am soooo over picking up the same stuff everyday. I am really in a rut and just can't bring myself to clean it anymore.

Kathleen Sue - posted on 10/16/2013

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Hi Amanda. I had to laugh when you said "why clean the kitchen when no one goes in there!!!" I have found that I clean better with more sense of purpose when someone is coming to visit, and I don't want them to see my filth. You also sound like you are starving for some "girl talk, adult talk" something more than baby blab. I wonder if you could schedule some friends or family during the day which might kickstart the cleaning process and give you some adult time, perhaps while your young one sleeps?
I also know that I begin to feel better about myself, and I'm more at peace if my surroundings are uncluttered as well. Are things overwhelming? Have you let it go to the point that you are discouraged about where or how to dig yourself out? You are questioning your self worth, as if staying at home is not a "real " job. But it is!!! Do you think things would be better if you brought home a paycheck? But then someone else would be rearing your child, and perhaps cleaning your home for you, and you would then feel bad that those tasks were outsourced while you worked.You would then feel that your value was only as a paycheck.
SOOOO.....don't clean every day.Straighten..make the bed, do the dishes, start some laundry.Is it financially feasible for you to hire a weekly housekeeper? If not, then give yourself the ok to NOT clean until Friday,say, and then get it done so you have a clean space for the weekend,and through the week you'll just do general things.I think you are possibly depressed, the post-partum blues.Love who you are today...A mom, a wife, and be proud of all that you are and do each day, not who you are not.

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