I'm the new wife/stepmom

Maleaha - posted on 07/31/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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ever since my fiance's ex found out we are getting married she has had us in court every week for a new issue. the child support has gone from 545.00 to 1850.00 plus he pays all the dr bills extra curricular activities and numerous other things. His total gross income is 3675.00 that is before taxes also we put 140.00 per child (2) in a bank acct. My future husband also gets calls all week about paying electric bills or things that she cant afford he doesnt want to but she always uses the statement the children are doing without becasue of us. we gave a total of 2250.00 this month plus bought all school suplies and other things. I have a 17 yr old his children are 3 and 5 is it wrong to say no enough is enough? I dont want any of the children including my own to go with out but we have taken out loans to make sure the ex's home is comfortable. She has pictures of all her vacations without the children on her facebook, yet we have no visitation with the kids. the court order is supervised visitation by the ex's mother and the mother shows up 15-25 min late and leaves early all the time... the supervised was due to my fiance was military and had PTSD yrs ago and it was valid at that time.... he took meds to sleep and fight anxiety none of this is true anymore we plan to go back to court but what suggestions do you all have? I have always just taken what my daughter has given or done it alone Is it unfair for me to just put my foot down and insist on no more loans and harm to our family just to make sure she lives abover her means. we are still searching for a family court attorney in KY

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Children Of The Popcorn - posted on 06/25/2015

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In court, IF he adopts your children or you both have kids together in your home. Those kids are first priority. The courts should recognize that and if you are pulling out loans to pay her or your bis then you must go back in and have things looked at again. My husband made about gross 3600-4k a month and we are forking over about 900.00. Part of this is alimony that we won't pay forever. If she complains about the kids not having power than offer to take them and she deals with her lack of utilities. Maybe the courts will see she isn't handling things responsibility or at least not the money you give her. Offer and ask to take the children when ever you can and take over nights as well. It would help your case and document everything. Keep text and conversation.

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Ah honeey this woman knows your man is suffering guilt and she is playing on it. Yes it's absolutely time for it to stop!! He's paying his child support and she is just as responsible for the children's well-being as he is. He needs to bite the bullet. She will play on it and probably take you back to court a few more times but eventually the court wills ee it for what it is and she will probably be reprimanded for wasting the courts time- let her call her own bluff I say. Your fiance has to put a stop to this or it will go on for YEARS, trust me on this.

JuLeah - posted on 07/31/2010

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K,



It sucks, it's not fair, and it's not okay .... and, it is largely between him and his ex.



You have choices. You can keep your money separate.



You can have a joint account with him and your own money that is separate



Keep searching for an attorney and maybe you will get some help there, but really, no one ever wins when you go to court - the kids suffer most of all



Mediation? Take her out for lunch, get to know her, befriend her, get her on your side .... sounds like her reaction might be based on fear .... don't know her, but most behavior like this is based on fear - what are her fears?



You can yell and bang your head on a wall at the unfairness of all of this, and it is, I say again, unfair. But, all that will happen is that you will get a sore throat and a headache.



Document - get an expert to say he has the symptoms of PTSD under control ..... that will help if you do opt to go the court route, but given the age of the children, you really might do better to find a way to get along with her - you have a lot of years ahead of you ..... Good luck

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