I'm worried about my daughter

Belle - posted on 01/18/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok so I was cleaning my 12 year old daughter bedroom and I came across her diary wide open I was about to close it until something caught my eye. It said something about her cutting herself ! That made me so sad that she has been cutting while I her own mother was unaware . I couldn't just let it go so I carried on reading. I had to. I turned the page and there was a list of websites one was called pornhub. Well no guess what that websites for. I got very annoyed ... not at her...at the situation and I don't know what to do,

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Jodi - posted on 01/18/2015

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If she is cutting, you need to look on her for evidence. On the arms (in particular wrists) is the most common place and many kids who do this cover up by always wearing long sleeves, even when it is warm. However, others will cut in places that you will never see it. Has there been any obvious behaviour to hid parts of her body from you recently?

Maybe what you could do is sit down and have a chat with her. Let her know you didn't mean to read her diary, but she left it wide open on a page that said she was cutting and you couldn't not see that while you were cleaning her room (don't mention that you went on to read further). Discuss the cutting with her, and suggest to her that you will get her some counselling. Let her talk to you about why she does it, etc. Whatever you do, don't get mad at her. Let her know you are listening and you care.

As a mandated reporter, I have had to report cutting behaviour to child protection in the past, and their role is to ensure that there is counselling and support in place for that child and their family, so counselling is seen as a necessity here. This IS a situation where child protection could potentially become involved if it is reported, so it is best that you put support measures in place now and ensure your daughter is getting all the help she needs.

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Belle - posted on 01/18/2015

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Thank you this is really helpful and I'm going I spoke to her this morning and she told me everything. She has agreed to see a counsellor because she admits that's she needs help.

Chrissie - posted on 01/18/2015

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I would bring her to talk to a therapist. As mom's we always want our childeren to come to us with everything but the truth is they are not going to and she may be mad at you at first and may not open up to the therapist at first but gradually she will and your daughter will learn how to deal with the things that are bothering her instead of keeping it all in and cutting herself for release but the therapist will give her tools to deal with things. I know as a mom all we want is to hold them tight and never let go. Don't blame yourself just get her help and maybe find a group for yourself also. My prayers are with you for your daughter, yourself and your whole family.

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