Marie - posted on 03/14/2014 ( 20 moms have responded )
We dated for 3 years before getting engaged. I cant even count how many times I was abused during that time. But I always forgave. We got married in 2012 &the physical abuse lessened, while the emotional abuse increased.
In August of 2013 he beat me pretty bad (tackling me, choking me, yanking my hair, constant hits in my face while I was driving). That night I packed my bags to leave. As I was packing, he tackled me and held his hands over my mouth &nose until I nodded to signal I would stay and talk. I hate that I didn't stick to my guns and leave.... But I'm weak & embarrassed.
Fast forward to now... I'm 5 months pregnant and he has been physical in the past month (open hand slapping me in the face & then grabbing both sides of my head & shaking). But EVERY day is mental and emotional abuse. Threatening texts, name calling, yelling, getting nose to nose in my face and shouting.
I'm terrified of him. i'm too embarrassed to tell my family & would never dream of telling my friends.
I cry daily. I wish we never got pregnant and often think about running far away before I deliver ... But I don’t want to devastate my parents.
He has worn me down so much over these past (almost) 5 years, that I can't even imagine functioning on my own. I just can't imagine birthing an innocent child into the hell hole of my life.
I'm not looking for pity, because I know I don't deserve any - I'm in my situation by my own accord. I just needed to vent and know I'm not alone.