I met my GF in Feb 2012. We started having sex and lots of it from late March to June of that year. She had started a new job in April and I moved to live with her in the end of May. Over the next few months till now sex has tappered off to the maybe once a month. I have always been super patient with her and in the Fall of 2012 she told me she had been abused by her older brother when she was entering puberty as a pre-teen. Just yesterday she said she really enjoyed our sex life when we were new and had met each other. In the winter of 2013 and again this summer she tells me its nothing to do with me. She says her job is always on her mind and due to the sexual abuse from her brother she says thats a strong reason she does not really enjoy sex. She also says she wants a man in her relationship to be happy with her and sex not be the focus of the relationship. Now in her early forties like I, she says she is done with relationships in the past of having sex as the focus of the relationship. I tell her with us its not. She told me when I'm too needy around her for simple affections, that attention I give her becomes annoying and sex just gets further from her mind. I try to leave her alone afection-wise, yet after a few days I just need a simple hug or a kiss. I try not to be a bother. I have told her sex to me is just not sex but the feeling of closeness and intimacy. She says she hopes her sexual desires will return and if I can't handle it I can go look for someone else. That hurts! The last thing I want to do is leave our relationship. I want our sex life to return. I have no problem masaturbating and thinking about her. Now its been nearly 2 months and I don't know what to do. So I thought I'd look on line before I go see a counselor. Anyone have a partner with a similar story. I think advice from ladies here with simliar past may know what I can do.
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Corey - posted on 08/26/2013
Also I should add she hurt her back in Fall 2012 and the results were gaining 50+ lbs so since then she feels very unattractive and refers to romantic gestures as gross. And today I asked where all our candles are stored and she replied don't do anything romantic. She said "I'm tired of that and its just not me anymore". Later tonight she though I had came naked out of the bedroom so I joked about what is going on in her subconcious and we both laughed. I then switched the topic to out fav tv show and started watching it.
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