I need advice?

Desi - posted on 01/19/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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So im going back to work next sunday and that will be 6 weeks since I gave birth to my daughter my husband works nights I work days so we will rarely need a babysitter but things are already hard for my husband and I with taking care of the baby the house etc we barely get sleep now. Whats going to happen when I go back anyone go threw a similar situation and have any advice?

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Heather - posted on 01/20/2012

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Oh no darling! For sure it will be difficult. Now my 3 kids never slept through the night by 6 weeks. Every child is different. But I do have a suggestion. Have you ever thought of maybe talking to a teenage babysitter in your area. Even if she came by for a few hours after school until you arrived home from work that would giveyour husband a few solid hours of sleep and maybe she could do some light cleaning. Or do you have a Moms sitting club in your area. Where other mothers exchange watching each others kids for free?? That way there is no real out of pocket cost to you.

Wishing you all the best it will be very hard but you will pull through you and your hubby just love each other when it gets hard.

Janice - posted on 01/21/2012

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I'm sorry to hear you have to return to work so soon. I will be in a similar situation when I start looking for a job but I am waiting till my son is 4 months old.

Anyways, I agree with others that you shouldn't stress keeping the house clean. Start buying disposable plates and cups to cut down on dishes. Hiring a teenager in the afternoon so that your hubby can sleep is a great cheap idea.

Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2012

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Yes, I live in that world. My husband works nights. During the day he sleeps. Yes, he's home. No he's not awake. That may work for awhile, but it not good for the long run. If I had worked outside the home, we would of had to hire daycare. As it was I operated a home daycare for those years. Adults need sleep to function too.

Hollie - posted on 01/21/2012

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I am mom to a 16 year old & a 4 year old & my life is still crazy. The 2 places I've failed most are NOT ASKING FOR HELP & POOR ROUTINE. I only work part time outside of the home & does it mean I fail = we have to dig our own matching socks from the basket of socks? No it just means we appreciate it more when matched socks magically appear. There will be plenty of days you fail to clean, cook, pay bills, read books, even shower. But there's always tomorrow! It won't make your family love you any less. To your baby you are the greatest momy in the work no matter how many baskets of folded clothes are piling up. Good luck! Lower your own expectations so you don't beat you or your hubby up cuz great good fair or bad y'all are doing it.

Sherri - posted on 01/20/2012

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Sorry not sure of any newborns that were sleeping through the night at 6wks Donna.



I won't lie it will be stressful but if you guys are determined you guys will somehow make it work. I agree with some of the others leave the housework other than the necessities till the weekends. Try and sleep as much as possible when the baby does and really try to make time for you and your husband too.

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Natalie - posted on 01/28/2012

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hi there,



don't worry sleep is over-rated! are you nursing your daughter?

I would say co-sleep with her so you can bond as much as possible when you are with her.

Sherri - posted on 01/23/2012

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@Kate I have bought months worth of diapers from Amazon for this baby too. I have all I need in every size until size 4 and I only paid pennies.

Roshellan - posted on 01/22/2012

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I had my baby nov 27 after 2 weeks was able to do stuff but took it a day at a time been ready myself to go back to work but I to feel the same way youll know when to return to work it'll just feel right kinda spure of the moment type thing the only thing I can realy say is ask for help when you need it soak in the tub if you feel stressed camamille helps to burn it like incence soak in it in the tub your skin will feel a bit softer or sip on it as tea of course I've got 4 kids now 8 and under and the babys slept all night since we brought her home but I wake her every 2 1/2 -3 hours to eat and take it one day at a time jot down your schedule for a 24 hour span and goal list it'll all work out

Kate CP - posted on 01/22/2012

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Actually, the cheapest place to buy diapers if you do disposables is amazon.com



Sign up for amazon moms and you can get scheduled shipping of diapers at a 20% discount. If you sign up for Prime shipping ($75 a year) you get an additional 5% off, I think AND free 2-day shipping on qualifying purchases. This is how my family has saved TONS on diapers and wipes. And we don't have to worry about late night "Oh crap, we're out of diapers now what?" issues. :)

Amy - posted on 01/22/2012

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Hey, Desi. First, I want to say congratulations on the birth of your daughter. It is such an amazing thing to be a Mom, so no matter what happens in the next few days/weeks, it will ALL be worth it. I've found that everyone's experience is different, so it is hard to take others' advice. However, there are some very good ideas on here, I agree with asking family or friends for some help. If there's ANYone you can trust, I would ask them. They love you, so they would be willing to help. Every new mom needs help. Even if it's just for an hour. You've got to take things day by day. Prioritize things in your day. The house....it will be there. You'll get to it. Don't let it stress you. And this is coming from someone who is OCD. Most importantly, take care of yourself and your baby. It will take a little while for you to get used to the "new normal" of your life working while being a mom, but don't give up hope...it WILL be okay. Thousands of moms have gone or are going through the same thing, myself included. All that matters is the love in your life. Focus on that and you ALL will be fine. Good luck. I'll be praying for you ; )

Brianna - posted on 01/21/2012

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I'm guessing you don't have Paid Family Leave in the state in which you live. :-( Here in CA, I was able to take 4 weeks before my due date, 6 weeks for Maternity Leave (AKA: Disability) and another 6 weeks of PFL. If I wanted to, I could take up to 6 months off (some not paid) and my employer would have to hold my job. My husband can even take up to 6 weeks of PFL. Have you looked into it? I guess I didn't think about how lucky I was to have those options.

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2012

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I empathize with all of you moms......12 month maternity leave is given for us moms in Canada. I can not imagine that returning to work is healthy for mom/dad/or baby. My heart aches just to think this is what you are faced with. Our hormones are just settling in at this point. You're all survivers!!

Megan - posted on 01/21/2012

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My sister and her husband have a similar situation and they had to have help via MIL but said its all about routine and time management. Make the most of every second. Best of luck.

Amy - posted on 01/20/2012

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Donna people do what they need to do, my husband is responsible for the kids during the day and he works till 2 in the morning. He gets home at 3 and probably doesn't get to sleep till closer to 4, he naps when the baby naps and sleeps in on my days off.



I didn't go back quite as early as 6 weeks but with my first I was back by 10. He was not sleeping through the night, the house work suffers. We do what we do to get by. I put a load of laundry in before I leave and switch it to the dryer when I get home. I try to prepare large meals that can be frozen for other meals down the line, and lunches the next day. If you have extra money you can hire a babysitter to come in one day a week maybe Wednesday afternoon so you can do some mid week cleaning so you dont have to spend your entire weekend off trying to clean.



Good luck I know it's not easy but my husband and I managed in virtually the same situation as you so it's possible you just have to cut yourself some slack for the house work.

Jessica - posted on 01/20/2012

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I get you... with my first, I went back when he was 6 weeks (I didn't have a choice, I was starting a new job). We were in the same situation, fortunately my husband was able to switch to a day job.



I would suggest finding either a nanny or even a part time daycare/sitter. That way, you have someone to watch the baby in the morning when your husband first gets home from work (and you are first leaving) so he can at least get 5-6 hours of sleep in order to function not only while caring for your child but also at work the next night.



As a mom, while it isn't fair that you have to work all day, and then care all night for the child, not only do you get used to it because they grow to sleep in longer stints (plus, believe me, you learn to sleep even while they are eating), and eventually to through the night. Another thing to remember, sleeping "through the night" does not necessarily mean 8 hours... if they sleep between 4-5 hours in a stint, celebrate!



Good luck and I hope it all works out!

Monique - posted on 01/20/2012

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Not everyone has the option of sitting on they butts. Have you seen the economy? Honey it can be done and not all babies sleep on they own by 6 weeks, who are you dr Spock? The nerve of you give her some support her husband can get some sleep while the baby sleep people been doing it for centuries. This is some bs

Donna - posted on 01/20/2012

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How is your husband going to sleep if you are at work? Do you have to go back so soon? Do you have any family members that can help out? You can't survive on no sleep. Your baby should be sleeping at night by 6 weeks old.

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i waited for a few months before i went back to work. my daughter was about four or five months old before i went back. by that time it was easier on us since she was more mobile and didn't cry as much. but it helped a lot that we had family in the area.



if you have family or friends who'd be willing to help, you shouldn't hesitate to ask them! take them up on any offers to watch the baby because any breaks you can get, you definitely deserve them and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, especially since you are going back to work. it helps to have a date night too, so that you and hubby can have some time together to unwind and keep the stress levels down. keeping the stress down will help you soooo much, believe me.



as for the house, don't worry about it. it will still be there when you have the time and energy to mess with it all. just do what you can when you can and don't worry about what it looks like, you have a child and it's a given that people with kids have fairly messy houses unless they have maid service or are in movies, which usually means they have maid service anyway. so don't worry about the house.

Kellie - posted on 01/19/2012

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Oh WoW! I am amazed that you can return to work so quickly, I was only just beginning to feel human again 6 weeks after having my daughter, no way was I fit to work.



Is it possible for you to get a cleaner in a couple of times a week for a few hours? I know in my state I could get someone for 10 to 15 dollars an hour (That's Australian dollars) or another family member to help around the house until you get used to the routine of working and having a newborn.



That's really all I got..

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