I need advice about my baby daddy!!!

Shada - posted on 05/29/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son just turned 3 years old this May. I let his father come up here to see him since he hasnt seen him since he got out of prision in Aug. He was in prision since my son was 8 months old. I explained to him that he was not allowed to come to my house since I am married now and my husbands family is living with us. I have trust issues with him and disrespect issues. He does not understand the meaning of boundaries, has sexually harassed me, and has lied to me several times (that I have caught him telling me since he has been out). I do have a fear of him kidnapping my son since he lives 6 hours away He also has only paid his childsupport for 2 months and it is only 100.00 per month.

Anyway he came down here for the visit with some chick who I didnot know since he has a revoke license for DUI. I let him visit my son at the park here in town where I live for 2 hours the first day. It was probably the longest 2 hours of my life. He thought it was funny to keep getting in my personal space and decided that it was ok to just open my car for because he thought that my son needed to open the box of cars that he had bought for my son. I had put them in my car so he wouldn't lose of them.

So the next day I told him that he needed to meet me at my sons theropy session, and he didnt show up after I had called and texted him the time he needed to be there. So I called him when I got there and he said he just woke up. So I told him to go home. Then he decides to stake out my house and so I call the police for trespassing. Since he has no custody or visitation rights the police told him to leave.

My question is should I continue to deal with him and how because I have tried being nice, setting boundaries ect., or do I just let him take me to court to get visitation orders. . But he just does not seem to understand the fact that I have a life and do not want hiim in the middle of it.

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Stifler's - posted on 05/29/2012

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Your post is very vague. Was he in gaol for DUI or some other crime? Is he a good dad and just a creep to you because you broke up with him or was he abusing you when you were together and a shit father? Just because you're married now doesn't mean you can cut your sons dad out of it. Does your husband know about him if he's not allowed to come to the house because you're married and his family lives there?

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Shada - posted on 05/30/2012

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He was in prision for selling drugs and got out in Aug. He received the DUI the first week of May 2012 while on probation. He was abusive to me when we were together and sold drugs out of our house when we were together and would smoke K-2 (a substance that is like weed but sythetically made and was not illegal in the state of Kansas at the time) when he was at home with our son while I was working. I do understand that I do not have the right to cut my sons ties off with his father and that is not my intention. I feel it is my sons right to know his father and choose whether or not he wants him to be apart of his life. And yes my husband does know about him and we are both very open and communicate about the issue without any problems. I have asked my ex not to come to my house because I do not trust him to be civil and I do not like him poking his nose in my or my husband business. I feel that the things in my home besides my sons bedroom are of no concern to him and he does not need to be snooping around it. Any way I the last thing that I said to my ex was that if he wanted to see his son to take me to court because I am just tired of him thinking that he can do what ever he wants and he thinks that he can come down here see him for a couple of days and leave and not come here for a while and my son will be fine. I have tried to talk with him about visitation plans ect. and he wants it to be on his terms. Where I let him take my son to Missouri and stay with him weeks at a time. I do not think that that is a good idea. My son hardly knows his father and I explained to him that he should come up here 5 to 6 months in a row and see how that goes and then he might beable to take him back to Missouri for a weekend. He does not like this all he thinks I am trying to do is make him spend all of his money and hold him back from making it in the world... anyway hope this helps give you a better pic of things.

Shada - posted on 05/30/2012

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I have already taken him to court when he was in prision, and he received no visitation rights and I received both physical and legal custody of my son because of his incarceration at the time. The paper also states that he can reopen the case and it can be changed. I do not wish to because it costs more money then I have right at this moment in time.

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clearly he was trash before you chose to have his child. He's not going to change now. If he's violent, dangerous then no, don't let him see him. Go to ther courts to have any parental rights revoked.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/29/2012

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You take HIM to court for sole cusstody if that is what you want. If he does indeed get granted visitation rights, you can have that done through the courts with a court ordered supervisor of the visits (I don't remember what they are called...mediator?) but that is what you need to specify that you want done. Good luck. I do believe fathers have a right to their child, but if he is creating issues, you need to take the control of them.

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