I need advice on dealing with my daughters father

Lisa - posted on 05/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




we have never been together, I found out I was pregnant at 18.5 weeks, the short version of the story is, we found out in the August, and ended up deciding to try being together and moved in together in the December...2 days before I was due he came home from work telling me he wanted nothing to do with us and wasw moving to Australia (we were in nz) on his own...stress central for me. he then changed his mind but we were never close again. I found texts on his phone and proved he was seeing someone else, while I was in hospital after having her I found out he was in my bed with someone else....he then left for Aus after my daughter was home 4 days. I moved over to Aus in the May, deciding again it would be better for me to have him around and try again, me being from the UK meant I had no family near me, and was totally lost and scared with a new baby. Do i moved over, we lived together but slept in seperarte rooms, in the october his alcoho9lic mother turned up and within dayshe had canx my visa and closed our joint account..i was left with nothing and no way of flying home as had been unable to work due to viswa restrictions.....i moved in with a good friend and luckily was granted a work visa, so started working....it took him a month to get in touch and started seeing his daughter a few hours a week, but come better things for him to do, he dropped her like lead balloon. There was a week where she was sick and I had to take her too and from hospital due to dehydration, he didn;t come and help once, I had to get the bus as I had no car, he had better things to do...after a few months I saved enough to move into my own place, and got more work and we agreed to times he could see her, two nights at my place whiole I work and all saturday. come saturdays when he was hungover or just could not be bothered he would not show up,which meant I could not go to work. Anyway, to get a shorter version, he has let us down on many many occasions....now, he has moved further away and only sees her on a saturday, he has no friends and now lives on his own so wants to see her more but with us living further away he expects to come to my house and spend time with her....I don't want this as he is such a negative person and has abused me in the past, I don't feel comfortale with him anywhere near me. On saturday just gone, he was late dropping her off by 1.5 hours, and I had to wait around, he then locked my daughter in nthe care so he could argue with me. I know going to court would help but I just can not afford it and with him being a compulsive lier I am afraid a judge will take his side and I will have to let her go more...I am so so afraid he will continue to let her down through life as he has done so far....I do think of moving back to the uk but I know Australia is a better place for her to grow up. What advice can anyone give to get this man out of my life..


Sara - posted on 05/15/2013




I would just cut him out of her life. I know that sounds mean but he is acting like he doesn't want anything to do with her. And if he was abusive towards you I personally wouldn't let him near my daughter!

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