i need advice on disiplince. is there a way to disicpline a 12yr,6yr,4yr,3yr living in the same house equaly? all the kids feed off eachother so every discipine dont work. they all knowingly understand right from wrong so age isnt a factor. timeout failed the fastest.. please help!!

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

all the kids feed off eachother so every discipine dont work. they all knowingly understand right from wrong so age isnt a factor. timeout failed the fastest.. all the kids r out of control and the house is a zoo and as loud enough to loose hearing.the 12yr dont act her age. she acts like the other three and she has in the past . now she has seen the little kids get treated diff so she joined in but also picks on them in ways that arent seen or heard. the 6yr has a bad bad mouth and worse addittude. she tries to be a little mommy but a little too far but tells me she wants me dead. the 4yr is the golden child at preschool but the mask comes off at the threshold. he cries and super screames to get his way or what he wants. he will do something bad n look at you and laugh. the bad mouth is there to but diff type of words. he says the hate you, i dont like you, leave me alone stuff and not cussing like the 6yr. the 3yr gets worse everyday. hes the only one home all day and no school so he got more attention. now he fits right in w the others. the addittude is shocking from a 3yr. his mouth and dirty looks is worse than a adult. he also demands while screams to get what he wants. idk how many times ive heard im not mommys boy anymore,i dont like you when hes told no. i see the 4 have created a pattern. like i said they all feed off eachother. i know they pick up on what works and dont work regarding the different ages. this is such a problem a ten min trip to anywhere turns into atleast a hour. they are not trusted and are embarrsing in public but they cant stay home cause there wont be a house. my mom has tried to help me stick to diff dicipline ideas since the 12yr is my little sister and nothing works for all of them. when it dont work for one the others see that and it dont work for all. please help!!


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[deleted account]

I do stick to my guns on all the bad things they do. That's part of why my kids don't like me. I don't give in because it wont stop. I have attempted everything you said but the praise system. I have considered it. my kids are this cause me,my husband and kids live with 8 people which is my mom,sister,stepdad. We have been here 10mos due to no houses around. Rent is way to high and our credit is to bad to buy. My kids weren't like this 10mos ago. My sister is really my stepsister and I believe that's why she's not as important to my mom. She has ADHD. Other problems she has is a excuse my mom makes for her outburst w behavior. The first 6mos was so bad my sister should of been n a hospital/girls home. She's tried to kill my mom n takes advantage of her health n hearing. She plays ppl well n tried to play us against eachother. My kids picked up on everything. The main thing was the rude mouth and window breaking screams. My mom treats mine like gold n hers like dirt n she don't see it. Everything I've tried failed. My mom babied them, wouldn't follow me, criticized me for being mean and abusive emotionally and saved them when they did wrong. i gave up by sleepin, made no efforts at discipline or anything. I got criticized for that. I caused arguments confronting her which resulted w me n the kids kicked out. Its been a little better since. We still had arguments. Since school started we don't fight. We follow the other. We kinda Co parent. But that goes so far. My sister is 80% better because school started. my kids are doing what my sister did n the summer but its tripled. my sister is sneaky now.i found out yesterday She bullies my daughter on the bus and quietly picks on my boys. We start a punishment n it fails w my mom giving me the guilt trip which is always based on my kids age and they don't understand but she could kill my sister because she understands. Thats how she puts every situation. My kids mind when I'm not around or my mom but not us together. Sorry for the story.

S. - posted on 10/17/2012




If the 12 year old is your little sister I'd leave her behaviour down to your mother, you have enough on your plate with your little ones. At 6,4 and 3 there's no reason you can't straighten up there behaviour but it will be hard work, you need to be consistent, firm and do not give in and show weakness, praise the good and I mean really praise, give stickers out, have a ladder they climb and when they reach the top they get a little prize. As for the bad behaviour totally zero tolerance do warning, then naught corner/spot/room stick to it stay consistent!!! Once they realise they won't win you and you won't be beat they will change., if they start whilst your out find a naughty spot and keep up punisment there's been plenty of times iv Been stood out side a shop whilst my kids have been put in the naughty corner. Good luck!

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