I need an opinion

Karina - posted on 11/15/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm pregnant with my 4 th baby and I would like to ask some mom an opinion the kids father had told me he doesn't want the baby.but I'm NOT even gonna stressed it out I'm gonna do it on my own...what should I do after baby is born I really don't wAnt him involved after he told me that he's NOT gonna be responsible im confused at the moment


[deleted account]

If you are in the US, you can offer to let him sign his parental rights over to you once the child is born. This would relinquish all of his rights and responsibilities toward the child. That said, there are some stipulations. First, you can't force him to do it, he has to agree, but since he doesn't want the child anyway, it shouldn't be a problem. Second, you can't be married to him or living with him, so if you are, you need to file for divorce and get out asap. Third, sometimes the judge will not allow it--some judges are of the mindset that if a man makes a woman pregnant, he should share responsibility with the mother. If that happens, you may have to go to court more than once to get it to go through. Lastly, once his rights are signed over, he's done--you can never file for child support, visitation, etc.

Another thing to consider is the impact this arrangement will have on the children. If he intends to continue a relationship with his other 3 children, but not this child, it could be very traumatic for this child emotionally. Assuming that the other children have strong relationships with him, tearing them away from him would be traumatic for those three.

Honestly, the best thing for you to do is let him cool off then seek family counseling to help all of you come to terms with the new baby. Sometimes the thought of a 4th kid in an already busy and stressful relationship is scary for a man. That said, If he really hadn't wanted the 4th child, he wouldn't have been having sex with you, so he probably does want the child deep down, he's just stressed out right now.

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