i need help!!

Emily - posted on 12/05/2013 ( 24 moms have responded )

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Im a single mom of a one year old and i am currently pregnant. my kids dad abandoned us and i am stressing really bad. i am 20 yrs old lookibg for a job,childcare, and in need of a car. i have no help i dobt know anybody and my family is out of the question. im at the point were i feel lije giving up.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/10/2013

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Ladies, please look for real jobs. There is childcare assistance, transportation assistance, and food assistance available to those who qualify.

The only "real" work at home jobs are office jobs where you're allowed to work from home. You have to be hired on at a real company, with a physical interview, and then ask if you can work from home.

You'll be better off in the long run if you stop trying to look for "easy" ways to work from home (most, if not all are scams, pay very poorly, if at all...). Go down to your assistance offices, get on assistance, see what you qualify for in terms of child care, job training, etc, and get real jobs.

You will be happier with yourself, because you are honestly trying to provide for your kids. Your kids, as they grow up will be happier because momma is happy and momma is teaching them real skills to survive, rather than encouraging them to live off the system. Trust me. It seems daunting, but really, it's not.

You're both 20. 20! That, my dears, is WAY too young to NOT actually go out and take care of yourselves and your kids. Get the men on the hook for support orders, and get out there and learn how to make a living to support your families.

24 Comments

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LalaBoom - posted on 12/11/2013

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1. Go to your local HRA office.. This would be your first step.

I'm 100% sure you qualify for temporary assistance; welfare, food stamps, health insurance, childcare vouchers, job placement or school training.

2. Get yourself an education

Sngle moms get a lot of funding for school and school-related expenses. Whatever school you pick, speak to a financial aid advisor who can show you the ropes.

3. Take it one day at a time and re-evaluate how you make your choices

This is going to sound majorly judgemental- it isn't meant to be: You have a 1y/o and decided to proceed with a second pregnancy despite the fact that, a. dad isn't present, and, b. you have no job. Take an honest look at yourself and where you contributed to the situation, and make sure you don't make similar choices or ones that will aggravate your situation.

Good luck with everything!

Emily - posted on 12/10/2013

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Amen i feel u mine has an older child with someone else too. deadbeats for sure

Carmen - posted on 12/10/2013

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Mines is playing step dad as well the crazy thing is he has kids with other women also but will treat the kids that aren't his better than his own... It's crazy!

Emily - posted on 12/10/2013

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Thanks carmen that was touching. i will pray for you too. and good luck on your delivery. child support cant find him but i know hes playing step daddy for sone girls son too.

Carmen - posted on 12/10/2013

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don't give up there are places out there that can help you, Can his family help? Ohh sweety I am so sorry you are going through. this I am currently pregnant with my kids dad second child he ran off on me once again and moved in with another woman and her kids. But luckily I do have family help me. I am due any day now. I would seek child support from him for them kids you shouldn't have to do it alone. But don't give up those kids need you! Kids do tend to make one stronger... The quicker you let go of what he has done to you the more you will concentrate on your kids and situation. I know it hurts and its hard but you will pull through this. This happens to women more than you know. I will pray for your strength. He will be the one missing out and you just be the best mom you can. Good Luck

Emily - posted on 12/08/2013

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Thanks yes i actually think a home job is just what i need thanks for the advice and hang in there u too. with God anything is posible. just as mothers we tend to worry and have our little panic attacks but im sure everything will turn out good :))

[deleted account]

Hi I am kind of in the same situation as you I am 20 just had a baby and have a 1 year old. I have no job car childcare or anything. Dont give up your babies need you try looking for an work from home job thats what I am doing. I feel like giving up too but when I see my babies I know I want them to have a good life so I will do anything to make that happen.

Emily - posted on 12/08/2013

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Im in for dental assisfing i have four more months to graduate,i had to drop out when i got pregnant but hopefully i can go back once i find a babysitter

Kerry - posted on 12/08/2013

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I am looking to go back to university to do primary school teaching, i used to work in a nursery, i absolutely love kids haha! I'd suggest looking into early childhood studies though, it gets you further jobwise :)

Emily - posted on 12/08/2013

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Thanks and yea thatll be nice to speak to someone thats going through the same thing..im looking into getting back in college and trying to find child care so i can tale care of my babies.

Kerry - posted on 12/08/2013

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Hey, I'm 20 and pregnant too, and i was alone for a lot of my pregnancy. All i can say is you just have to pull it out the hat! There's no question about it, i bought everything for my baby on my £5 an hour wage and worked two jobs when one job refused to give me more than 10 hours! You'll get a second ind and you will just power through, or that's what happened with me. And things worked out for me in the end. I had a really shite and testing 6 month alone and struggling but its worked out.

If you ever need or winge or unload feel free to talk to me, and money wise try looking into job seekers and child tax credits?

Cc - posted on 12/08/2013

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You'll be fine. Thousands of women have been through this with no help from family. Public assistance will help. Go to a family shelter if you have to. Things get rough before they get better. Keep reaching out to family members, someone may eventually lend you a helping hand. Stop panicking...there is help out there, you have to be a responsible adult and find it. Good luck.

Emily - posted on 12/07/2013

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Because my fam is who painted a pretty picture so i can go bak home and theyll help me but instead i suffered and they did nothing to help me. and his mom always says shes going to send me money for the baby but necer does they never answer my phone calls or anything. its complicated to explain.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2013

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Why is your family out of the question? And what about his family, do they know where he is? After all, your child is their grandchild, they may be willing to help you out.

Emily - posted on 12/07/2013

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I went to vacation afor five months to try and save up mobey and he went for my bday wekk and i got pregnant,i know stupid mistake but i fell for his lies again and know hes m.i.a

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2013

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If he has been missing for ten months, how is he responsible for the baby you are pregnant with now?

Emily - posted on 12/07/2013

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Hi jodi, yes i have. ive been waiting ten months now and they still cant find him. he doesnt want anything to do with my daughter or the baby im pregnant with now.

Jodi - posted on 12/07/2013

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Emily, have you filed for child support from the father too? It's important that you shouldn't be the only one trying to manage the support of your kids.

Jennifer - posted on 12/07/2013

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Can you make it so some place else where you have family and friends?
You can call the health dept and social service and go online to start processes perhaps the walk isn't necessary

Emily - posted on 12/05/2013

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Yea i went but i live in fl and i walke everywhere so its kinda hard but i will try again thank u :))

Jennifer - posted on 12/05/2013

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Don' give up. You have 2 babies who love you unconditionally at this point. Contact your local health department. They can tell you where to go to get help for different things. Where I live you can get assistance for child care so you can work or go to school plus money for house etc.

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