I need help!

ALEJANDRA - posted on 01/28/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

7

0

1

My 20 year old daughter does not speak to me. We had never had such an argument before. I ask her to let me know if she is going to be late. Since she failed to do it, I scolded her; but shockingly, she told me it was my fault because I could have phoned her to ask her if she was going to be late.
I told her that this was her responsibility; nevertheless, she continues with the same attitude.
She also told me I have childhood traumas so I should see the psychologist.
I simply do not understand.
She lives at home with me, she does not work so she does not contribute financially n any way. I have not set a curfew. I just need to know what time she will be home. She is studying that is why she does not work.

7 Comments

View replies by

ALEJANDRA - posted on 01/28/2014

7

0

1

I think I will propose a contract. Thank you very much, I feel much better.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/28/2014

13,264

21

2015

Well, if she does, she's an adult, and she'll need to handle it, Alejandra. I know it's tough, but we can't carry them their whole lives.

Maybe its time for the two of you to discuss a contract?

ALEJANDRA - posted on 01/28/2014

7

0

1

Thank you, Shawnn!

I will retry because she has house rules, and I thought she agreed with them. The thing is she's got a boyfriend who is not studying nor working, and I'm afraid he is influencing her. I do not want to take responsibility of her because we had an agreement, and she is not fulfilling it.
I am afraid she will fail and have to drop out of school.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/28/2014

13,264

21

2015

Well, have you talked about 'house rules' with her now that she's an adult?

Seriously. My kid started paying rent when he graduated HS. HIS choice. He also knew that we had house rules, and that he needed to abide by them.

If he didn't he got a note on his door of the offense, and a reminder of the rules. One of them was "if you're going to be out late, call or text". He didn't have a problem with it. It is, after all, only common courtesy to let your housemates know if you aren't coming home.

Approach your daughter in an adult manner, and explain that she's not a kid anymore, so if she feels that your house rules are restrictive, she's welcome to leave. Otherwise, adults communicate, and she needs to learn how.

ALEJANDRA - posted on 01/28/2014

7

0

1

She does not work, she does not contribute with money at all. She cleans part of the house once a week. She is studying to be a biologist and she lives at home with me.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/28/2014

13,264

21

2015

Well, why are you imposing curfew on an adult? Does she live with you? If so, is she paying room and board? Does she contribute to the home in any way?

She's pissed because she thinks you are not treating her as an adult. That's how she sees it, anyway

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms