I need help

Jacqueline - posted on 02/17/2014 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Okay me and my babys dad havnt talked in 2 years he walked out on me and my son I wanna got out of the country to Arizona and I was wondering do I need his dads concent ?

11 Comments

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Mandi - posted on 02/28/2014

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Yes, they can take you back to court, but I know from my own personal experience in the state which I reside the other parent cannot stop you from moving out of state with your child unless you have already been to court and custody arrangements have been placed. If you have already moved before court then they will not and don't order you to come back with the children. The parent whom doesn't have custody either moves where they are or stays where they are and get the child in the summer depending on where they are living.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2014

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Wait a minute...You're in california, and you want to go to Arizona? Honey, that is not out of country...That's a different state...

What do your custody orders say regarding removing the child from the state?

In regards to whether you can file abandonment, has the man had contact with his child? Have you facilitated that contact, or have you made it difficult? Has he kept up with his visitation? If so, you can't file abandonment.

Perhaps an attorney could outline what your rights are in regard to being primary custodian, and what your court orders state as far as visitation, support, travel, etc.

And, I must say to Mandi, honey, you're a bit mistaken. It doesn't matter where one parent lives versus another...If one parent removes the child without the consent of the other, the other has every single right in the world to take them back to court, regardless of whether or not they still reside in the same city, county, state...please don't advocate potentially illegal actions.

Mandi - posted on 02/19/2014

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oh and one more thing, if you want to move out of state and not have him being able to stop you then you have to do it before he files for any rights or for custody over the kids because once papers are filed you are only able to go so far

Mandi - posted on 02/19/2014

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As long as there hasn't been any custody or legal papers drawn up. I have a bit of advice for you because my best friend wasn't very educated on these type things and she wishes she would had been because she had to battle for awhile to get her kids back. I watched her go through a lot of heartache and pain. Anyhow, I am not positive how custody laws and parents rights vary from state to state. So, the first I advise you to do is research custody laws and parental rights for whatever state you reside in or thinking of moving to. Once you have conducted your research you want to go down to your court clerks office (be sure to call and get all info you need before making the trip) and file for custody of your child if you haven't done so through the courts already. My friend had moved in with her childrens dad at 16 and they had their 1st child when she was 18 and second one at 21. they had never went and got married throughthe courts, they were only commom law. Their kids didn't have him on their birth certificates due to him beingin prison when she gave birth to the 1st one, and the second one didn't have him listed because she had gotten pregnant with her 4 months after they had separated and he said since they wasn't together it may not be his and he wanted a dna which had later revealed what she had known and said which that he was the father. anyhow, they had never went to file any type of paperwork or went through the courts. when they spilt he wasn't paying child support, wasn't calling to checkon them or talk to them, wasn't helping with them one bit (she called asking him to please pick up a bottle of liquid baby's motrin and bring it to her for the baby when she was 3 months old and running 102 temp and was working two jobs and in college & he said he couldn't because he had it put up for his beer), and he wasn't hardly ever seeing them and when he did pick them up most the time he left them with his mom while he went and partied. well, after a few years she decided to file for child support and when she did he filed for emergency temporary custody claiming she abused her kids and was a horrible mother. well, the judge granted it the day he filled and he went and picked up their kids without her being able to stop him or anything. I thought it was really screwed up how he was able to take the kids from her without any real proof and uproot them the way he had. I had even called down there asking how he could that especially without having proof and they told me "we give them a court date and on that court date she is able to prove his accusations aren't true and if they're not the judge will determine who will have custody. if she had filed for custody prior to that then he wouldn't had been able to take him the way he had. filing for custody without having to go to court and fight and everything else either doesn't cost anything at all or has a small filing fee. After he had gotten the kids and they were giving a court date it was 7 months away, and during those 7 months she had to get visitation rights to her children which she had to pay for the filing fee, the lawyer, and had to go to court before she was even granted rights to see her children. if she wouldn't had filed she wouldn't had been able to see them at all until they went to court. when it came time for the court date the kids dad had filed for it to be continued twice and she didn't end up getting her kids back for a year and nine months from the time he had taken them. so, I advise anyone who has not filed for custody through the courts to do so. when you file you don't have to go to court or anything else unless the other parent goes down to file after you had. I was told just because you have them and they live with you it doesn't mean you have custody.

Jacqueline - posted on 02/18/2014

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Thank You So Much And Ima Talk To A Lawyer See What He Says But Thankx Alot :) !

Jodi - posted on 02/17/2014

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Oh, if you are only going for a visit, that would be fine.
I am not sure what the rules are on abandonment where you live. Someone else may be able to advise on that. From my understanding, it is 3 years, but I could be wrong.

Jacqueline - posted on 02/17/2014

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Thing Is Im Not Moving Im Going For A Week Over There But I Just Wanted To Know If I Really Need His Concent But Thank You For The Advice I Wanna Get Full Custody Of My Son Two Can I File For Abandonment ?

Jodi - posted on 02/17/2014

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OK, so you aren't moving country, you are moving state. Arizona is still in the US.

Having said that, however, if you move, he "could" file to have the child remain in California. Unless you have custody orders saying you have full custody, you actually DON'T have full custody, and you don't have all the rights. You should really have some sort of legal document providing you with that custody anyway - you will possibly need that in the future (I know I needed it to enrol my son in school). If your son's father has not contacted your child in 2 years, then you probably will get approval to move, but you should go through the courts to avoid potential complications.

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