I need help

Jade Jacobs - posted on 05/27/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I h ave a daughter who will be turning 15 next month. She has such bad behavior in the household and I am really close to signing away my rights. I have asked for help so many times before to have her put into a treatment facility. We just moved from Maryland to Georgia and back in September. And my daughters behaviors have got extremely worse. Her teacher have seen her push people, Eat out of the trash can, screaming and loud Vocalization.....I don't know what you do anymore I need help I have 3 other children that need me and all my attention goes on her. Everyday she stools and urinate the whole house she hurt herself all the time behind my back and we all know how people perceive other kids when they have marks on them and not thinking that it's the child. We went to a doctor 2 weeks ago who says that she has schizophrenia. And I knew she didn't have autism when she was diagnosed Several years ago. I am so desperate I can't sleep at night because she doesn't sleep and she steals food out of our cat bowl and eat their food and water she does things that night that she shouldn't be doing. She's even hurt herself unnecessarily and has stood over me while I was asleep. I am desperate desperate desperate mother that needs help that needs to find somewhere to put my daughter to get help and allow her to spend most of her time living there as well. I am physically and mentally broken as well as the rest of us family.and the hardest thing about this is that I have heart disease and suffer from migraines so this makes it even worse for me. If you guys have any suggestions please let me know please.

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Marjan - posted on 05/27/2014

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My dear Jade. I have a schizophrenic brother. People can judge you, tell you what you should have done, or what you did wrong; but until they live with a schizophrenic person, they have no idea what life is like. Only you, as the primary care taker, know when it is time to look into residential programs. Allow me to say this, but it really sounds like you did everything you can and beyond, so it is time to start the healing. If not for you, for your other kids's sake. Contact her primary paychiatrist and ask to get you in touch with a social worker who will work with you or at least give you the state's information for the mental health offices. You may look into group homes and assistat living. Or you can hire an agency that places the elderly in nursing homes and assistant living, these agencies usually have lots of contact info for all age groups, and can help you find a home away from home where she can get the care she needs. You will always be her mom and once you have peace in your life, you will have the energy to be there for her even more. It will all work out. Hang in there!

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Jade Jacobs - posted on 05/27/2014

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I'm not sure if I am explaining my problem with my 14 year old child in a way for everyone to understand. I've been dealing with a lot of difficulties with my child for a numerous amount of years.my daughter has a lot of behavioral issues.we as a family have been trying very hard to get her behaviors under control. her behaviors are mainly urination and stool all over the house on herself. She also has touched herself where a young girl should not be touching themselves. She also will harm her 8-year-old sister. She has stood over my bed staring at me watching me sleep. She roams almost every night without any sleep if a little at all. She had to eat in the cat food a Whole 30 pound bag of cat food. I've been trying so much to ask for help which we tried medication and numerous different amounts of doses and yet no progress. She went to a different school where it was called a non public school and yet no progress. She has also did therapy behavioral outside therapy and no progress. She has been doing continuous in school therapy for behavioral issues and still no progress especially when it comes to home life. She is very manipulative for a lot of things that she wants. She is smarter than most of the kids in her classroom but because of her behavioral issues she has to be in a classroom that is what level 1. it is very difficult for me because like I mentioned before I have 3 other daughters that are in dire need of my attention but I can't give it to them due to how much attention my other daughter is called the majority of these problems in the house. I am so stressed everyday and because I have heart disease its hard for me to be stressed the way that I am. That is one of the reasons why I'm looking for a residential treatment program. I do believe that my daughter has schizophrenia and I also believe that some of her symptoms from when she was diagnosed with autism is there an overlapping in schizophrenia. But she has such a major aggression when she wants to she needs to either harm myself off on someone else mainly for 8 year old sister. My whole family is so tired of all the stress and we all have been asking for help. I have exhausted all different types of therapy. I have done a therapeutic session with her with her behavioral therapist many of times but all feels like it was a waste of time. I told people now what I want and I need help to get that. everyday I cry because of how much stress I'm under because of my daughter and I don't know how much more I can take.

Mafalda Casas - posted on 05/27/2014

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All this neurological matter in one point always overlap with the behavior and symptoms, can you have evaluated by other specialist so you can have two or three opinions? Is a methodology use for Autistic and many other disorder call www.tomatis.com this a frequency base methodology and I know for fact is very good. Also you need help for you self ......My experience is very good with this www.Tomatis.com, also look for specialist with past experience with children's with you daughter need. I agree you need to learn skills how to help her, don't let all you frustration and emission take over you live......

Jade Jacobs - posted on 05/27/2014

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I have been trying to address these issues for over 7 years. She used to live with her father at one point and when her father died she started living with me. We have been addressing these issues for many of years. I never ignored any of her problems I've always addressed them. What the problem is not me addressing them the problem is with doctors and other specialists who am I asking for help who refuse to help me because she's not an adult yet.my husband is away for work for about a week at a time. So I'm home with all for my kids which three out of four have IEP. I'm always going to meeting to better my children but the one child that does not even care to clean herself do everyday things for herself is driving me up the wall. When she is harming herself because she doesn't get what she wants or she just happened to feel like doing it is putting a lot of strain on our family. So I'm stuck with the task of allowing one day to have social workers come into my home to try to take all kids or trying to put her in a residential home.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/27/2014

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You've had multiple evaluations, but what are you doing to address the problems?

Evaluations are great, but managing these conditions takes time, effort, and patience.

Start to help her manage her conditions. You're doing her no favours by ignoring them, and hoping that they'll get better.

Jade Jacobs - posted on 05/27/2014

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Well absolutely Know majority of the things that she's doing is behavioral. we had her diagnosed with autism when she was 7. But I never actually believe that because of our behaviors. Then the special school she was going to in Maryland, there was a nurse/social worker that diagnose her with attachment disorder. but like I said they just diagnosed her with schizophrenia. I believe that a little bit more than autism for the simple fact she talk to yourself a lot and a lot of her behaviors that just out of the extreme extraordinary. She is trying to hurt her 8 year old sister a numerous amount of time. And at this point I am so mentally drained that I don't know how much more I can deal with this. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure but I have to keep telling myself there's nothing else I can do to help her. Her behaviors are beyond most kids with her needs. she used to scream all day everyday at the house but now she just does that in school every so often when she doesn't get what you wants. I've been trying for years to teach her how to use the bathroom and she knows how to use the bathroom. But when she's at school sHe will ask to use the bathroom and go but when she's at home she will do it on herself. it is a constant battle everyday with her the kids are so frustrated and they feel so sorry for me they try their best to help out as much as possible. She has tried to fight my 13 year old is well and just wants to cause harm on herself and my 8 year old daughter.

Mafalda Casas - posted on 05/27/2014

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Sorry this happen to you and I want to ask you if she have been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? I think you will know what is going on with her. My dear I advocated for parent and I know lot about all this matter of ADHD, ADD, Autistic,, Dyslexia, ETC....all this are in the areas of Neurological matter, and for what I see you daughter is having a Behavioral problem. How she was before can you answer that to me ? You are her mother I see you having very bad time now but I think is many ways you can help you daughter, send me the information and I can forward to you how and were you can get the help. Take Care , I will pray for you, to thing come better

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