I need help! Am I a bad mom?

Liz - posted on 05/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

2

0

0

My husband wants me to go back to work because I am not doing anything by staying home. I am not perfect but am I in denial of my real role as a stay home mom to a 16 month old and 3 1/2 yr old girls?
Scenario: I was diagnosed with severe Postpartum depression and ADD after the birth of our 3 yr old. Which has started this struggle for me. I went back to work after the 3 months. Then decided it was best for me to be home and raise our child than daycare. Then we had our other daughter Jan 2011. It has exacerbated my 'issues' making us fight all the time! Oh, he also works out of our home office.
I have trouble waking up in the morning, just so tired. Everyone (including hubby) gets breakfast, lunch and dinner that I make, very rare we eat out or get take out, too much money. I do all the grocery shopping, clipping coupons and trying to get the best deals. I wash all the clothes, etc. a lot of time they get folded but just stay in the baskets and picked thru until its laundry again. The dishes and kitchen will sometimes go a day, maybe two with out getting done. But they always have clean bottles and cups to use! I have trouble keeping up with the pick up of all the little things. toys especially. It seems there is always a mess somewhere and I can't keep up or catch up. I try to do fun things with them so we are not in the house all day but money makes this difficult and that time spent out obviously takes away house cleaning time. Im just upset that he sees me as a bad mom. not sure what to do or how to manage it all, any help or suggestions??

2 Comments

View replies by

Gina - posted on 05/12/2012

24

0

2

Well Liz, this can go in different ways. First you are a mother, and I do agree that nobody can do better for your children than you guys. Your children come first. You need to take care yourself too, make sure your children take a nap Am 1hr and keeping them very busy after the nap. Take a nap with them too.
Do your best to keep your home organize and clean (is not another way) so your husband won't start with you again on that. If you show him that you work hard at home he might begin to respect you more. If, it is possible for you to have family members to help you with the children couple days a week, so you can work part-time job; it might help you.
To have fun with the kids, try to collect egg cartons to put paint in them so the kids can fun outside the house if they can and if is safe, so you can use 15 minutes just to pick up around the house and plan your time better so you can get things done little by little. (But always be alert about what your kids are doing) Husbands always looking for things to pick on so don't feel bad about it, stay strong and respectful. Keep your children clean, especially before he comes back from work. It's hard and challenge I go thru the same.
We both decided that I was the one needed to stay home to give the love and education to our child. Liz teach them at home, start with numbers, then colors, texture of things, sound of vowel and consonants, about when they are 1yr + 2 you can start with sum, really. I did it, it takes time but it works and after a long hard work you will be so proud of yourself. I have A+ high honor son, I keep us busy and know he is 12 and 6th grade, I’m still don’t work but I do volunteer at school, but close to my child.
I force my husband to open an check- account with me and put money that will be use only for the house needs,( groceries, general merchandise, flowers etc.) but only the house needs and one credit card for my son’s cloths, (anything relate about our son) husbands like to know where money goes.
Sorry, I don’t want to over whelm you . Just keep your chin up and don’t feel bad or don’t let him make you feel bad. Good luck!! And Happy Mothers Day. You are doing fine!!!!!!

Michelle - posted on 05/12/2012

2,191

23

1087

Firs of all are you on meds for your diagnosis, if you are then they are not working properly and you should revisit that. I do understand where your husband is coming from if you are going to be a sahm you need to be doing the job of a stay at home mom and that is staying on top of the house work and everyday household stuff. You need to make yourself a weekly chart and stick to it. Start with when you will get up and schedule your day so that you are always doing something productive. ADD is hard to live with but if you make lists you can manage it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms