I NEED HELP ASAP!

Jane - posted on 05/08/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Ok so i am 16 and pregnant, i live in washington state. The father of my baby does not want to be apart of my life and the babys at all. Although i have fell in love with a friend of mine i known for years and he fell in love with me too. He accepts me being prego and having a baby which is not his. We are together right now and things are serious. He is 19 turning 20 and has a stable job that makes great pay. He want to be on the birth certificate, although he know all the responsibility that will come with signing the papers even though he is not the father of my child. Is it possible for him to do that being basically 20 years old and not being the actual father and having my parent concent of him doing that? Also will he be allowed to be in the room with me when i give birth? Also will i have to deal with the real father ever in the future even though he isnt on the birth certificate?

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Jodi - posted on 05/08/2013

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It's actually not legal in most places to put someone on the certificate if you know they are not the biological parent. What you can do is once you have had the baby, contact the father, and if he still wants nothing to do with his child, have him sign his rights away and then your boyfriend could choose to adopt the baby. However, if the father does change his mind and decide he wants to be in his child's life, he does have that right, birth certificate or no birth certificate. How this works out would depend on the laws of where you live. it could be an idea for you to have a discussion about this with a lawyer.

With regard to who is allowed with you in the delivery room, as far as I am aware that is your choice. Although that might depend on where you live, I couldn't say.

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These ladies are correct.
He cannot sign the birth certificate if he is not the biological father.
The biological father still has rights to the child whether his name is on the certificate or not. You can have him sign his rights away after the child is born if he is willing to do so. That would release him from all responsibility for the child, as well as eliminate any rights he has to parent the child.
Once the biological father has signed his rights away, your new boyfriend could adopt your son if he wishes to do so, and you wish to allow him to. In most cases, this also changes the child's last name to the adoptive father's last name, however in the US you can choose to keep the last name of the child the same.
In my opinion, you should give the child your current last name on the birth certificate, and you can change it later if you need to. If you give the child the biological father's name, or the adoptive father's name, you will need their permission to change it later if the relationship does not last.

Amy - posted on 05/08/2013

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He can't sign the birth certificate if he knows he's not the father it's against the law. In some states if you are not married at the time of birth you have to fill out a lot more paperwork for this very reason, they don't want people listed who are not fathers. Even if you choose to go ahead and have him sign it, your babies real father will still have rights if he chooses to persue them.

I would like to add one final opinion, even if this man adopts your child you should tell your child that she has been adopted by him. I'm sure you can find many threads where parent child relationships are ruined because the parent tried to deceive a child only to have the truth come out later, leaving the child to question everything.

Jane - posted on 05/08/2013

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Thank you so much!!! im just worried about age differences. i know that washington age consent is 16, i was just worried about him being basically 20 and signing the birth certificate.

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