I need help I don't want to raise a child with someone who can't communicate

G - posted on 05/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughters father isn't allowed to take our daughter to his place I don't know where he lives he refuses to tell me and his roommates are iffy. Today he took our daughter claiming he needed to go to the supermarket so I said yes. Now he is saying he is taking her home but won't disclose where home is. I told him he needs to bring her back to her house. I have a job that I'm not allowed to have my phone on my person he kept calling me but I wasnt able to answer. So he decided that since I couldn't call him within 15 minutes of talking to me he said be is ending all communication with me and won't tell me anything about my daughter . I know I can get my child back what I am not sure is where to go from here. I don't want to raise a child with someone who can't communicate with me every time I don't drop what I am doing to listen to him verbally harass me. He is my daughters father but he doesn't call her or Skype her. He calls out of parenting at his convenience. I thought of just not letting him see her until he is willing to communicate and disclose his address but I'm not sure if that will help our case and my daughter gets really sad when he misses his days on the other hand how sad is my daughter right now that he won't let her talk to me.

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G - posted on 05/16/2014

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He ended up dropping her back off and still waiting on a court date. Right now I have barred him from my house and let him pick her up since that was the choice he made. He still refuses to reveal his address but since it is the law and my daughter loves him I let her go. Now I know to make my agreement very detailed so that this kind of thing can't happen again. Thank you for your advice.

Ev - posted on 05/10/2014

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Do you have a custody agreement, visitation agreement and child support agreement set up? Keep in mind these are separate issues though they go hand in hand. If he is not going by the visitation and custody rosters on things then he is in contempt of court. If it states in the custody that you are to know where he resides then he has to give you that information. My ex and I have that in our custody/visitation orders. He also has to provide you with a phone number to contact him. Same as in mine. But you can not deny him visits because he is not communicating with you. That would make YOU in contempt of court. You most likely need to take it back to court and address the issues again and see if the judge can force his hand in giving out his residential address and phone number. As for the calls all the time, harassments and such, you need to log it on a calender and what was said. A judge is not going to look at it unless you do. He said/she said is not going to pass muster for a judge. Only documentation will. You did select this man to be with and conceived a child with him so he had to have been fine at that time. But now he is not okay to you and you can not decide when or if he sees his child with custody and visitation orders in place.

If there are no orders in place, then he has as much right as you do to the child. End of it. You need to get those orders in place.

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