I need help or advice

Concerned - posted on 01/24/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My woman's ex just made her drop child support on him by mentally abusing her son. She is scared to death of this piece of shit and let's him control her still by using her son to do so. So she felt that in the best intrest of her son she should drop the child support to make her sons life easier. My issue is now that he won and knows that he can control her using her boy how long before he wants to control her into something else? I really want to beat this guy into intensive care but she makes me promise not to do anything for the sake of her son. So as a man of my word I have to sit back idol and watch this piece of shit put her through all kinds of stuff but my patience is wearing very thin. I know all the horrible things he's done to her in her life and still continues to do so. There has to be something that can be done about him. Any advise?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/27/2014

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Sorry, but if there's court orders for support, she needs to take it back to court, report his behaviour, and have the orders enforced by way of pay garnishment.

A restraining order is only pointless, again, if one doesn't request it enforced. In other words, if she has one, and he violates it, she or you call the authorities immediately!

YOU cannot handle this. YOU cannot get aggressive, you cannot threaten him, you cannot do anything but be her support system. Should you escalate beyond that YOU will be in jail as well.

And, again, abuse needs proof, not allegations. Pictures, witnesses, doctor's reports.

Concerned - posted on 01/24/2014

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Yes they have court orders. Shared parenting and he was ordered to pay. Her son is 10yrs old. And she's tried her attorney and said there's really nothing can be done which I think he's just an idiot and she needs to find a new one. She's afraid to call children services cause he's got her convinced hell kill her and a restraining order is pointless cause it's just paper she can't hit him with it..and if she has him locked up hell just get right back out and finish the job...this punk is a real piece of work and is nothing but a coward..I keep trying to explain to her that he's just a punk that's feeding off her fear and will continue to till she stands up to him or allow me to handle it. But yes he's an abuser to both women and his son..if his son brings home a 98% on his homework he gets whooped..if he makes a mistake in sports he gets whooped and has balls drilled at him. Puts crap in his head about his mom and tells him that he will kill his mom if she try's anything to take her boy away or put him in jail..idk it's crazy and I'm at my whitts end with this guy

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/24/2014

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If he "convinced" her to drop support, are they on a court order? If so, she's not the one making that decision, and he needs to be reported to her attorney.

If he is abusive to the child, and there is proof of abuse, she needs to turn that over to her attorney. If she has not got court ordered support, she needs to get it, and if she's not got court ordered custody/visitation orders, she needs to get those too.

SHE has to be the one to do these things. If she will not, you cannot force her, but you can encourage it.

Jodi - posted on 01/24/2014

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How exactly is she allowing him to control her? In what way is he mentally abusing her son? How old is the child? And are there court orders and a child support order?

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