I NEED HELP!!! PLEASE!!

Tifney - posted on 01/05/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is tifney I have a 5 yearold step son who refuses to go to bed without hisdad thisis a EVERY NIGHT problem he followsmy husband around thehousescreaming bloody murder until my husband gives in and goes to bed its gotten tothepoint were me andmyhusband have 2 seperate rooms itsaffecting my husbands relationship with our 8 month old daughter and between us. Jr. Onlyacts thisway when his dad is home when its just me him and thebaby we haveno problems at all how do we get this under control??? HELP!!

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Ez - posted on 01/05/2012

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Why not just have your husband sit with him until he goes to sleep and then he can leave the room? Then you are both free to go on with your evenings. Don't make a battle out of it, because you won't win.

Kate CP - posted on 01/05/2012

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Yep, it's turned into a power struggle with the inevitability of your husband caving in eventually. I would suggest starting a new routine of maybe hubby tucking son into bed, reading a story or two and cuddling with him for a little while until he falls asleep. Make sure hubby tells son he'll stay with him until he falls asleep but won't sleep WITH him because he's a big boy and can sleep on his own. This way if son wakes up in the middle of the night and sees Daddy's not there it won't be as upsetting as if he were expecting him to sleep the whole night with him.

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When my boy came to us in the middle of the night we'd let him stay. (but that's more because I'm a bit lazy than any other reason) Although you have tried all of our suggestions, you still should keep them up. There is no quick fix with kids and being consistent is the key. He will get over this hurdle, they all do. But it is up to you. Don't give up :-)

Kate CP - posted on 01/06/2012

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Sounds like he really misses his dad and may be a bit jealous of the baby. If he gets up in the middle of the night have dad put him back to bed before he starts screaming and crying. Dad should sit with him, rub his back, bounce the bed a little until he falls asleep and then goes back to his bed.

Maybe make a deal with Son that if he can go a whole week without needing Daddy to sit with him that at the end of the week they can do a "camping" trip in the living room and watch movies in a tent and have popcorn.

Tifney - posted on 01/06/2012

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Thank u all. But wevetriedthosethings handing the middle ofthenight he comes back Ianthe room and as soon as my husband puts him in his room he freaks out again. Seek can handle hiscrying but my 8 month oldcant and then hes nit just keeping usup hes keeping her up to. I just wishhe would to bed on his.own like he doeswhen its me and him but witbhis dad

Amy - posted on 01/06/2012

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My 5 year old almost 6 won't go to bed without my husband or I being there.

[deleted account]

My boy would not ever go to sleep unless I stayed with him. So I began by laying on the bed with him until he went to sleep. After a while I then just sat on the side of the bed and gently bounced on the mattress until he went to sleep. Then it progressed to me sitting and not bouncing. Then the final step was me just sitting for 10 minutes, no more and then a kiss goodnight. Now I can usually just put him to bed, kiss him and leave. I used to explain each change as it came and reminded him he was a big boy and it was time to move on. He accepted each stage quite well and I lavished him with praise at what a lovely big boy he was when he had gone to bed without fuss. It may take a while for you sort this problem as it has become the norm now, but be persistent and consistent. Make sure it is Dad who puts him to bed and carries out the routine each night, the issue has probably stemmed from your step-son missing Dad and maybe he is scared that Dad might go away and not come back.
Good luck XX

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