I need help please.

Rick - posted on 02/24/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am the father of a 12 year old daughter. I joined this forum to get the advice from moms. Me and my daughters mother are divorced going on 3 years. Both of us have moved on and began new relationships with other people.
My question is: The relationship I am in now is a long distance relationship. We are planning on starting a new life together very soon. In the meantime we travel back and forth seeing each other. My daughter lives with her mother and I get to have her every weekend. When my girlfriend visits, we end up staying in a motel together. I have a roommate and find it more considerate and private for every one. When I have my daughter on the weekends that my girlfriend visits - it is a huge problem. She feels it is inappropriate for my daughter to be in the same room as us overnight. Not in the same bed, but even sleeping on a pull out sofa bed. I feel it is ok since we still have our alone time during the week and it is only for a few days. I want my daughter to feel included in the life that we are planning and not left out. Am I being ridiculous? We have tried getting a room with a separate bedroom, but that is not always possible. I hope that some off the members here can offer some advice or suggestions to help. I feel caught in the middle in so many ways.
Please help


View replies by

Jodi - posted on 02/24/2015




I agree with Trisha, that different living arrangements may be a better way to go. Before your girlfriend came into the picture, where did you and your daughter stay when she was with you for the weekend?

Trisha - posted on 02/24/2015




I would like to say that as long as there isn't anything inappropriate going on, it should not matter, but at the same time I am not comfortable sleeping in the same hotel as my stepson and husband. It just doesn't feel 'right' since he is well into puberty. My husband and I both like our privacy, and this is obviously the same case as your girlfriend. You need to respect that.
You might want to start looking into different living arrangements, as I can't imagine getting a motel room every weekend is more cost effective than having your own place. Your daughter is at an age where she should get some privacy, and your relationship with your girlfriend obviously needs that as well.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms