I need help with my anger

Jessica - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have two boys 1 and a half and 2 and a half, and I am a stay at home mom. We just moved to a new state where I know absolutely no one, I dont get any time away from my kids because we dont have the money for daycare and my husband works from 8 to 88.i have many stressors I feel like I am the only one worried about such as money and bills and then doctors want to say my oldest is autistic because he hasnt started talking yet. My kids are of course being kids but what gets to me is that they feed off my stress and are acting out because of it. They refuse to listen and time outs arent working anymore. I get so angry I will yell at them to knock it off and when I do that they start crying. I apologize afterwards because I never mean it but then once they feel better they are at it again. I have spanked due to the oldest deliberately doing things he shouldnt but when it happens when I am already angry I am scared it will go further. It never has but I just dont know what to do anymore. I give myself a timeout to walk away, everytime crying so hard because I just dont know what to do anymore. O know I need a break but I have no family or friends to help. Any social life I have is talking on the phone and that just isnt enough. Can anyone help with ideas about my anger and how I can control it better. Or know of something I could ask my doctor to maybe subscribe to help me. I dont want to hurt my kids ever but I am worried if I dont get this anger under control that one day I might spank too hard :'( please help me any advice.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

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You don't need to hang out with anyone to take a walk, or to have your nails done (yes, salons do stay open late), or to go to the Y, or the library...

Try the bingo parlor. Try a hobby class at a local community college. Both can be done during the evenings.

You have to be willing to exert yourself, just a little bit, to make your situation what you want it to be. I was there once, new state, babies, didn't know anyone but hubbies co-workers, and they all drank...

So, the boys & I made our own routine. I made sure that they had plenty of energetic play time that I rounded out with housework whilst they were napping. I found the local bingo hall, and started meeting my neighbors. I had to put myself out, they didn't come to me. I would take walks with my dogs in the evenings after hubby got home, and the boys were in bed. I'd get up an hour before the boys in the morning, to have my coffee, crossword, and shower time all to myself.

Adjustments have to be made. Nothing is going to change unless you are willing to begin to change it. Once you feel more solid in your new surroundings, your patience level will increase. It's all rolled up together. Hubby needs to realize that you need down time when he gets home. NO exceptions.

Jessica - posted on 02/05/2014

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My husband doesnt get home from work till after their bed time. And so going out doesnt really work. And I dont know anyone here to even hang out with.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

13,264

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2015

When hubby is home, can you take an hour, say every other day? Go get your hair cut, walk in the park, walk around the track at the Y...?

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