Niki - posted on 05/31/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hi. My ex husband and I adopted four of our foster children and he also adopted my birth son. All of my adopted children were placed with us as foster children at very young ages, from newborn to age four. Three of them are also biological siblings and when one does something...anything, the other two do it, too. We are dealing with them all becoming teenagers at about the same time and also reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, ADD, ADHD, depression, anger issues, lying, stealing, violence, food issues, and more. My ex husband and I are still close and we work together and talk often. I practice normal parenting and the problems increase. I try letting them do what they want and trying to talk to them about their choices and the problems increase. I am looking for advice, educational materials, websites with "good" information, and support. I really want to know that I am not alone in this more than anything. I want them to become great adults with healthy relationships and responsible lives but I feel like I am failing them. They go to therapy, see a psychiatric professional for family discussion and medication (low dose, "safe" prescriptions), and also see their pediatrician regularly. Is there a community where I can talk to someone? I feel like the classes we took almost thirteen years ago didn't even come close to preparing us for any of this.