I need my bed back!

Sarra - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My baby always slept in her own bed until she was about 5 months and then she decided she wouldn't sleep unless she was in my bed she is now 7 months old and I cant take it anymore its causing a problem with me and her dad any ideas how to get her back in her own bed. ohh and if your advise its to let her (cry it out) save it!

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[deleted account]

Quoting Amber:

Oh bless your heart......you have gotten into a bad habit and this is a tough one. My son is 19 years old now and I did the same thing when he was young - and this is what I had to do. For starters, make sure you have a set bedtime. Now that the bedtime is set...you have got to stick to it. Put your little ones to bed...they are going to get back up...ask for water...do anything they can do to get back up. You must stick to your guns. Take them back to bed, tuck them back in, and leave again.....over and over and over. Be firm. Do NOT lay down with them...if you do...it will become another bad habit. Also, if they start to cry....don't give in...they won't die from crying I promise....I know its breaking your heart but it is a tactic children use to get their way.....this might take several hours...and several nights. I promise if you stay consistent this works. I think the first night it took me almost 4 hours of leading my son back to bed. WHEW! So...pick a bedtime...and be consistent. Good Luck!



Ya I totally agree with Amber, Consistency is the key. Both my boys slept throught the night in their own beds at 2 months, my older one now who is 3 1/2 tries to pull this on me but my husband and I have to put him back to his own bed. It can be tough especially when he wakes up his brother but it does get easier. Hang in there. God Bless!

Patricia - posted on 12/14/2009

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Quoting Amber:

Oh bless your heart......you have gotten into a bad habit and this is a tough one. My son is 19 years old now and I did the same thing when he was young - and this is what I had to do. For starters, make sure you have a set bedtime. Now that the bedtime is set...you have got to stick to it. Put your little ones to bed...they are going to get back up...ask for water...do anything they can do to get back up. You must stick to your guns. Take them back to bed, tuck them back in, and leave again.....over and over and over. Be firm. Do NOT lay down with them...if you do...it will become another bad habit. Also, if they start to cry....don't give in...they won't die from crying I promise....I know its breaking your heart but it is a tactic children use to get their way.....this might take several hours...and several nights. I promise if you stay consistent this works. I think the first night it took me almost 4 hours of leading my son back to bed. WHEW! So...pick a bedtime...and be consistent. Good Luck!



I heartily agree with all you have to say Amber it is good, wise advice. But it applies to older kids who don't need to eat at night etc.  Infants are a special case you gotta get them to that point first. see other post of mine.

Patricia - posted on 12/14/2009

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The mattress in the room is a good suggestion though I don't have experience with this method I can't comment on its effectiveness. I would think that would be most helpful in older kids with this problem. I think my suggestions below will be most effective on smaller children still in infancy under age 1.



From early on I got all of my kids accustomed to something to associate with sleepy time. In my case it was white noise. It had double benefit b/c two of my three kids were colicky and the only thing that would get them to stop crying and fall asleep easier was pretty loud voume white noise. With my current baby, we bought a noise maker at Bed Bath and Beyond it has the ocean, rain, waterfall (this is the closest to white noise), and other noises. With all my kids by about 6 months of age I had weaned them off all swinging, rocking, walking around (all of which I used extensively for the first 4 months especially the colicky ones) to fall asleep.



I would suggest gradually associating sleepy time with white noise. For example: you rock the baby to sleep while there is white noise playing. To get her used to it since she isn't you can start off soft but gradually increase the noise to get the baby used to a moderate volume. It will have the added benefit of drowning out noises that will startle and wake her. Put it quite close to her crib, not at the other end of the room. Gradually decrease the amount of time that you rock her to sleep or walk her or swing her, whatever you use to put her to sleep. The goal being to replace your physical presence in getting her to sleep, with the white noise. Until you get to the point where all you have to do is tuck her, put pacifier in (if you use one) turn on white noise and she knows it's time to sleep.



There may need to be some tolerance (on your part) of a small amt of crying since kids are always more cranky when they are sleepy. But I'm not talking about screaming for 30min, etc. But you will have to accept there may be some small amt of discomfort during the transition that may be inevitable. If we insist on everything always being easy for our children we will never get them to change their undesirable behavior.



If you GIVE IN after you have already started and bring her back into your bed, you will prolong the process and make it more distressing for all concerned. Be decisive and consistent and persistent. Consistency is the most important thing in modifying any child behavior. My most heartfelt wishes and love go out to all fellow moms and dads out there suffering through "bedtime bad times" with their kids!

[deleted account]

Oh bless your heart......you have gotten into a bad habit and this is a tough one. My son is 19 years old now and I did the same thing when he was young - and this is what I had to do. For starters, make sure you have a set bedtime. Now that the bedtime is set...you have got to stick to it. Put your little ones to bed...they are going to get back up...ask for water...do anything they can do to get back up. You must stick to your guns. Take them back to bed, tuck them back in, and leave again.....over and over and over. Be firm. Do NOT lay down with them...if you do...it will become another bad habit. Also, if they start to cry....don't give in...they won't die from crying I promise....I know its breaking your heart but it is a tactic children use to get their way.....this might take several hours...and several nights. I promise if you stay consistent this works. I think the first night it took me almost 4 hours of leading my son back to bed. WHEW! So...pick a bedtime...and be consistent. Good Luck!

Kylie - posted on 12/14/2009

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You could make it a gentle transition to sleeping on her own by putting a second mattress on the floor of your room ..that way you can lay down together to nurse and help her fall asleep then when you are ready you can jump back into bed with your partner. I'm a big fan of co-sleeping but it only works well if the whole family is content with the sleeping arrangements and is getting more sleep.

Ashley - posted on 12/14/2009

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same here mine is 2 n she will go to sleep in her own bed but a few hours later is in ours n wont sleep unless she is in our bed so if u figure it out please let me kno too

Heather - posted on 12/14/2009

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Yea try to get her out of ur bed. My 2 yr old always slept w/us and now she is in our bed almost everynight. Last night my 4 month old would not sleep in his bed so we had them both in the bed. What I do w/my son is I put him to bed on my chest. Then I wait an hr and then I put him in his crib. By then he usually only fusses for a min and goes back to sleep.

Amber - posted on 12/14/2009

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Honestly i had the same problem except for hes always slept in our bed and he got to be 13 months old and was ready to sleep with my husband alone! So i would just either rock my son put him in his bed and turn lil music for him something soothing and talk to him pat him and usually goes right out! He might cry for just a mintues or so but thats it!Good luck! its the best thing ive ever done

Brandy - posted on 12/14/2009

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honey i wish i had some advice for you mine is 2 and she still sleeps with mommy and daddy. If you figure it out will you let me know ?

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