I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE

Jen - posted on 01/08/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

1,086

35

189

im on the 3rd day of potty training my 2 year old he wont sit on the toilet or his potty chair unless his in the middle of peeing on the floor then he will sit on it he cant tell me wen he goes so ive been watching him closely if he does pee on the floor i quickly sit him on his potty n ive caught him twice by doing tht. i was placing him every ten mins but tht was me forcing him to sit on it n it wasnt fair so i went to watching him n asking him if he needs a wee wee but all he says no n the next thing his weeing on the floor i dont make a big fuss over it i just say ok nextime tell me wen u need wee wee. im doing this on my own n i just feel like a failure he is waking at 4am since his routine got scrwed up over xmas n i just feel like it draining my energy so far today his had 4 accidents n one caught moment on the potty. he needs to be potty trainned by september ready for nursery in big boy school. any tips any advice please tell me what im doing wrong ive tried the toy things his got books he follows me to the toilet he gets treats wen sitting on the potty.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

You aren't training him, you are training yourself. He is not ready.... Stop what you are doing and wait.

Jen - posted on 01/09/2011

1,086

35

189

sherri i tried the breakfast nap n bedtime thing no chance he wont sit on it so now i am slowely just letting him chose what he wants to do he sat his toys on n then twice sat on them fully clothed n he had a giggle n ran off playing im getting his diffrent toys n putting big pants on n just doing role play n definley am holding bk on potty traiining til his ready not cus school need him to be if they cant understand sum children are not ready well then its not a good school anyway.

Krista - posted on 01/08/2011

12,562

16

845

Teresa is right. Your son just isn't ready yet.



Here's a good checklist that will help you determine when he IS ready. Not that you have to have every item checked off, but you should be seeing a general trend:



Your child may be ready to start potty training if he:



• Has regular, soft, formed bowel movements



• Can pull his pants up and down



• Imitates others' bathroom habits (likes to watch you go to the bathroom, wants to wear underwear, and so on)



• Makes a physical demonstration when he's having a bowel movement (such as grunting, squatting, or telling you)



• Has words for stool and urine



• Can follow simple instructions (such as "Give me the toy.")



• Understands the physical signals that mean he has to go and can tell you before it happens



• Dislikes the feeling of being in a dirty diaper



• Has "dry" periods of at least three or four hours (this shows his bladder muscles are developed enough to hold his urine in and store it)



• Isn't negative about everything



• Understands the value of putting things where they belong



• Demonstrates a desire for independence



___________________________



As I said, he doesn't have to meet EVERY requirement (I know plenty of adults who don't understand the value of putting things where they belong, but they still somehow manage to crap in the toilet...) However, he should meet MOST of these requirements, and basically know the feeling of needing to pee or needing to poop, and be able to let you know when he has those feelings.

Jodi - posted on 01/08/2011

3,533

36

3906

I agree with Lissa, he may not quite be ready. A big part of potty training is for him to recognise the signal that he needs to go. It is a neurological connection, and every child develops differently. 2 is pertty young. Possible, a lot DO potty train at 2, but a lot don't. You aren't doing anything wrong. September is still a long way off, so maybe, given he is so out of schedule because of Christmas, etc, you should focus on getting him back into a good schedule, and then give it another try in a couple of months. Keep the potty around, and encourage him to use it, allow him to sit on it if he chooses to, and just familiarise him, but wait until he is in a good schedule to get him started again.

Lissa - posted on 01/08/2011

1,047

0

105

If he doesn't know when he needs to go he isn't ready for potty training. Also starting something like this is never a good idea if there are other things going on like his routine being messed up. Boys to tend to take longer to train than girls and it is perfectly normal for a boy to into his third year before he starts getting the hang of potty training.
I would leave it for now and wait until he shows signs of readiness. Staying dry for long periods, taking off or complaining when he has a dirty/wet diaper, something all of mine did was going behind the sofa when they needed to do their business rather than just doing it wherever they were. Relax he will be ready in his own time and forcing him will only cause problems. When he is ready talk to him about the potty, get him to sit on it regularly, keep him occupied while he sits for a few minutes if something happens make a big deal of it, if not say nothing. A little sticker chart and little rewards for going on the potty work wonders.

12 Comments

View replies by

Sherri - posted on 01/09/2011

9,593

15

391

He doesn't sound like he is even close to ready yet. You need to go back to just introducing him to the potty and not full blown potty training him. Sitting him on during diaper changes, first thing in the morning, after nap, before bath time etc.

Lucy - posted on 01/09/2011

591

33

23

I agree with the other ladies, your son isn't quite ready, and rushing him to fit in with the nursery won't help and may even delay him further as it will undermine his confidence.

Personally, I would seek out a nursery that doesn't insist that two year olds are potty trained. This attitude wouldn't fill me with confidence about the setting's understanding of early years development. I am the Chair of our local pre-school which takes kids from two and a half to five years old, and we don't specify that the kids should be potty trained at any age. They will do it in their own time.

By the way, the average age for a boy to be toilet trained is 3 years and two months, so your little one is not behind, anyway!

Jen - posted on 01/09/2011

1,086

35

189

thanks jodie i really just dont want him missing out on nursery he doenst have contact with kids as it is so if he dont go til reception its gna be way harder for him. ive stopped the potty trainning n kept the potty in our bedroom n mickey mouse is sitting on it wearing big pants n my son is playing along but not about him weeing etc he gets him off n starts n cleaning him. im gna wait til i get some actual signs n if he misses out on preschool well i will have another year with my baby boy n teach him stuff at home.

Jodie - posted on 01/08/2011

65

62

6

With my first child I pushed him because "kids should be trained at 2". So I was told. It totally backfired on me and he refused to use the potty until he was 4 1/2!! I learned my lesson! I was much more relaxed with the second one. Like you, he needed to be trained to go to preschool but you know what, HE WASN'T! I was irritated because he didn't follow my schedule but there was nothing I could do about it. So I tried to look on the bright side. Now I had 4 more months with my "baby" before I had to send him off into to cold, cruel world. LOL! Obviously I'm kidding about that part, well kind of, but he was trained 3 weeks after pre-school started. Irritating yes, the end of the world no. I see it as a success because he trained 1 1/2 years sooner then his brother! My youngest is almost 2 and she's showing signs of being ready: standing in front of the toilet and peeing on the floor (she thinks she has a penis too!), telling me when she's pooped, etc but honestly I'm not really worried about it right now. I've put her on the potty and she sits but doesn't do anything. When she's done sitting she gets off. I don't keep her on longer then she's ready to sit because you don't want it to be a fight. He will train when he's ready which will follow his schedule and not yours. Take a break from training and just enjoy having your "baby" because before you know it he'll be 9 and giving you attitude. Not that I know from experience...

[deleted account]

He doesn't sound ready to me. I would stop and try again this summer. Every time it didn't work for my son I took a 3 week break and tried again. When he was finally ready he potty trained within one week! That was less than a month before he started preschool.

Jen - posted on 01/08/2011

1,086

35

189

ive let him sit in wet pants he doenst care he dont even notice his done sumthiing unless he sees it on the floor

Louise - posted on 01/08/2011

5,429

69

2321

Buy a timer and set it for 30 minutes. When the timer goes off sit him on the potty/toilet for 5-10 minutes and chat to him in a relaxed matter. Ask him if he needs a wee and say if you do have a wee wee now. If no success then set the timer again for 30 minutes. If he has a wee then set the timer for an hour and then start again every half an hour. At the age of three he is more than capable of knowing he wants the toilet. Do not put him back into day time nappies now and if he dirties himself do not rush to clean him up.Let him feel what it is like to be dirty and wet and this should discourage him to do it in his pants again. Potty training does take at least 2 weeks for a child to get the hang of things so don't give up just yet. If your son reacts well to rewards then do a sticker chart for his successes. hang in there mum it will be worth while.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms