I need some advice when one of your children have done something notty how do you handle it with out yelling and etc? I would really like to learn to be more patient and handle things better with my kids instead of blowing up.

Darcie - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Here is an example: on Saturday I was trying to get myself and 5 kids ready for a funeral nothing was going right when I went down stairs I noticed they had wrote on walls and the floor so I lost it and started yelling very loud. I get overwhelmed and then when something goes wrong I lose it. Does any one have a healthier way to handle it?

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Ariana - posted on 10/02/2012

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Going to a family councellor or parenting group can help get ideas and different parenting tools. There are a lot of books on parenting that you can read that will give good advice.



For me my best tool at staying calm is preperation. I find the first time my child does something is the most likely that I am to react badly, whereas once somethings happened and I expect it I have time to organize what I'm going to do.



Sometimes it's easier to handle kids if you have a plan for certain behaviors. So if Jill draws on the walls she needs to clean it up and the crayons get taken away, that type of thing. I know it's not possible in all situations but if you have a game-plan for what you're going to do if they don't listen or whatever you'll feel better.



When somethings going wrong sometimes stepping back and taking a deep breath can help you see a little clearer. Sometimes having a schedule for the day can help.



I would work on setting out in your mind how you plan on handling misbehaviors or stressful situations, trying to make a plan for how you'll react if you feel overwhelmed, read some parenting books that go with your parenting style, and look into family councelling or parenting classes/groups.



Everyone gets stressed out sometimes, just remember to step back and take a breath. Respond don't react.

Vicki - posted on 10/02/2012

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Maybe parenting classes or even councelling? Sometimes our own personal issues we allow it to pour onto our children we know we shouldnt we know we dont want to either but it keeps hapening this is why i think its important to seek out other recources, the more tools in our tool boxes the better! Maybe instead of reacting so quick try walking away close your eyes and just take a couple of breaths sometimes by doing this can really change the pace and puit you into a different mind set. Is there someone you can call to help you out with the kids so you can have a break?

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Darcie - posted on 10/02/2012

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Thank you very much this did help. I did go to family therapy a year ago. And that is actually pretty close to what she said to me. To not react because that causes a ripple affect and that is very true because my kids handle things the way I do. Its nice to have a reminder. So thank you very much. I did alot better today after reading your reply and Vicki's reply. I was able to sit back and tell them what will happen if they do something. I also have parenting books Love and Logic and 123 magic. I really like 123 magic the other takes to much creativity.

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