i need some help and advice for wisconsin law in adoption and terminate parental rights

CJ - posted on 08/28/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I need some advice. I have a very complicated situation between my ex and my son. When he found out that I was pregnant he treated me like crap. When my son was born he left the baby and I at the hospital and refused to take us home. He also had a DNA test done because he said that child was not his because he was born with black hair and not red hair. When that baby and I finally were able to get home the baby was 6 days old and my ex said he wants no responsibilities of this child an that we are no longer welcomed. I packed our stuff and stayed with my mom for about a month and then i went into a safe house for women cause he started threatening me. I was living with this safe house for about two months then he got the DNA test back and said that he was sorry that he didnt believe me and he wanted to be there for the baby and I. I believed him and I moved back in with him. He didnt have a place to live and his sister and her husband offered us a place to stay with them. I would go to work and when i came home he neglected the baby and would get drunk instead leaving the baby unattended and then i confronted him about it and his brother-n-law said he could do what ever he wants and then kicked me and the baby out and my ex said that he agreed with his brother. I went and stayed with my mom again and i told my ex that if he wanted to be a family that he needed to find a place to live and just us.we finlally found a place to live. i was working two jobs at this time and he was working one. i would be gone all day and then at night i would do my second job.Again i would come home to the baby screaming and unattended and we would get into arguments about him being responsible. after my son turned a year old my ex got mad and abused me and almost tried to kill me. i had a wittness there that saw everything and the cops were called and he was arrested and charged. shortly after that he started harassing me and stocking me. On christmas that year i let him see the child for an hour and i had to leave case there was a storm and i went to see my friend before i left town to go home and he followed me there. i was leaving and he pulled up and tried to run my son and i over twice that night and i called the cops and they went to talk to him at his job and they came back to me and said that he did this because he was jealous. That following monday he went to jail and got fired from his job. he stopped wanting to see the child he said he didnt care anymore. The state ordered child support he refused to pay. then he paid about 8 months worth of support then stopped. he didnt pay support for child for a year. and didnt see the child for a year. i flied for a divorce and we were ordered to go to mediation to set up visitations. He showed up for the first visitation but not the last two before court. Then the final court date came that next day and he did not show up for court. i was granted sole legal custody and primary placement of my son. He stopped paying child support and did not attempt to see the child. Now i am remarried and my new husband wants to adopt my son and my son doesnt know who his real father is and has not seen him in over a year and my ex still has not paid support and now after I get remarried he wants something to do with the child becuase he doesnt want another man in my sons life. my ex filed for mediation and i said no. then three months later he filed for a guardian ad litem. the judge told him what he had to do and he needed to pay for his half for the litem. I went to talk to an attorney and he said that this was going to be a very hard case becuase he now wants to see the child and that we will have to have a jury trial because he is not willing to give up his rights. I dont know what to do becuase this attorney said that they just will not sign off or take his rights away just because he doesnt pay support and cause he has not seen the child in over a year and because i get married he decides he wants something to do with the child. i dont know what to do. i am pregnant again and my baby is due in two months. i dont know what to do.

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Dove - posted on 08/30/2012

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It IS hard to terminate rights because a judge knows that in MOST cases... it is much better for a child to have both of his/her parents involved in their lives. Kids deserve to have every chance possible to know both their parents... even if one, or both, of them is 'less than ideal'. Kids aren't dumb. They figure out pretty quick for themselves who they can and can't count on in this life. If someone prevents them from finding that out for themselves though... it can make what a kid goes through SO much harder on them.

CJ - posted on 08/30/2012

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i have been but then he said the situation is going to be a very hard to terminate his rights.

Dove - posted on 08/28/2012

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You listen to your attorney and you go to court. Your attorney is going to know WAY more about your particular situation than any random woman online.

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