I need some major help 😟😟😟

Sonia - posted on 08/05/2014 ( 50 moms have responded )

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I'm really in need of baby cloth, I'm 6 months pregnant and my parents kick me out the house and know I'm just living with a friend that can only do so lil for me... I don't know what to do and I'm only 16

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 08/09/2014

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Teresa: There have been a lot of posts that have been deleted due to the OP's language. You aren't getting the whole story by just reading the posts here.

Teresa - posted on 08/08/2014

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Does no one here have compassion. SHe is a child. SHe is as grown as she can be. My word, I would HATE to be your daughter in this situation, but let me guess, NOT YOUR daughter. We are all children at one time. SHe needs guidance and loving advice. We, as adults, should have learned about NOT being so easily offened and seeing through the "tough girl" talk that a 16 year old girl can give when feeling very vulnerable. SHame on adult women here judging.

Teresa - posted on 08/08/2014

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Shawnn, she IS a child. Get over being offended by what you deem inappropriate words and read beyond her words. SHe is young, scared, and apparently has not had the guidance to necessary to handle this. Have some compassion.

Teresa - posted on 08/08/2014

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Female brains do not reach maturity until about 20. DO you NOT see that she is a child herself? SHe is scared and probably does not know what is real reality as an adult does.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

50 Comments

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Jackie - posted on 08/11/2014

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Tanya, I consider it standing up to bullies, if you let it go unchecked it, continues. I understand your point, of course.

Tanya - posted on 08/11/2014

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You guys are seriously arguing about this....This is the only site that I use and see bulling, all the other sites are opinionated but respectful. It makes me sad for all mother's out there looking for advice here.

Come on... we're all mom's here! However, when I see postings like this it makes me think we're all teens...

Everyone has different personalities and you just have to learn to speak to each other in ways that the other will understand. Sometimes you have to try to give the other a chance!

Jackie - posted on 08/11/2014

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Really?? Oh that's very mature of you. If you use a pronounce such as "us" or "we" than implies that "you" are included as well. So you just proved my point. And NO I am not going to shut up and go away just because some internet troll such as yourself tells me to. YOU don't belong here with your judgmental rude self, and I am just patiently waiting until you get booted off, Dove. I am clearly not the one who needs to "grow up". Yah I thought your post was pretty "funny" myself. If you want to continue this convo please pm, me. I can see that you have nothing better to do with your time so bring it.

Dove - posted on 08/11/2014

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Oh.. .and yes, I realize I said she freaked the heck out on me.... so don't even bother w/ that. If you can't take my entire posting as a whole statement... that's not my problem.

She did directly tell me that she's not restarted (her word... I'm not editing it for her on this post...lol)

Dove - posted on 08/11/2014

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Did I say she targeted me by name?! Grow the heck up and quit nitpicking.

Here... I'll quote what I said. Maybe you can reread it again and learn some comprehension...

She got advice... helpful advice following the guidelines of this site... and she freaked the heck out and cussed us out ONLY because we did not offer to give her free stuff.

Notice the use of the words US and WE. @@ Now shut up and go away cuz you are being obtuse.

Jackie - posted on 08/11/2014

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I said she didn't ask Dove directly, as she was claiming. Maybe some of you missed the "was wondering if someone could help me" part. She did say other things before that, like she felt that she was being judged for instance. This girl came her looking for help.Period.

Dove - posted on 08/10/2014

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Funny Jodi... that quote doesn't sound like the ranting of a scared child... sounds like self-centered greed....

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2014

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Uh, Jackie, she was actually looking for free stuff. She just didn't ask for it directly in her OP. Following is an exact quote:

"Bitch first all I didn't ask your to tell me where the fuck to go I seen that people was giving free shit on here so I was wondering if someone can help me"

Jackie - posted on 08/09/2014

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Also no where did this girl ever ask you directly for free stuff, so nice try. She was acting out towards YOU plain and simple. I'm trying my hardest to keep out of this but enough already!!

Jackie - posted on 08/09/2014

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No Teresa you may not have seen the postings of a scared young mom who was clearly only acting out towards the other comments. They really need to get over themselves. I have seen other posts and they use the same rude condescending tone towards others. I am sure I am going to get a "funny" for this, but I do not care. They clearly don't have any compassion because they feel they need to be "real" with people. Thank goodness she's not your daughters.

Dove - posted on 08/09/2014

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Teresa Ward... if she were MY daughter... she wouldn't be homeless and scared and seeking advice from an internet message board. She would be home... w/ me... where she belongs

She got advice... helpful advice following the guidelines of this site... and she freaked the heck out and cussed us out ONLY because we did not offer to give her free stuff.

So yeah... we reacted. Sorry... I don't have free baby stuff to give this child. My youngest is 6. lol And as a single, disabled mother of 3... I need all the help 'I' can get. I'm just not asking for it from random strangers.... I got my butt to DHS and asked THEM to point me in the direction of resources.... Same advice I gave this child before she flipped the heck out on me. @@

Teresa - posted on 08/08/2014

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DSS and you local health department. You can get Medicaid, WIC, Foodstamps. Look for organizations that help people in your situation. I am so sorry, I am praying for you. Look at churches. The bigger ones usually have programs that can help.

Dove - posted on 08/08/2014

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If my own child responded to anyone the way she just did... they wouldn't be seeing the light of day for a very long time.

I get that she's 16 and not getting the support she needs from the people she needs it most from (her parents), but you can't go around insulting people like she did in the real world. She does that to the wrong person IN person and she's going to get knocked on her butt... pregnant or not.

Tanya - posted on 08/08/2014

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I know you guys are right, all I'm saying is you see how immature she is.

Responding like that she'll rebel against us...calling us names, etc...

I totally agree Shawnn, I have a low tolerance for stupidity as well. I will speak to my daughter the same way you say you speak to you're children but I can tell she's not really supported emotionally, financially, and in terms of stability I'm sure the father is no where to be found.

If her mother kicked her out she's panicking.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2014

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Stop with the 'she's only 16' line. She's 'only' old enough to understand what's going on.

The OP got the same answer I'd have given my own kids! (if they'd been rude enough to respond to honest advice with 'FUCK YOU', that is).

She said she didn't know what to do. She was given several answers about where to start with contacts, and she comes back with 'fuck you'. Well, sorry, but when you want to play on the adult playground, be prepared to play like an adult. If an adult tells me to fuck off, they get a response from me that is usually about as stupid as their statement. When a CHILD first of all makes a poor choice, and then proceeds to tell the mothers giving her advice to fuck off...Sorry, hon, but she had it coming.

Dove - posted on 08/08/2014

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Grow up sweet cheeks. I don't bloody care if she is only 16. There is no excuse for her to behave the way she just did. My 12 year old is smarter and more mature than she is....

If you are 16 (legally a minor) and your parents kicked out out... that LEGALLY makes you homeless.

And the word is retarded... not restarted and no, I don't think you are retarded... just too immature to know when people are TRYING to offer you good advice. Obviously, by your 'very mature' reaction to us pointing you in the direction of the services that you ASKED for.

You want free stuff? Good luck....

Sam - posted on 08/08/2014

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Judging by the way you talk you need to grow up. You got pregnant fine, it happens now take some responsibility. Your 16 that's old enough to get a job so go get one and maybe try to talk to your parents. My sister got pregnant around the same age and tho my family threw her out the let her back in shortly after. You can not get by on websites asking for free shit, that is your flesh and blood and you need to provide. Go to the thrift shop you can get cloths very cheap some times 25 cents for an outfit. What you need to worry about is formula. Not every baby can be breast fed and formula is 30 dollars a can and it lasts about a week. You should go to social services and apply for WIC it will give you free formula cereal milk cheese and other dairy. As for "free shit" maybe a family member can throw you a baby shower. It will be hard and you will need to work hard but its far from impossible and when you see your child you'll know it was all worth it. If you feel you really cant take care of the child follow the safe baby haven. google it. To many young moms feeling frustrated and alone who need help and only get put down. Im not trying to do that but you need to start getting things done now and a website will not do it for you

Tanya - posted on 08/08/2014

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Come on guys you're right...but remember she is only 16.

She did make adult decisions but now she has a lifetime of consequences-not only consequences but you know what I mean. I mean I know it's not easy having a 15 month old and I'm 30...and I'm not looking forward to her teenage years either!

Sonia, out of curiosity why did your parents kick you out?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2014

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And I'll point out that telling you to call child services and provide the documentation required certainly didn't need a response of "Thank a lot to all your fuckers out there ..... Show how much you guys give a shit....fuck you Shawnn and dove don't comment on my thing anymore".

YOU made a very adult decision. Put your big girl panties on and take the advice you're given. Nowhere on this site is it acceptable to solicit for 'free shit'. If you weren't prepared to take on this HUGE responsibility, you should have been more responsible. That's not putting you down, that's stating the facts. You may be 'only' 16, but you knew what the possible consequences for your actions were.

Also, sunshine, this is a PUBLIC FORUM. You aren't on FB anymore, and you cannot dictate who is going to respond to your posts, nor how they will respond.

Jodi - posted on 08/08/2014

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"Bitch first all I didn't ask your to tell me where the fuck to go I seen that people was giving free shit on here so I was wondering if someone can help me"

Firstly, there really is no need to speak like that.

Secondly, no-one gives free shit on here. And by asking people to give you shit, you are actually soliciting, which is against community guidelines. Therefore, by people directing you to services that may be able to assist you, rather than giving you stuff themselves, they were actually doing the right thing.

There will be services in the area in which you live that can help you. Without knowing what country you are in, it is difficult to make the appropriate suggestions that will be of help to you.

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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Sonia, I sincerely hope you are able to the things you need for your baby. I hope your experience here hasn't totally put you off. Good luck!

Tanya - posted on 08/07/2014

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I understand, but they have people here dropping things off in good condition for people in your situation.

Sonia - posted on 08/07/2014

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I mean I do take my vaccine and my prenatal vitamins and etc I just to have enough income to get most of the things I need

Tanya - posted on 08/07/2014

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OMG, this seems to have gone pretty far!

Sometimes people say things different ways, but we're all here to help!

Try all the resources you were provided with and I would go to a CLSC ( in Montreal, Canada it's called a CLSC) I'm not sure what it's called in USA but they have a ton of resources.

It's like a center to help everyone...free vaccines, formula, psychologist, nurses, etc.

Sonia - posted on 08/07/2014

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You don't know what I've been through so by you responding to be like that ain't looking like your helping me just judging me .... And first off I'm not homeless

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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I am not going to personally attack YOU. So God Bless and have a nice day! I just hope this girl gets some helpful advice out of this and ignores all the rest.

Dove - posted on 08/07/2014

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Jackie... you 'called us out' and perceived things from us that weren't even there... and you keep going on and on and on about it. Where is OUR respect from you? Apparently it's ok to tell other people how to act, but you can't do the same when people simply respond bluntly instead of candy coating things.

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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RESPECT. We're all moms here, and we all know that while motherhood is incredibly rewarding, it's not easy. So we start from a place of respectβ€”for each other, for our children, for the huge challenge of being a mom. We recognize that there's much to be gained from the EXCHANGE of reassurances and ideas with other moms, who understand like no one else. And we thrive when we have access to non-judgemental SUPPORT and try to PAY IT FORWARD by giving that support readily to others. Let's keep our community ENCOURAGING, CONSTRUCTIVE, and THOUGHTFUL!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/07/2014

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Wow, Jackie, thanks for totally assuming that by typing LOL (after a statement directed at YOU, not the OP...) we were laughing at the 'poor' teenager.

No, my dear, we were laughing at your assumptions that we're heartless bitches that have nothing better to do than be mean, horrid posters...LMAO...When, as I said, truth isn't necessarily compassionate, nor pretty...and truth and reality is what one must deal with daily in life.

Dove - posted on 08/07/2014

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I didn't laugh at teenage pregnancy and neither did Shawnn. I'm pretty sure we laughed at your assumptions.

Some people have different ways of wording things. The only one making an issue of it is you... so yeah, it's your issue, not ours.

We pointed her in the direction of resources to help her... same as you did. We deal w/ posts like this all the time and to have to spell out every single step that 'should' be common sense long before a person turns 16 gets a little old. I'm not here to coddle people. I'm here to try and help. Real life ain't a picnic or a party.

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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Yes because teenage pregnancy is totally a laughable thing, right? "LOL." She is still a child, no matter what adult actions she engaged in. Now she is going to have to grow up fast.

I apologize if anyone took offense to my observation, let's just pray this girl and her baby get the help they need. : )

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/07/2014

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I'm having trouble understanding how telling someone to contact child services is 'condescending'. LOL.

Adult decisions were made, now adult actions need to be taken. That's not condescending, that's life.

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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Yes I am sure reality is going to be hitting her pretty hard soon enough. Note I also mentioned compassion and love. I am not assuming anything I am just stating an observation, my personal observation nothing more.

Dove - posted on 08/07/2014

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lol She needs and was given help. You can assume we are being condescending by simply speaking reality... but that's your issue, not ours.

Jackie - posted on 08/07/2014

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Sonia, do you live in the US? Also try looking up OnlineforLife on Facebook, they can help you and get you in contact with someone that can help you with everything and anything. Also, Crisis Pregnancy Centers is another place to look. I am assuming you have access to the internet since you posted here. Google them in your area! Good luck honey. God Bless, I will be praying for you and you're little one :)

And to the rest of you posters I don't know if you meant to be condescending, but that is how it sounded to me when I read your comments. She needs love and compassion and help right now NOT your judgement. smh.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2014

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Sonia, go to your local child services office. Fill out the proper forms, provide the documentation, and get assistance.

You were old enough to have sex, now you're going to be a parent. It is time to start to handle your personal issues without having everyone else tell you what your next step should be.

Dove - posted on 08/06/2014

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Why don't you call them and ASK THEM?! Really. I already said they can point you in the direction of resources available to help you. If you are 6 months pregnant, 16, and homeless... baby clothes are the least of your worries right now. Time to grow up and take the steps necessary to support and raise this little, innocent life that you've created... and there is a LOT involved in that.

Dove - posted on 08/06/2014

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Department of Human Services... or it may be called something else in your area. Pull out a phone book and start looking in the government sections.

Dove - posted on 08/05/2014

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If you live in the US... call your local DHS office and ask them to point you in the right direction for assistance in your area.

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