I need some words of courage right now..

User - posted on 07/02/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My twins are starting to run me down, and I going no where. Everytime I try and do something to better myself there is always something there to knock me down. My twins seem impossible half of the time, and when people tell me ohh they are angels they are so sweet and good. It pisses me off to the max because they dont understand what I go through. Everyone was so quick to tell me what to do when they were babies, and now that they are toddlers no one has anything to say but they all go through that phase. It's seems nothing I ever do is for me. Everything is for them. I try to have my own identity, but that's just a bust! I know they did not ask to be here but I dont deserve to be this stressed out every single day. I would just like one day where I dont have to clean up muck off the floor and walls or say no, stop, and quit. I need some part of my life back.....soon. If you have felt like this how did you deal with it?

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OK. Toddlerhood is typically stressful for Mum, toddlers are notoriously difficult to deal with. They need constant supervision, they have a limited attention span so any task you set for them will only keep them happy for a short time, they are selfish by nature: we have to teach them how not to be, they are destructive: again we have to teach them not to be. You have twins, so it is twice as stressful for you. I can tell you this, it does get better. You will get your identity back, just not quite yet.

When my son was a toddler I swear I was on my way to the funny farm. I felt like all I ever did was say "no", don't" "stop", and cleaning up mess, fixing the things he broke, repeating myself over and over... it was seriously doing my head in AND I was struggling with depression on top of it. He is 5 now, and goes to school, so not only do I have the days to myself to "find" myself again but he has also reached a place where he understands so much more about how to behave and how to amuse himself at times and how to be patient when I can't be with him straight away. He is also able to clear away his own mess and help me with a few chores.

Your twins will become more manageable as time goes by, but the best thing you can do is to decide what method of teaching you will use with your kids (that includes discipline and/or punishment) and be consistent. Nothing will work if you can't be consistent in the way you deal with them. You will need to be strong in the beginning because there will be time when they are persistent in their undesirable behaviour but you need to stick to your plan and don't budge. They will soon figure out which behaviours will bring them grief and which ones will bring them peace.

Anyway, there is light at the end of the tunnel, trust me because I have been there. You will get your identity back but you just may need to wait a tiny bit longer. Hang in there girl :-)

Chaya - posted on 07/02/2012

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How old are they? If they are over age 5, they can clean up after themselves or sleep in a room with it there. If they make a mess, they can clean it up.
Do you have friends, family, or church members that can take one or both for a time, as in a few hours per day? Perhaps you could make dinner for hte assisting family.
I had to drop out of one program when my daughter got sick, the professor refused to let me back in later, he got fired later. That isn't my daughters fault. If it's maliciousous, it would be.
Part of being a parent is cleaning muck off the floors and walls.
If your children are under age or so, you may need to be a mom for a year or so. College or university may have to wait. I went to school while raising my children along with my sistes, but I had a good support system, perhaps you need to build one.

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