I need to tell y'all something

Christina Michelle - posted on 07/15/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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You people don't understand. Maybe if you were where me or saw what I see you would understand The only reason why I am even with this 19 year old is because I met him when I needed someone most. He knows more about me than anyone in the entire universe does. I'm not saying that we didn't have arguments or disagreements of course we did. But I learned to forgive him for all that. I just don't understand why people are all up in my face about this guy telling me to leave him alone and things. But then as soon as i tell them that me and him don't talk anymore, they all act like they care, and nothing ever happened. For once in my entire life, there is someone out there who makes me feel special, and makes plans with me, and makes me enjoy my life. Even though I wanna end it 100% of the time. Most people don't know this, but the only reason why I am still here is because of him. The day before I met him, i lost all my friends and it seemed like everyone started to fade out of my life. I was gonna end it all. i took the knife and almost did it. But just as I was about to, my phone dings. I look over.. And I see this person texting me. He was only bored, but I'm super glad that he sent me that text. He means more to me than the entire world. I fought for him once and I would do it again in a heart beat. I can never ever lose him. Cause that feeling will come back and I will do it. I almost did it a few nights ago, but I didn't. I couldn't do that to him. So he can't leave my life, and I will never ever leave his

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Dove - posted on 07/16/2016

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SUICIDE PREVENTION:

If you have encountered a direct threat of suicide on Circle of Moms, or if you are seeking support, we encourage you to contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by visiting http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

United States residents can call NSPL at: 1-800-273-8255.

Crisis workers at the Lifeline are available 24/7 and the call is free and confidential. If you feel uncomfortable posting this information in the community, you can send her a personal message or you can also call the Lifeline directly for guidance in how to support her.

For all other countries, visit http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Ce...


This stuff is posted in one of the posts pinned at the top of the page. I hope you will utilize it. ♥

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2016

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Now you are being immature. You are 13! What on earth did you think a bunch of mothers were going to say? He is too old for you!

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Sheila - posted on 07/16/2016

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Sweetie, you need to get some counseling from an adult, not the19 year old guy.. I know you feel we Moms do not understand your feelings. I do and I believe the vast majority on this site do,too. When I was your age I felt the same as you about a boy!
A thought: why not call the suicide prevention hotline and talk to them about your situation and wanting to kill yourself (and how you almost did). They will listen to you with caring and compassion and they are loving safe adults. Promise me you will call them. Love, from a mom who cares about you. 💝

Dove - posted on 07/16/2016

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You are going to have a long, hard life in front of you. With that attitude your life will not change and nothing will get better. Life is HARD. Life is PAINFUL. I know that. I get that. Was I raised in a neglectful, abusive home? No... but I have friends and family members that were (all adults now). It SUCKS. There is no denying that, but it's what YOU do w/ it that makes the difference.

If you don't want to listen to people that used to be suffering teenagers and made it through... well, there's nothing we can do to change that.... but then why did you come on a mom's site in the first place? I think you DO want help and you DO want things to get better in a healthy way. Unfortunately the only person on the planet that can take the step to get help... is you.

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2016

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Dove is right, you need to call someone (not him) but your mom, aunt, cousin or anyone you know that can help you. If you cannot think of one single person who you can turn to and you want to harm yourself; call 911. Now. You will not get in trouble. Relying on a 19yo man for validation and support is not healthy. His friends are telling him to stay away because he could go to jail and it also looks really inappropriate.
You say:
" So he can't leave my life, and I will never ever leave his "
When he is in prison for statutory rape, you will never see him again and his life will be ruined by having to register as a sex a offender. When you are 18, you can reconsider.

Christina Michelle - posted on 07/16/2016

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Well i would talk to my birth parents but they already said yes. For your information I live with my gram. And just so I put this out there, i am suicidal because no one in my family cares about me and I am sick and tired of feeling like the outcast. I try to fit in and get comfortable with my family but I cant. There are things that i don't tell them because it would only make them very disappointed in me. You have no idea what kind of things I have to go through everyday, just to make them all happy. I spend days trying to think of the things that I could do that would make them not disappointed in me. But apparently its not me, its my mom and my dad. Who they are disappointed in. But they take it out on me. That's why its hard for me to fit in with people and my surroundings. If your family doesn't love you then how can you love other people? What I do is not easy , in fact its very hard.

Dove - posted on 07/16/2016

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So you ARE the 13 year old in this equation... Where are your parents? Sweetie... you need to get yourself into some counseling.... immediately. This is not safe for you and it is not appropriate. NO 19 year guy should look at you as anything more than a little sister type of friendship. You being this young and this obsessive is dangerous.

I KNOW you want love and attention and you are hurting. I really, really get all that. From the time I was 14 the only thing I wanted out of life was to be a mom... because I too felt empty and wanted someone to love me. But this... this is not the way. It WILL end badly. You need to work on yourself (through therapy and, hopefully, talking to your parents) because relying on any other human this obsessively can't go any other way.

Michelle - posted on 07/16/2016

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You are 13 FFS!!!!! What on earth does a 19yo want with a 13yo anyway?
It is against the law for starters.

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