I need to vent!!!!!

Erinn - posted on 04/22/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )




AHHHHHH....... Where to begin?? I am soooo exhausted and my husband is unemployed and driving me outta my mind!!! My kids (and I love them with all of my heart!!) are making me wanna pull out my hair!! My baby girl, Ava, is either eating or crying and my son Noah, is 3 and starting to resort to being a baby once again (I assume its because he isn't the "baby" anymore.... I can't even remember what i used to enjoy before the kids and husband and I know we only got married because I got pregnant with our son... he keeps reminding me every time we argue... which is a lot lately..... sorry ladies, but a girls gotta vent!! Sometimes you just need to get it out sometimes and I would much rather do it on here than at my family!! Oh.... did I mention i'm exhausted???

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Kimber - posted on 06/17/2011




well no need to say that you are sorry even a little bit girl!
I think it comes a time when we all need to vent be it a mom,or a dad! other wise you are going to loose your everloving mind,and go out of your mind crazzy,and then where would your family be a mess ha ha ha!!But iam so sorry that your hubby throws that the only reason why he married you to start with was just b/c you got prego with your son! to me that is shitty as hell!! I can also relate to you saying that you don't even know what it is that you like to do anymore. I feel the sameway most of the time. I think that it just comes from being a momma,and somehow we loose ourselfs a little,but that is when we both,and all the rest of us that may feel the same way need to just stop for a min(iknow easier said then done),and just try to find something new that makes us happy! It's hard,and i have tried it a little bit,and i see it working for me a little,and i hope that i will find what it is that i enjoy fun wise again sometime soon,and i hope the same thing for you as well girl. Well Best Of Luck to you!

Virginia - posted on 04/23/2009




A girl at my work told me that she read something that said that marriages get harder when you have children and if you survive the marriage until they get to school,. then things get much better!

Toddlers and babies are always going to be hard because they often don't sleep well and need you to do a lot of their stuff. I hope you can move forward with your husband to make it to that age, and try to do stuff like the ladies above have mentioned. Time out for each of you and time together too.

good luck!

Janine - posted on 04/23/2009




Ok first you need to go for a long walk and ask yourself what it is that makes you happy, second thing can you leave the kids with someone for a few hours???you need to talk with the man and see what makes him happy, is there anything you can do and vice verser.Dont stay together just for the kids as you will just end up hating each other and you both deserve what makes you happy.

Now the kids....is Ava tired all the time?Is she picking up on the stress at home???Noah make him a man and ask him to help with the baby, getting nappies ect

Goodluck and take care

Bea - posted on 04/23/2009




maybe you should vent it at your husband, we're all tired we all have the same things to deal with and we all sort out our issues differently. howz the guy ever gonna know if you're venting it on a computer instead of the person you supposedly love honour and respect? your both adults... talk like adults? better yet you get a job and leave him to deal with the kids?

Mel - posted on 04/23/2009




Erinn Im sorry but you are continuously posting on here with sympathy stories I have no doubt it is hard for you but you are posting the same thing and giving us the same information why not continue on with posts you have already started previously I for one have posted on one of your questions on here I have offered my support and email address. instead of taking others up on these offers to talk to them etc you write new posts to try and get more comments or something im not sure. you have many people telling you if you need to talk to them you can so take them up on it dont keep posting to vent about the same things you have already wrote. i am by no means a heartless person i too have had it rough in my 19 years but i just dont think its right to keep posting. your not really responding to anybody from what i have seen.

Tara - posted on 04/22/2009




I don't think that it matters how strong your relationship is before you have a baby ...it is always a difficult thing to adapt to for any couple ...and some never come out of it ..because they don't have the guts to do what you just did.....Don't ever be afraid to seek some help......I learnt this the hard way..thats for sure.....I had definitely plotted my partners murder on more than one occasion.....But you will come out of it alive and if he is lucky so will he..lol jk...........That is definately not fair of him to throw that in your face every time you fight ....and I agree with another poster that he wasnt forced to say i do ..u didnt hold a gun to his head.....or did you? none the less......he needs to know how you feel ...you need to make sure he knows that he is hurting you and you need to verbalize it to him......do not keep it bottled up inside because that too will make you insane......
Now I am not at all trying to offend you when I say this......but you did just have a baby ....could it be possible that you have postpartum depression? because most people do not know when they have it ...you might need help of your own ..that might help you get your head on straight so that you can deal with him and you children without feeling like you need to pull your hair out......It is a hard thing to admit might be a problem ..but let me tell you from experience ..what a great feeling to have it fixed!!!!!

If its not a problem then and even if it is ..you need to force him into your role ...you need him to see what it is you do day in and day out....don't leave him with the kids long enough to kill them ..but long enough to get the idea....and because he isn't working should share the same responsibility that you carry ...he should be helping you around the house etc........make sure if you get him to help though that you don't criticize how he does the job ..unless he is going to ruin something .....but he wont do the same job as you and expect that ....and take it for what it is ...you have enough on your plate ....don't be overly anal ....you have a very young baby.....take the time that it has alloted you ...for you and don't feel guilty for it!!!! A house is for free expression not good impressions ..when you have young children. hopefully all works out for you...and your husband ...gets it!!! good luck ......i know you need it!!

Sabrina - posted on 04/22/2009




The comments about needing time to yourself are so right on.. When you make time for yourself it makes you a better mom and a better person. I have 2 boys.. a year old and 2 years old.. they are 15 months apart so I know what you mean about being exhausted. Its ALOT diffrent than being tired. Try to find time to yourself if possible and I hope everything works out for you!!

Teyaka - posted on 04/22/2009




Um, get it off your chest. I understand that yall got married because you were pregnant, but it was a mutal decision to take that step. No one held a gun to his head to make him say "I do." So he needs to suck that up and find another excuse to throw out there. Obviously the marriage can't be that bad if you two are still in the same house, had another kid, and you are just venting on the site. (Not trying to sound like an ass) But if you are exhausted and he's home... wait until naptime, put the kids down, and hop in the car. As you are walking out the door tell him you'll be right back and the kids will be up in a little. My hubby tell me to do this when I get overwhelmed. Just get in the car, by yourself, and DRIVE or go to a park with a good book. Also, let your hubby know that he isn't helping you. Since he is home he is suppose to help lighten what you are carrying on your plate, not add more stuff here and there. If the situation was reversed how would he feel.

If this doesn't work, then leave your hubby at home for a night, take the kids to grandmas, and go to a sister, best friend, or hotel and just relax and sleep. Hell, find a tiny bed and breakfast and treat yourself to a night of silence and rest! You deserve it. And if you wanna vent... we're here to listen and relate!

Melissa - posted on 04/22/2009




Vent away! I myself am not married but do live with my boyfriend and many a night have contemplated smothering him while he sleeps lol. I only have my 6month old son and I get tired and fed up at times too. I can only begin to imagine having a 3 year old to compound things! I think that part of the problem is that maybe your spending to much time together....when we first came home from the hospital my bf took 2 weeks off to be home with us. Very sweet, I loved it really, but by the start of week 2 I was looking for any excuse to get him out of the house. I think you should take an afternoon for yourself, go get your hair done, get a pedi maybe have a drink with a girlfriend. Then another day politely suggest to him that he try to find another job soon. (but NOT if you've had a drink!) He'll probably be alot happier to get out for work as well....it's a a fact that unemployment can cause depression. And when people are sad or mad they tend to say things they don't really mean just to hurt someone else. But keep your head up and remember to breathe.........= )

Jacy - posted on 04/22/2009




in continuation to my post above ^... im a stay at home mom for the time being. i worked 40 hours a week and was still expected by my husband and his family to wake up with the baby all night and take care of her by myself. which i did. my inlaws regret it now because they dont get to help at all with my daughter i shoot them down everytime they ask. my daughter is 2 yrs and my husband is JUST starting to take the inititive to do things without being asked or baggered.
i dont know if your husband pushes the kids on you when you walk through the door. but he should give you some personal time. my hubby works 11p-7a so he gets our daughter in the morning he makes her breakfast and bathes her. when she goes dwn for a nap he goes to bed and shes mine the rest of the day.. i know that its off subject from your issue but i thought i would share lol :)

Jacy - posted on 04/22/2009




oh man i know how you feel! i was bombarded to marry my hubby (whom i do love just not like i did) when i was preg with our daughter. your children want attention that they dont seem to get from your hubby (not trying to put him on the spot). do you and your huband share the same parenting views (like the baby isnt to be carried all day long, and noah isnt to be using her paci or bottle? things like that). were your children in day care before or where you and hubby working separate hours so one of you were always home. i know its difficult with you being the sole worker in the house but you have to take a deep breath in a breathe. maybe ask your husband for an hour of whind down time before you get bombarded with the little ones so you can make dinner take a shower work out etc. i hope this helps.

Jodi - posted on 04/22/2009




Shame I really feel for you. I hope things improve. It can be hard being a mom and having a husband who is not supportive or helpful can make you very frustrated. Try to find some time for yourself, you not only deserve it but need it.

Shannon - posted on 04/22/2009




My husband and I fought alot more when my 2nd was born. I was exhausted and frustrated at not being able to handle a new born and my 16 month old. I felt like a lousy mom and then he would come home and take his shower and go out to the garage for a beer and then come in and wonder why I was sooooo tired. It is hard when they don't understand and until the day when men can have the children I don't think they ever truly will. It is terrible that he is throwing the comment about your marriage into the argument. I hope everything gets worked out but in the mean time is their any one who can give you a little break. Hang in their you are not alone.

Jennifer - posted on 04/22/2009




hi there. i hope it helped to get some venting done. wow that must hurt that your hubby reminds of you that, but you two are married and you have beautiful kids together, and for them you both need to be strong. HIM TOO!! I would try just talking to him when he's in agood mood and disucss calmy how u feel to him, tell him that you feel overwhelmed some times and exhasuted and that u love him and you dont think of him as someone u married b/c u for pregnant but as your life parrtner. I dont know what else to say, but you are not alone. all moms feel wut u are feeling at some point. having kids is not easy and some days are good, some days can be a challenge but keep your chin up. it would be good if u could get a sitter for a few hours so u can go out to the mall or something just u or better yet u and hubby should do somethig to spend some time together away from the kids, even for a few hours. but i know its not always possible to get a sitter, just a thought. Hope u have a better day tomrowow, all the best.

Jenn, mom of two.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms