I punished my son using girl clothes it's still not working any suggestions?

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2015 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My son has been very disrespectful lately and I take things away ALL the TIME I bought a Soffia the First princess dress for him to wear but it's not working I've already tried talking to him everything you could think of.

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Cutemommy - posted on 03/19/2015

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For shame! taking and eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Maybe teaching him some self respect, and manners. You can't mentally abuse him and take away his pride and tell him to respect other people. Teach him some self respect and that will help him respect others. behavior is the outer view of something that is going on inside. If you can figure out what is going on inside then the behaviors on the outside should improve., like he could possibly see other people acting in this manner so he feels it is ok.

Ledia - posted on 03/18/2015

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Can you explain this to me? What exactly does dressing in a princess dress have to do with earning respect?

Does he like the princess dresses? Are you trying to bribe him by letting him wear them, but making him be secretive because you are ashamed of his sexuality?

Or does he hate the princess dress and you are making him wear them because you think he will be ashamed of looking feminine? If it is the latter, let me just say--Way to go on reinforcing societal ideas that being feminine or being a girl is somehow less than being a boy or being masculine. If you are using feminine clothing to shame your child into good behavior, please be aware that the only reason he doesn't want to appear feminine is because YOU are the feminine roll model he has to look up to, and I don't think anyone would want to be like you.

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John - posted on 03/22/2015

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Don't make him wear that! He will never forget or forgive. And if all you do is take stuff away it won't work for long, and the reason is to him is that it doesn't give him anything constructive and the same thing all the time,it's like yelling at him all the time. Try making the punishment fit the crime, or what worked for me with my first two boys was standing in the corner. They had to stand perfectly still at attention for 15 min and every time they move, flinched, or turned there head I added 5 min. But you also have to start training early once they get past seven or eight it's almost impossible . But I guess I'm saying try different things but give him something to do except to sit and think how much he thinks he hates you right at that moment.

Jodi - posted on 03/20/2015

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Jacy, if you'd been around long enough, you would know a troll post when you saw one too. I invite you to scroll through the pages.....

Jacy - posted on 03/19/2015

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This is supposed to be a place of help not judgment! Shame on all of you for being so harsh on Her!!! We are all doing the best we can with what we have where we are! Please try to offer words of comfort and advise and not pass such harsh judgment! Though I do understand each and every post there are certainly kinder words to make your point and be a supportive woman (like you would want your kids to be) if your going to be so mean you should definitely have some answers to help not further harm

Ledia - posted on 03/19/2015

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If he likes the dress and says he'll be more respectful if you let him wear it, then why did you say it "isn't working"??

Let him wear the damned dress. If you are ashamed that's your issue.

Really, I think you're just a adolescent boy with no life. Enjoy your evening at home.

Jessica - posted on 03/19/2015

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My son just told me he likes the dress and he'll be more respectful and do what I want the first time i ask him. If I let him wear the dress in secret then he will be good.

Chung - posted on 03/18/2015

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Jessica I can't believe I'm reading this! You have him dress up like a little girl and then make him play in the dress with some other little girls? And do they humiliate him too? But somehow it's ok because it's all kept "secret". Jessica if the discipline of a child has to be kept secret then that discipline is probably WRONG. Have you questioned yourself that you possibly want to make him a girl? This is very twisted. I just don't understand. I don't want to sound harsh but there's just no way around it. I feel horrible for your little boy. May God bless and protect him. 😥

Chung - posted on 03/18/2015

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Like the other replies get some help with parenting. Who knows how this will effect his views on females, mother figures and the like. Prevention is much better then trying to correct/fix a person after 18+ years of that while trying growing up into a functional adult. So please get professional help. You owe that to your little boy. He deserves a healthy supportive environment. I wish you both well.

Sarah - posted on 03/18/2015

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Jessica, you could not possibly have tried EVERYTHING, and had no success. Have you been to see a behavioral therapist? Have you really taken away everything? Left him with a pillow, flashlight, a change of appropriate clothing and a blanket? Humiliation will breed resentment. What sort of behavior are you trying to fix by forcing him to dress this way?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/18/2015

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Sooooo.....you expect your child to respect you, yet you are disrespecting him? Think about it.

I am hoping this is a troll post, but just in case it is not....please stop doing this to your child. 11 years old, he is probably going through many changes and doesn't need to be humiliated by mom. Surely he should not be disrespectful, but HOW is he being this way? What is he doing to deserve this kind of punishment in your eyes? I really hope you figure this out with him. Talk with him about his behavior.

Jessica - posted on 03/18/2015

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I never take him outside in public but I do make him play with the little neighbor girls next door whom both are very secretive about it. Their all about 8 and 9 and the oldest 11 years old

Chana - posted on 03/16/2015

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This is so wrong! Humiliation is not punishment it is abuse. What is he doing that is so bad because nothing deserves humiliation. It is quite possible that his behavior is typical for his age.

Raye - posted on 03/16/2015

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It's not appropriate to punish your son by humiliating him (wearing princess dress). That's mental abuse. What has your son been doing, and what else have you tried before the attempted humiliation?

If your punishments are not working, you may need to get him into counseling, or figure out more appropriate punishments that he will pay attention to.

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