I really need some advice!

Nalleli - posted on 04/09/2012 ( 26 moms have responded )

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Hello my name is Nalleli I am 20 years old and have a wonderful 4 year old son I am happily engaged to my loving caring and supportive boyfriend who has been there for me since day one ,I am at a point in my life where everything is perfect and I think im ready to have my 2 child but i cant get past that fact that people around me are judging me they say I should enjoy my life that i got pregnant at a young age and that i should take advantage of not having any more kids ,on the other hand i have a good job a house and a stable relationship I know I shouldn't care what people think but i need some advise from people who are going through the same thing!!!

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Donna - posted on 04/11/2012

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Nalleli, only you can decide what you want from life, I was 21 when I met my husband, he was 10 years older, I moved in with him after two weeks and pregnant my him a month later, everything felt right from day one. We got married had another child and I do not regret a single moment. He has since passed away from cancer but I have two beautiful daughters, it is not about anyone else but you and your partner, if it feels right then do it, My daughters are now older teenagers and I am am doing everything I ever wanted to do because I can, I think having children young gives you the rest of your life to grab things as they come along, we don't know what is around the corner and shouldn't wait for it just in case now is not the right time!!

Renee Marie - posted on 04/12/2012

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I just has my second child, my two girls are exactly 2 1/2 years apart and i am 22 years old now.. when it came to trying to have my second child i was also told to hold off for a while but to be i really wanted my children to grow up together ... having them too far apart just seemed like they wouldnt enjoy playing together as much, i felt like as the baby would start to play with baby toys she would grow out of them if i were to wait a few more years.. so for me that was why i decided to start trying for my second. Your life right now seem to be set in place for you you have everything a family needs to be happy and i think you should do what is right for you`s... it`s about you and your family not what everyone else thinks

Sheilla - posted on 04/11/2012

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Have your babies now. that way they will all be close in age, and you will have plenty of time to do what you want when they are grown....If you spread them out, you wont have time for you and your husband in 20 years......

Michelle - posted on 04/09/2012

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I wouldn't worry about what other people think. Look at it this way, if you have your children young then you can enjoy your life later on. Go travelling etc before you're too old to enjoy it. If you and your boyfriend both want another one then go ahead. It's your life and you need to live it how you want, not to please everyone else.

26 Comments

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Beth - posted on 04/12/2012

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No matter what choice you make, there is always somebody that will have something to say. If you are ready and your partner is too, then GO FOR IT. We both had said we weren't going to thave kids. Four years ago we decided we wanted to try . I will be 40 this year we are not going to have another one, our decision but everyone is saying our daughter needs a sister or brother. Others also said we waited so long. My reply "no we did what we wanted and now we are ready". We still do trips and fun things but its based on the three of us. I couldn't be happier.

Basically be happy, don't let others control your choice. : )

Corne' - posted on 04/12/2012

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If you are a believer you will know the answer. In the end it is not up to people to judge, but we can give advice. This is a discussion between you and the father of the kid(say. The rest of us are seeing only the bit that you share but you know the full story. My advice? Prayerfully consider it. Love first!

Yurena - posted on 04/12/2012

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Love, if you know you are ready and your partner too, and you can afford it, then live your life and nevermind people's opinions!!! I met and married my husband within 4 months (I was 27, he 32), I was already 2 months pregant! We've been married less than 5 years and have a 4 and a 2 1/2 yo. We just 'knew'. Whatever works for your family as long as you are happy. Good luck, xxx.

Leisa - posted on 04/11/2012

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I met at 18 and married my first love at 20. We had our first child at 20 just 4 1/2 months after we were married, then our second at 23 and our third at 27. We know that when they are older enough to leave, we are still young enough to have a life. We made that decision to have children when we did, just the same as you should make the decision to have YOUR children when you do. Your body, life and choice. Good luck, I have been where you are and I have now been married for 17 years and I have a 17 yr old, a 14 yr old and a 10 year old. Wouldn't give them back for anything. GOOD LUCK..... :-))

Samantha - posted on 04/11/2012

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Who cares about being married. And if your first child is 4 they will likely be starting school at 5 so if you were to have a second child then you would have a lot of time just you and new baby. My kids are a year and a half apart I'm 22 and like you I have a house and a great boyfriend and I don't need to be married or live it up to feel complete or happy! I am totally happy with what I have and glad I will be raising my kids while I'm young and fit and also glad when they start life on their own ill still be young enough to enjoy mine. And finally it's very likely I will be a younger grandparent and actually be able to enjoy my grand kids in an active way. I say have your second child and enjoy every moment

Missy - posted on 04/11/2012

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All I know is that I wish I had my kids closer together. They are 15, 9 & 5. If you are financially & emotionally ready (according to you, not family & friends) then go for it. How can they think you can't "enjoy your life" because you have another baby?

Kendra - posted on 04/11/2012

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I would wait until you are married. Age does not matter if you and your partner are both ready.

Anne - posted on 04/11/2012

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Nalleli do what you want to do. It would be good for your son to have a sibling. You have already waited quite a long time to have another babe. You know the work involved and if you aare happy doing it - go for it. I had my first child at twenty and had four in five years - another after six years (she was a bit like an only child and I would have loved to have a mate for her too). My children are all grown-up; my husband and I had so much fun with them in the teenage years (we were strict parents so they knew where they stood), loved every minute of having them and had no regrets ever. My husband died at age 72 and the children all loved him and we miss him. My oldest child is 57 now and my youngest 45 and they still give me great pleasure and happiness. God bless, do what please you and your husband. PS I also have 13 grandchildren and since yesterday 5 great-grandchildren!!! :-)

Monique - posted on 04/11/2012

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i had my first daughter at 20 and people still thought i was too young and its funny you mentioned traveling bc i had my 2nd at 23 and people tell us we had kids young so we missed ou on traveling but we said they'll be out of the house before were 40 and we'll hae time/money to enjoy it then. It happens differently for everyone but for us we are glad we had kids in our 20s bc itstiring enough cant imagine doing it in my 30s. you should like you have done well for yourself,people can be good moms even though their young. do what makesu happy!

Cassandra - posted on 04/11/2012

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I have a daughter your age an I would say that if your unsure then you should wait, two children is double the work. But if that voice inside is saying yes then only you can decided, just remember two children takes twice the patience, good luck sweetie!

Samantha - posted on 04/11/2012

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I would absolutely have another kid. why wouldn't you. you already have one child there is not much you cant do with 2 children that you do with one you live your life for your kids no matter how many you have and i think if you started young you should finish young that way when your kids are grown and moved out you will still be young and you can do whatever it is people think you need to do to enjoy life

Carri - posted on 04/11/2012

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You need to do what's right for you and your family. I didn't have kids till I was 35 ( I started trying when I was thirty, needed ivf etc.) and I am very happy with my decision - but that was mine. My feeling is that if you already have one child and you'd like another go for it, siblings are great and by the time your kids are grown and ready for university (college) you'll only be my age and still have heaps of life to live for you.

Abigail - posted on 04/11/2012

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hey i was married 3 days after my 19th b day and i was 3 months pregnant and while it was kinda fast i woudnt have changed it for anything if u wont to have another baby then thats for u n ur boyfriend to decide he should b the only one that gets a say in that part cus its yalls children bottom line if u feel ready then thats all that matters family is whats important in life

AnnMarie - posted on 04/11/2012

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I was 25 when I had my first and people still thought I was young. My 2nd was born 6 years later. Because that was the right time for us to have them both. It's all what you want and what makes you happy. Other people don't live your life so they don't get a say in your choices. (Other than your fiancée, who I assume is on board with this decision) If you think you are ready then go for it. Everyone will have their opinions but they don't matter unless you allow them too.

Heather - posted on 04/11/2012

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I think the fact that you posted this question here shows that you are unsure of what you really want. If you were certain that another child is the right thing for you, you wouldn't need to have your decision justified by other's opinions...That being said, I'd advise you to sit down with your bf and talk about it, if you both really want another child and are ready to make the sacrifices that go along with that (you've been through this before, and know what you're getting yourself into) then go for it!

It really wasn't that long ago that people routinely got married at like 13 yrs old (well at least the girls). Granted their lifespans were generally shorter then, but this is your life, live it as you choose!

Jennifer - posted on 04/11/2012

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Ask yourself what you really want? Are you going to regret not "living it up" or are you going to regret not having another child now? Nobody else can tell you what right choice is for you, except YOU! Go with what will make you happy!

Natalia - posted on 04/10/2012

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For goodness' sake! May the Lord send you another beautiful child! Children are a matter between you, your husband, and God! Not other people's! Please do not care too much about what they say. Our children are our own happiness. They will make US happy. Besides... imagine how awesome it would be when you're 40 something...Your kids could go on vacations with you....with THEIR children)



I am 24, and am pregnant 9 weeks with my third child! And every child was planned and wanted so...

We must live our own lives...how we ourselves want to. God bless

Kimberly - posted on 04/09/2012

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What people really need you realize is yes you did have your son young and you did one hell of a job raising him and getting to where you are now. You are in a stable relationship, have a home and job behind you and frankly if you want another baby then you and your partner make that choice, not other people!!! No matter what age you choose to do it at there will be someone out that who thinks it wrong. I was 27 when I had my daughter and people said to me was I really ready?? I will now be having my second at 30 and people are commenting on the age gap between them which will be 3 years its like really???? Is your life so boring that you have to focus on mine!! Enjoy your life and children if you have more great if you wait great just make sure your doing it for your reasons no one elses

Teresa - posted on 04/09/2012

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i am not a single mom but i was young when i had my first, i was barely 19 when my oldest was born. i was still 17 when i got married. everyone told me it wouldn't work and my marriage wouldnt last. its been almost 8 years, we have 4 kids... my point? its your life, you know what you want in your life and who you want. you are lucky to have a child and someone who is being a good daddy to your child. if its time for another one, then have another. i know most people don't agree with marriage, but i firmly believe in being married, but both people need to want to b married to make it work. have another baby if YOU want, maybe consider getting married? lots of people judge me as well when they see me walking around with even just 2 of my kids, always making comments of wow you got your hands full, or your busy... i tell them yes and theres 4 of them. my oldest being 6 and my baby is 5 months. but i wouldn't trade it. i'm sure if you want 1 more or 3 more you'll be happy either way. good luck!

Nalleli - posted on 04/09/2012

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Thank You Michelle I truly think I am ready and your right i will be done raising my kids at a you age!

Nalleli - posted on 04/09/2012

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Thank You Michelle I truly think I am ready and your right i will be done raising my kids at a you age!

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