Elizabeth - posted on 11/29/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
Let me start off by saying that I love my husband with all of my heart, and there isn't a doubt in my mind that he's the right person for me. My concerns are stemming from the fact that the added pressure from being married is sending us on a tailspin, and I'm just not sure how to fix it!
I haven't even known my husband for a year. We met at the very beginning of March, and we were married at the end of June. I became pregnant at the beginning of June, and due to my health insurance not covering maternity we got married. We already knew that we were in love. We already knew we wanted to be together long term, and it didn't seem forced/rushed at that time. It just made sense. Yes, planning a big wedding would've been what I wanted, but that wasn't going to happen with a bun in the oven. We found out that we were going to miscarry 3 days before getting married, and we still decided that's what we wanted to do.
Fast forward 5 months, and I'm freaking out! We found out about 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant again (we were trying), but I'm so overwhelmed this time around. It seems to me that all of the responsibilities in our relationship fall in my lap, and I'm starting to resent it. If we would've had a longer transition period from dating to marriage I wouldn't be bothered at all... the things that I do are what a wife SHOULD do, but a girlfriend of 9 months would never be expected to do the things that I do.
I do ALL of the parenting to my 3.5 year old stepson (enrolled him in school, get him ready in the morning, drop him off, pick him up, make all of his meals, bathe him, teach him, discipline him, play with him, read to him, clean up after him... EVERYTHING). My husband works a lot, but that doesn't mean I should be the one left to parent his child completely. I do all of the cleaning. I do all of the laundry. I'm the only one who cooks, or packs my husbands lunches, or pays the bills, or gets anything done at all!
I also am a small business owner, and trying to manage EVERYTHING else that I have to do and work is next to impossible.
What can I do? How can I go back to the giddy feeling that I had when I'd see my husband before instead of being constantly frustrated. Plus, being pregnant again... I don't know how I'm possibly going to manage a new baby on top of everything else!
Somebody please talk to me, or give me some words of strength/encouragement. I just need some darn help!