i screwed up and now i'm in tears

Vee - posted on 12/31/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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i had a very heated argument with my 20 yr old son tonight and i said that i am the only one that truly supports him in his dream to become a writer. he asked me what i meant by that and i said some people had their doubts about the field he was getting into but i know he has the talent and skill to make it no matter what. remember this was in a heated argument so we have a lot of raw emotions.he asked who had doubts and i said it doesn't matter as long as he believes in himself he will succeed. he asked me who doesn't believe and i told him it didn't matter. i knew at this point things were going to turn ugly and i told him the conversation was done. he pressed on and then asked if it was his uncle (he really looks up to his uncle) i couldn't answer and that gave it away. he was so devastated and felt betrayed. his uncle is a good guy and he does support him in his dream but at the same time i think he is just concerned that it is a hard industry to get into especially since he had a manuscript rejected in the past himself. i think its just his own fear being projected on my son. his uncle never said to him he couldn't do it or didn't say he didn't believe in him but he did mention to me in the past that he is worried that its a hard thing to succeed in. my son said he wants nothing to do with his uncle and never wants to speak to him again because he feels betrayed. i tried explaining to him that he is taking it all out of context and seeing it the wrong way. his uncle is unaware of this fight and tomorrow is his birthday and he is going to wonder why his nephew is not on speaking terms with him. i did not mean for this to happen and i don't know how to fix this. before anyone thinks i have some childhood resentment or any other negative thing against my brother, they are wrong. in fact if anything would have happened to me when my kids were little he would have been the one i wanted to care for my kids. i feel like the biggest jerk and the worst mom and sister in the world right now. i hurt my son and my brother doesn't know it yet but i hurt him to. God i hate myself right now

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