Tootie - posted on 09/28/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )
Hi All. I'm a 31yr old married, mom of 3 girls. My girls are 13,5 and 2 on the 1st of Oct. I'm a SAHM with a blood dissorder called sickle cell anemia. I'm in a lot of pain and I take a lot of medicine. This doesn't stop my disciplining but it mite have had something to do with the way she was treated by everyone around us. I wasen't suppose to have children, let the Drs tell it. and after 5yrss of trying I had her. I can't gaurantee my life span and because of that and she's my first, she was treated "special". Now I'm speaking of my 5yr old. She's teqnicaly my oldest, my 13yr old is my SD. She's been in my life sence she was one and we've had custody of her for the majority of her life. Thats why I say the disciplin hasen't changed.
Now about my problem with Destinee. Ok, so due to my sickle cell she was born 2 months early and i was taking morphine for pain while i spent the last 3 months in the Hospital. She wasen't addicted and she went home soon as she got bigger. She was just little from being early but outside of speaking late, there were no problems, per say....
Destinee has allways been an INCHARGE Type of kid, in your face, wants all the attention and SPOILED! Due to everyone around us, grandma, aunt,uncle and cousins...My husband and I NEVER did the "spoiled" thing in my house. What your allowed to do at grandma,you understand that you can't do it here. I was raised a military Kid so the way i think a child should be, isn't how most people think nowadays. I have rules, I'm the adult and your the child, no talking back, no questioning when i say no to something, You WILL Respect ALL Elders to you. You are to be seen and not heard and yes, my children say "yes ma'am, Yes Sir" and so on. I believe your child should fear you. And My Baby Girl Doesn't care about ANY Of the rules. She does what she wants when she wants. She knows the consiquences, she knows what will make me mad, I Do the discipling and daddy "talks" and All the kids get treated with the same consiquences for the most part. She laughs when your telling her not to do something or when your yelling at her or even if she gets a whoopin, she thinks EVERYTHING is a Joke! I raised my SD and she was NOTHING like that and now my youngest is doing what the 5yr old does. My 5yr old HAS to have the last word.."Destinee, STOP SPINNING YOUR SISTER"!.."Mommy, we're JUST Playing"..stuff like that. She has to have a response to EVERYTHING..Your only 5, you question me "WHY" I said no But she will. I now a child is who they're going to be by 3 and thats what scares me. If she's SO Defient NOW, What is it gone be when she's 14,15. I tried therapy and the Dr basicaly said it's my fault. I stopped seeing him,lol but I'm lost. I see our future sittin on the Maury Stage telling them how out of controle my 12yr old daughter is.She Has a father in the house, hard working and commited to his family and Loves the HELL OUTTA his Girls.If she don't get her way,SMH..She wines and cries over EVERYTHING,I mean EVERYTHING! More than my 2yr old and that drives me CRAZY! She's such a loveling girl and Respectful, she's my heart and I wil NEVER Give up on her but I realy DON'T KNOW what else to do anymore. Her father is callmer than I am but I expect more. What do I do to get her on track. to understand SHE'S NOT the Boss,she's a child. I'm just stumped, Any suggestions? Please, what am I doing Wrong? HELP!