I swear that our step son is going to drive me insane!

Yvonne - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I swear that our step son is going to drive me nuts! And, when i say our step son thats what I mean. He has ADHD, OCD, ODD & FASD. He is a smart cookie and can control himself at school (been told that if you walk into the classroom you'd never know he has any problems) and at our respite workers home he is respectful, helpful and more responsible! At home it is the opposite he is mean to our other 2 kids, harmful to them, everything is an accident, meds don't seem to touch him anymore! I have contemplated removing myself and the two other kids from the house to help our other two kids have some kinda regular life! We are a blended family to begin with! I have a 9 year old son, My husband has a 7 year old daughter and he also has his 9 year old step son! any advise would be awesome!


Ariana - posted on 10/22/2012




It helps if you give more specific behaviors. What happens when he 'accidently' hurts one of the other kids? I would have him do some sort of action to help them (give them an ice-pack etc.) and apologize. If it happens quite frequently you can always tell him he cannot play around the other two because he apparently is very clumsy so he needs to go into another room for the next 30 minutes (or w/e).

The good news is he CAN behave at school. I've heard that some kids spend so much time trying to control their behaviors outside the home that once they are at home it can become overwhelming. Not sure if that is the situation or not but it's possible. If he has incidents of hurting the others kids you may want to make him you or your husbands 'shadow'. So if there is a incident even 'accidental' make it so the next two days he has to be in the same room as you or your husband, never alone with the other two. Either that or up in his room (which shouldn't have to many toys/electronics).

Like I said, giving some more specific behaviors can help with having people give advice to how to deal with these behaviors. Is your son seeing a councellor? You may want to get into some form of family councelling so the whole family can make changes to see if it can help. Although there may be one main 'problem child' a whole family dynamic may need to change in order for him to start changing.

I always try to find natural consequences where applicable. If you are disrespectful you are sent to your room because you cannot talk to people rudely and must give three different ways you could've handled the situation better before returning from your room. If you don't have homework/chores done you can't go play or use computer/tv etc. Of course natural consequences don't work for everything but it tends to link things together.

I would give some more info on here about specific behaviors and also find a family councellor to speak to if it's gotten this bad.


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Yvonne - posted on 10/22/2012




You are right Jodi! Neither of us are biological parents of this young man! He has a whole list of interesting things going on with him! Yes we see a child psychologist every 3 months! Sometime i think its more of a medication game with him! Don't get me wrong he is a good kid.....He can list all the house rules ( but doesn't follow them )He's tried to set our house and other houses on fire! He has accidentally Broken my son's wrist! Broke his own bones due to lack of thinking! I will write more when I get time!

Jodi - posted on 10/22/2012




I'm confused. You mean NEITHER of you are the biological parent? That's what I see when I read your post.....

Holly - posted on 10/22/2012




sounds like he is a BRAT... I think its that he has no boundaries at home... Ithink that is probably the REAL problem... school has boundaries,,, home doesn't... school he behaves, home he doesn't.

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