I think I hate my 15 year old daughter

Alicia - posted 6 days ago ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am at a breaking point. My 15 year old daughter has committed several felonies, a misdemeanor, been suspended from school, and has over dosed on pills and admitted she did so just to hurt me. She has tried to recruit boys in school to beat up her ex boyfriend, she has sent inappropriate pictures of herself, she has acted out sexually with boys. She is currently in a partial program as treatment for her suicide attempt, but if I am being completely honest, I just can’t keep doing this. She is manipulative and conniving and I am afraid she is snowballing her doctors and counselors. They want to discharge her next week but I am so afraid. I want so badly to be the mom that never gives up on their kid, but I am chronically ill and just feel like I have hit a wall. I feel like I should never stop trying but I am so very tired. I am afraid she will hurt someone or herself. I am pushing myself but I find myself not even wanting to be in the same room with her. Any advice is appreciated.

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Sarah - posted 2 days ago

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i agree with Marie; you don't get to opt out no matter how awful she may act up. I also agree that busy teens have very little time to act up and also have better self-worth.

Marie - posted 2 days ago

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Giving up isn’t an option for us mothers. My daugter is 14 now but I have a niece that lives with me part time and she is doing the same thing. What my family and I concluded is to embrace her with so much love and attention that she’s sick of it. Sometimes young girls are lacking attention and seeking for it in the wrong places. We also keep her VERY busy with sports, working, volunteering or creative arts. When they are busy doing other productive things they have no time to do other bad things. I hope this helps because so far is helping for us. Praying for you both.

Shenequa - posted 3 days ago

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She is probably testing you. Maybe she doesn’t believe you love her or that you will always be there for her. Please excuse her reasoning. Deep down she wants to know that you will always there for her. I know it sounds crazy but your daughter is worth you never giving up on her. I don’t know what that means for you (setting boundaries, restrictions, therapy, etc.) but you shouldn’t give up. As her mother, love her and be there for her. The truth is she is making a lot of choices that will have lasting consequences and if she continues, the consequences will only get more severe. You are the authoritative figure in her life and you need to assert that. Do your best and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t see an immediate change in her. It will take a lot of time, a lot of tears, and a lot of will power but you can have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. You don’t have to argue with her, you don’t have to get in a battle with her, don’t try to be her best friend either. Don’t buy her everything she wants (clothes, cell phones, etc.). Try to do things with her by yourself and make sure you stick to a routine with her. Don’t tell her you love her today and then when she does something, you tell her you hate her. You have to be consistent with her. You have to make sure you are ready to put in the work to save your daughter and to save your relationship with her.

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