I think I really hurt my teenage daughter, how do I get her to talk to me?

Leslie - posted on 04/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I've been having minor problems with my 14-year old daughter. We seem to be arguing a lot more. Long story short when she came home we got into another argument right after she tried to close the door in my face. She said something that enraged me and I said "You're a f**ked up teenager!" Once I said that she looked like she was going to cry. She closed the door slowly and she ended up locking it. I don't know how since her door does not have a lock, but she figured out how anyways. She hasn't came out the room all day. And when she did, all she did was take a shower, use the bathroom, and go back inside her room and lock it. She is being stubborn and I can't cope with this anymore! How do I get her to talk to me

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Guest - posted on 04/05/2014

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What did she say that caused you to say that to her?
You need to find the root of the problem, and that can't happen without looking at the details. If you really think she is a f**ked up teenager, you have to be ready to admit that you bare some of the responsibility for that. We bring up and shape our children from the time they are born. Many of our decisions determine who they will become.

Think about what she said, and why she said it--beyond the fact that she was angry and trying to get a rise out of you. If it bothered you enough to say something like that, there must have been some truth to it that hit a nerve with you. When you figure that out, you can build on it and determine what steps will help you repair the damage.

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