I think my BF is using me, financially and for his rotten teen daughte

Michelle - posted on 06/07/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I'm a 40 yr old women, no children. When I met my bf I was going through a lot of things. I became disabled and lost my job. My life changed dramatically. Then he came along. He's strong, dependable and very genuine. I felt he is the one. We're both divorced. He had 2 young children, 10 and 15. After 6 months. His daughter was being abused by her mom. We took her out of that situation. He was helpful financial and emotional. At that time I wasn't receiving much for my disability. I had to rely on him for some things. But, I pretty much took care of my home. It was a struggle, but I managed. When I stared getting well enough to live beyond comfortable. That's when we moved to a bigger place. The 3 of us. His daughter became rude, disrespectful and very ungrateful towards me. I've spoken to her and him on numerous occasions. Now, it's turning into, "I'm picking on her". Since we moved. I put all the money on the new place, paying all the bills and buying things for us. Still being disrespected by his daughter with no repercussions from him. I'll disapline her by taking things away. But, still get no respect. No recognition on what she does is wrong. No apologies nothing. So as time goes on. Still no help from the man. I brought it to his attention about helping.( Which I don't think I should have. ) This has been going on for 5 mnths now. He paid some bills for the last month. But, not rent. Bills that he suppose to pay due to an agreement he made with my family member, he paid randomly but, not consistent. I've been paying for him. Making it look good for him. Promising me trips and taking me places. I haven't seen nothing yet. So recently, I sat back and analysed my situation. And came to this conclusion. Here's the catch. He wanted to get me an engagement ring. With my credit card. Hmmmmm, now when the bill came. I gave it to him. No attempt to pay. So I brought the ring back. Not on my life, will I pay for my own ring. So, now I'm thinking about the whole picture. His hateful daughter. The way he let's her run things with no boundaries. When I'm stern I'm wrong. So f#! $ it. She your child u raise her. Not in my home. But, he won't leave. He's on the lease. I'm not a mean person to just kick them out. Just like a man. Who pays all the bills and provides for his family. He deserves respect. Not me!!! I'm not getting that. I have a gut feeling and I'm trying to be settle about wanting to change for the better for me. I know he won't take it lightly like a man and except what is about to happen. I'm hoping he does. I'll offer to give him money to get another place. It's just not working for me. And I'm very unhappy.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2015

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Yeah, seriously, having someone else removed from the lease is VERY difficult. Getting yourself off the lease will be easier. I could see him making you pay for a new place, him moving, defaulting, and moving back in with you cause he never removed himself from the lease. Don't get screwed. Bite the bullet and just move.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/08/2015

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If you're both on the lease, have your name removed and move out. Simple enough.

Michelle - posted on 06/08/2015

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Paying him to move out is just giving him more money like you are complaining about in your OP. You get his name off the lease and give him a date he has to leave by if you really want to stay. DON'T pay for his new place, he's a big boy and knows how to pay for things himself. You're not his Mother.
Like Little Miss said, you could always move as well. I'm sure there's another place that you will like and then hire removalists to move you.
You seem to like making excuses about why you can't just kick him out now, you're far too nice and he knows it. He will take full advantage of it and milk even more money out of you. Be strong and get rid of him.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2015

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No, what it will do is actually enable him more. You will find another place that you like.

Michelle - posted on 06/08/2015

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I have so much things. Everything in this house Is mine. Plus I have a disability. I thought about that too. Leaving and having him stay. But I like it here. I know it sound crazy paying for a place to stay for him. But, I just thought it would kinda make him move out quickly.

Raye - posted on 06/08/2015

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It doesn't sound like a good relationship for anyone in that house. You should figure out a way for you to move out. Don't keep putting your happiness in his hands. You need to make your own happiness somewhere else.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2015

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WHY would you pay money for him to move out??? That is nuts. How about YOU move out, and pay the down payment for your own place??? That way you don't have to kick him out, or pay for his new home. That is really counterproductive. Get your name off the lease and move.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/08/2015

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WHY would you pay money for him to move out??? That is nuts. How about YOU move out, and pay the down payment for your own place??? That way you don't have to kick him out, or pay for his new home. That is really counterproductive. Get your name off the lease and move.

Michelle - posted on 06/07/2015

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I already did. The only way would be eviction. Like I said I'm not mean. And I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. I want to talk to him and tell him that it isn't working out. I'll put the down payment on a new place. I can do fine by myself.

Michelle - posted on 06/07/2015

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It sounds like you have already figured out what you need to do.
You should also check with your landlord about getting his name off the lease, then you can kick him out.

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