I think my husband and step-son both have Aspergers

Lauren - posted on 06/15/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband and I agreed to marital counseling about 5 years ago. It is a second arrange for both of us. The counselor told me during a private session that he thought my husband displayed traits of Aspergers. I mentioned this to my husband and he became very angry and will not discuss it. I love my husband very much and he is very thoughtful at times but he is becoming more and more socially awkward. I see the same traits in my now 19 year old Step-son. I think my in-laws and Brothers-in-laws have Aspergers as well. My Sisters-in-law are no consolation because they are very self serving women and if they are impacted they do not discuss it. I try and encourage and facilitate a functional family life including my adult daughter and grandchildren but am exhausted from making all the effort. Since I am no longer working outside the
home, I am isolated and cutoff from a social network. Sometimes I feel I am living in a house of mirrors. Are there any other Moms and Spouses out there in a similar situation that will share information about how they cope. I do not want to leave my husband but it's hard to believe this is my life.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/16/2016

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My son has actually been diagnosed, tyvm. I live with Aspberger's every day and have for 21 years, and somehow, I've NEVER seen it as difficult.

That's why it irritates me when people self diagnose and counselors don't keep confidentiality. No, your counselor should NEVER have mentioned to you in YOUR session that he thinks your husband is on the spectrum. That is NOT his place. doesn't matter if you also go for joint sessions. He SHOULD have approached the subject in the joint session, which would not have been a violation of your husband's privacy, and medical ethics standards. Sorry.

Ev - posted on 06/15/2016

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Lauren--I have a son who was diagnosed with a general Autism disorder but he was in my eyes from what I could research high functioning. He had the social issues as well but he was thrust into the social world anyhow via school, school activities (one class in particular in high school where he had to work on a team oriented project), church, family outings, public places....you name it he had to learn to deal with social networks and also learn the correct behavior to be in out in public. If your husband and step son do not want to do anything about this then there is not much you can do.

Lauren - posted on 06/15/2016

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Shawn,

You have misunderstood and perhaps my posting was not clear. The comment by the counselor was made during an individual appt I had with him after my husband and I met with him together. The counselor did not breach any confidentiality. I think it would have been more helpful if the counselor had told us this information at a joint meeting.

I am not sure if you have any experience with Aspergers as it is a very difficult to live with a person with this disorder no matter how much you love them.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/15/2016

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Seriously? A PROFESSIONAL violated his confidentiality agreement with his client (your husband)????

No wonder your husband is pissed off. I would be too. What is said in HIS appointments is HIS BUSINESS unless he chooses to share it with you.

Hopefully your husband finds a better counselor, and you learn to keep the lid on confidentiality. Even my husband's physician makes him sign a new agreement to include me in his appointments, etc, as it SHOULD be, because he's a competent adult.

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